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Original poster

Grandparent wanting to take child out of your care

33 replies

SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 13:30

Today my charges grandmother came round,

She asked for the carseat out of my car so she could take my 15month old charge out to tesco with her. I refused, then she had a go at me saying she had permission from mum to.

I still refused and she left in a strop.

My grounds for refusing were - child is in my care

  • mum hasn't told me that nan was taking him out

Not a good day!

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chipmonkey · 17/04/2013 09:57

Goodness, I don't think I would leave that much for a cleaner to do, never mind a nanny!

K8Middleton · 17/04/2013 09:40

That's a pretty crap way to treat your nanny. I wouldn't dream of behaving like that. Sounds like a chat about expectations is needed.

annh · 17/04/2013 09:13

Oh, and family had only been away for a few days at the beginning of the hols, otherwise at home.

annh · 17/04/2013 09:13

Twintum the issues seems to be that the nanny came back after over two weeks off and NO laundry for any of the family had been done and the kitchen was overflowing with dirty dishes. The employer made it clear that she expected the nanny to stay in and deal with the housework rather than do things with the kids. Sorry, it is on another thread, I know it's not good form to link threads but it was also yesterday, I had responded on that thread and when I came onto this one I realised it was the same nanny and employer!

TwinTum · 17/04/2013 09:07

What is the laundry issue? If we go on hols, our nanny expects to unpack the DC's cases and do their laundry when we return. if we get home a couple of days before our nanny returns, in all likelihood we will have started it, but she would not mind if we didn't. Our DC are school age though, so may be different as she has a lot of "free" time.
So if the laundry issue is just you had to do the DC's laundry from when they were on hols, I dont think that is particularly out of the norm.

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 17/04/2013 09:01

I made it clear that I would not be clearing all the weekends plates etc only what I use for the kids.

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annh · 17/04/2013 08:54

It's really doesn't sound very satisfactory, you haven't managed to move any further forward on any of the issues. On the basis of "spending time with her children" you can therefore expect to come in every Monday to a heap of laundry and dishes.

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 17/04/2013 07:58

Re the laundry

She said she didn't have time and was more focussed on spending time with her children.

Re the dirty plates

The dishwasher broke and was repaired on Monday

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annh · 16/04/2013 21:48

Yes but is she going to speak to her mother or leave you to deal with grandmother when she turns up next week? You already knew that she agreed with you so it doesn't seem like you are much further forward tbh. What about the laundry pile?

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 18:30

Well here we go
Mb agreed with me about not letting him go and didn't say much about her demanding things

I told her that unless I was made fully aware she would not be taking the boys out of my care

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Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2013 17:18

why not arrange a day a week if that is what granny wants and she can have charges in the afternoon/whatever mb/granny/you agree

you will know what day and time she will pick up

does mb agree with her popping and demanding-what does mb say when you say no?

chipmonkey · 16/04/2013 16:56

The granny should be happy that you're taking your charge's care seriously. My youngest boys are at nursery and if either granny is to collect them, then they ask for her car reg number and I have to sign for it. You are only doing your job.

Floralnomad · 16/04/2013 16:51

Good luck with that they sound like a nightmare .

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 16:40

I'm looking for another job but can't afford to hand in my notice until I find another one

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Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2013 16:36

granny issues, leaving piles of washing, impertigo, cancelling working hours, why do you stay with this family?

i know jobs are rarer these days, but your family do seem to literally take the piss :(

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 16:35

I have addressed this and mum boss says I'd rather you didn't hand him over unless I say, but then ive been moaned at the following week for not letting him go

Am going to address the 2 weeks laundry as well,

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annh · 16/04/2013 16:11

You are having a lot of problems with this family, aren't you? This evening's conversation is going to be interesting. Are you going to speak to her about the two weeks of laundry she left for you?

WTFisABooyhoo · 16/04/2013 15:45

if this has been happening regularly why haven't you spoken to your boss and asked them what you should do?

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 15:39

Will update later

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InLoveWithDavidTennant · 16/04/2013 15:31

i think you did the right thing

am also interested to see if the dm knew anything about it Grin

CreatureRetorts · 16/04/2013 15:30

Bloody hell. I have a nanny and would say you did the right thing.

You need to speak to your boss about this. It's unacceptable.

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 15:28

Blondes - it's getting more & more frequent at least once a week then she plays it to try and make me guilty. Today I had oh ok but my best friend hasn't seen him in 3 weeks and I'm meeting her for coffee after I've done my shopping

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Blondeshavemorefun · 16/04/2013 15:14

tbh granny cant just pop round and demand she has her grandchild as you may have plans and as you said its your responsibility to have dc when parents arent here

different if mb says granny is coming at 1pm and you can finish early

maybe check with mb and see what she wants to happen next time granny 'pops'in

think i rem you saying about this before

DontmindifIdo · 16/04/2013 13:53

I think at pick up you need to say that you would like her to give you some official guidance on this, you dno't mind being 'bad cop' and saying no to the Grandmother, but if the mum would like you to give the DCs to the grandmother when she pops over you need to be told.

Original poster
SaveWaterDrinkMalibu · 16/04/2013 13:46

Grandmother quite often pops round and says she's taking them, she's yet to beat me.

Mum normally leaves a note or will text key info for the day, nothing today regarding grandmother taking charge out

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