Poorly child

All I want to add to the conversation is that I am glad that I don't mind for any of the posters who say they wouldn't want to pick up a child when the minder feels that the child should be at home with their mum/dad.
Thankfully all my parents know that I would only send home if it was for the wellbeing of the child.

Ling I think the age of the child is relevant. If a school age child was crying inconsolably and was too ill too participate in anything then I would expect them to be sent home because it's a sign something is very wrong. It's completely different with a 14 month old though. They cry, their babies, that's what they do. My youngest charge will be whingey and wanting cuddles all day when he has teeth coming through, it's not a reason to call his parents. If the 8 year old, was in tears all day it would be a completely different situation.

The Op said the child was crying continuously...not "grizzling". They are different things. And Samlamb some kids have Dads too....one parent...or another pre arranged adult could come and SHOULD come to collect an unwell child.

Why should the other children be with a sick child?

'And caring for a sick child is not about whether or not the CM is a trained first-aider'

It is in part. Of course you want to be there for your sick baby and he needs you for comfort, but on a medical level, if he did 'take a turn for the worse' and stopped breathing, for example, would you want him with you (assuming you don't know CPR) or with someone trained to administer CPR? I know what I'd choose.

you are absolutely right samlamb - i can't wait

Samlamb, I would expect most schools WOULD call actually if a child in their care was too ill to participate in anything and was crying in consolably.

"Do CMs give a refund when they send a DC home by the way?"

What, the CMs should be out of pocket for a child being ill?

To be frank, no one on here, except possibly the OP, has any idea what was wrong with the child. It might have been "just" a cold (although sometimes they can be severe and unpleasant), but the cold symptoms might also have been part of something altogether more serious.

And caring for a sick child is not about whether or not the CM is a trained first-aider. If my baby was ill, I'd want to care for him myself.

there are different types of cold - no one is suggesting a child be sent home with a sniffle. but schools/nurseries would send a child home that is full of cold and too ill to be in a childcare setting. who wants a sneezing/coughing/infectious child in a childcare setting with other children?
no one actually even knows this mother was at work - op says mum and dad are both full of cold - they could just have easily been at home ill themselves and still too busy to collect.

i've had a child brought to me extremely ill and with a high temp (didn't realise until she was through the door and by then mums phone was convienently switched off) and it turned out both mum and dad were at home that day!!

some people need to sort their priorities out, seriously!!

Perhaps giving up child care is for the best reet .ASAP.

Bloody hell thank god for the nannys of the world..demanding a working mother leave work to collect a child with a cold?? What the actual hell? School don't send kids home with a cold why should a cm? A cold!!??

I would of course come home if my DCs were actually ill but I don't count colds, grizzling, teething etc as illnesses.

very true AllDirections

I would have to take unpaid leave and would seriously hamper any prospects of career development

Sounds normal to me. A nanny is absolutely the way to go if you earn enough to pay for one. Most of us don't. My childminder is brilliant and her fees are very reasonable but I have to look after my own child if she is sick.

no, none that i know ceeveebee, as the cm is available to work...

Reet - I doubt very much that anyone equates work with gym/shopping/hair appointments.
If i dashed off from work every time my DCs had a minor illness I would have to take unpaid leave and would seriously hamper any prospects of career development. DHs job is equally demanding and we have no family within 3 hours drive. Thankfully we have a wonderful nanny and this thread helps confirm we made the right choice.

Do CMs give a refund when they send a DC home by the way?

blondes, i think you are a nanny,aren't you? we are different as childminders, we are self employed - we dictate our own terms - we don't have to look after sick children. if we feel the child is too ill to be with us we will insist on collection. a parent can not simply turn around and say 'sorry too busy' it doesn't work like that. if i got that answer, i would be delivering the child to the parent and delivering my notice to them at the same time...

Sorry x-post, that was to Blondes. Jassy, that's how i operate actually. I'd ring and have a chat and we'd work it out together. The idea that the OP shouldn't have been even bothering the parents with 'a cold' is one I don't agree with though.

this is the reason that we ask for more than one emergency contact - so that someone is available to collect.

it amazes me that people could be so pig headed about collecting their own child when ill! Your child is ill, you collect him/her, surely??

do people really rate their child's health/welfare below their work/shopping/gym/hair appointments??

No. I disagree. You can't legislate for everything and write a policy that covers every aspect of a child's behaviour. As parents we all know the difference when our children are a bit whingy and not quite right and when they're really unwell - your mum senses start tingling because the cry is different, their behaviour is different. It's not something that is easy to write down in a policy and ultimately comes down to trust. I don't make a habit of ringing the parents I work for so I would hope they'd trust me if I rang and said 'he/she really doesn't seem right today'.

What fives said. I use a nursery, not a CM, but they do a similar thing. They have clear exclusion policies (D&V, certain illnesses, fever unresolved after one dose of Calpol administered with parental permission).

They are also really clear about what they want me to do in any situation. Once, at around 15 mths, DS's lovely key person called me to say he wasn't really himself, teary and clingy and off his food. They were very clear that they didn't expect me to come and get him, that they were administering cuddles and stories and she would keep me in the loop. Which she did. I then left work early but not doing the classic dash-to-collect-ill-child. It was a really good example of how the partnership can work effectively.

From the OP, I'm not clear whether she actually asked the mother to collect, or just expected the mother to respond to the news that the child had a cold with an announcement that she'd drop everything and come home.

i asked earlier what the op's policy was for colds/under weather

she didnt reply

unless says in policy to collect your child if above then the cm needs to look after the child

by all means call the parents but sure in 99% cases they will say they are at work/in a meeting and cant leave now

totally different if sick or have a raging temp - but for a miserable child who has a cold and probably teething as well then the cm needs to look after them and not be annoyed if they call parents and they say they cant come and collect

this is why parents pay for childcare

I think the problem is that this kind of thing is very subjective -there's a thread on AIBU about school absence and there's a real divide in opinion on when a child is too ill to go to school.

I have permission to give calpol/nurofen if needed and would always try that option first. I would also ring and confer with the parent with something like this - ask them whether there was anything else they could think of that would normally comfort them. I would battle on with whinging/out of sorts children with colds...this child sounds worse than that though; non-stop crying and not eating or drinking in a child who is normally happy. I'd expect a parent to pick up - I'd expect them to feel they HAD to pick up without having it spelt out to be honest.

I used a CM (and still do use her during the holidays) exclusively from when dd was 5 months to 2.5 years and would have been shocked if she had called me to collect dd because she had a cold. Children get colds all the time. I agree that vomiting and a high temperature mean that the child should be collected, but not for a cold. Dd would never have been with the cm if that was the case.

I wouldn't keep a child off of school for a cold, I wouldn't stay off of work either and on the flip side of this, our cm would never tell us she couldn't take dd if she had a cold herself.

My childminder has phoned a few times to check about giving my DD calpol. It's either been just to tide her over till I got there or to see if she would improve enough to stay there. My childminder was always understanding if I couldn't get there straight away but if she had insisted then I would have left work immediately, but then I have a job where no-one will die if I leave, there just might be complaints which could lead to sanctions which could lead to loss of future contracts, etc. but I have to be a parent first and foremost.

I thought we'd killed it earlier when the OP and I agreed to disgaree, but apparently not!!