Maternity nurse issues

Seems so Blondes, some of the CV's parents I work with have had is shocking.

Same to for a nanny 1 family interviewed who said the following :
Babies don't need bottles after 4 yes 4 months of age.
That a routine is good but there is no need to wake a baby to feed it to stay on track.
Going out is great when they can walk.
The naughty step is more effective in nursery settings but children learn not to do something once they have sat on it for as long as it takes as more.
Art is ok when they are toddlers.

All opposite to what she told the agency and she had glowing praise for the baby that had slept thru the whole interview!!

seems there are a few unprofessional mn's scattered about :(

but glad you have found a new one who you are happy with :) x

Hi op. Glad you have found someone else, I'm sure you will have a better experience than with the last mn. Did the old mn's name begin with A by any chance? If I did we are talking about the same one!

Was she an older lady called Margaret ?

I took over from one that bullied the mum and made her feel inadequate :( at looking after her 8 wee prem twins last April

I really had to restore the mums confidence in the 12 weeks or so i was there - - which I did :)

Pro not the same - but this lady apparently dealt in prem twins .,,,,,,,,,

Your mn sounds just like the one I have taken over from. She was very controlling over the mother and did some very strange things which I would class as dangerous while looking after the twins. Did she work in the midlands before being with you?

Hi OP

You did the right thing, was not professional and dangerous.
Hope you get some one who meets your family's needs.
Agree with Nutella for a mother forgiveable for a paid maternity nurse, sacking offence.

Think it is a sacking offence. Baby could have died. For a mother it is highly regrettable but forgive able, for a paid professional no way.

She sounds terrible. No-one should be bullying a new mum of preemies, especially not someone whose role is to support her. You're well rid.

Will the agency support you in finding someone else? It would be pretty bad for their reputation if they didn't.

Take no notice of anyone else. Twins are exhausting and it will get better. Hope you get a better maternity nurse this time.

I'm sorry you had this experience with a MN. We are all not like that and the good ones offer help, support and advice leaving you well rested and ready look after the babies by yourself. Hopefully the agency has found you a more suitable MN or night nanny so you can get some rest.

Sounds like you are better off without her. A Mn should be there to offer support to you and advise you on feeding and routines etc - not to bully you :(

The twins I had in oct nov and dec were 9weeks prem - just under 2lbs when born :( so ickle

Strapping 8mth'ers now :)

Take as much help as you need. Hope the agency can find you another Mn - if not would you consider a night nanny to give you a break during the night?

I hope no one here is bullying you! It sounds like a tough time for you, did the agency find someone wonderful to replace her with?? Don't worry, you'll get through this and it will, before you know it, be a distant memory.

The OP MN has acted irresponsibly IMProfessionalOpinion, I have looked after twins x10 and triplets x2 and never fallen asleep holding them, I don't always have catch up sleep time but do often go to bed with the babies at 8pm ish and wake for the late feed.

That is awful. Very dangerous. I had twins there is no way I would let that situation continue. If she dropped the baby, it fell off bed, she rolled on it etc it doesn't bear thinking about. You need to find a different arrangement where carer isn't so exhausted they are falling asleep in these circumstances. Is there any point in you both waking up for dubsw feed? That means two people are shattered instead of one.

Sadly know can write a best selling book as each baby and parent (expectations) are different. I'm mostly follow the same ideas however they are easily adapted to suit the situation. And its more about giving the parents the confidence to meet the babies needs and making sure the babies are given a chance to sleep which is just as important as any other aspect of their care. The hardest clients I've worked for are the ones who've read every baby book and the market and don't trust their babies cues because they want to fit into which ever book they've chosen to follow. Nope, a book won't work but a realistic and supportive (after birth) group may and that's what I'm in the throes of designing.

Ditto mrs w

Though I only work nights I set a routine for the parents during the day which they follow and have looked after countless babies including twins - 4 sets of twins in last year and some still with one feed at night but most sleep 7-7 by 12 weeks

It is our job and what the parents pay us for

Well if you can get any 3 mo baby to sleep through the night without crying I suggest you write a book because you will become a millionnaire.

I've worked with at least 50 babies and by three months they have all settled themselves to sleep (no crying) and slept 12 hours, maybe with one feed. They have been a mix of breast, formula and combined fed. It is possible to set a rhythm of the day that enhances sleep for my clients and baby and that's what I do well. Not really anything to laugh at.

I hope the original poster makes a decision to suit here.

As mrswishywashy says by 12 weeks a good Mn who is doing her job ie being paid to get twins into a routine and sleeping through the night and yes learning to self settle

And yes Mn or night nannies do generally sleep in same room as babies and either feed formula or expressed milk via bottles or take to mum who feeds then Mn will settle / wind / change baby while mum goes back to sleep

Have you had a chat op?

Is she booked for much longer?

'At 3 months they should be mostly self settling and pretty much sleeping through the night'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I may question myself and ask if I have done enough to support my nurse to be well rested. I don't think she chose to fall asleep, more fatigue of 3months caring for your babies has caught up on her and not being well rested. I would possibly speak with her about this and how it can work more safely for your babies and both of you. How can you help facilitate this. Maybe its time she did only nights as your babies are 3months old. I agree with Seb101, fatigued mums do this all the time due to lack of sufficient respite. I think this is more the issue. You must have been happy with your nurse to have kept her on this long, personally I would keep this in perspective and think twice about firing her as a reflex.

I'm a maternity nurse and it is exhausting however I'm yet to fall asleep with a new born, if I was so exhausted that I couldn't stay awake and baby was unsettled then I would get a parent.

As a maternity nurse we are only on call for 24 hours, we do need break times of up to 3 consecutive hours every 24 in fact with twins I ask for four hours.

I would be concerned but I'd also look at the whole situation. What other help does she give? What are they sleeping like? At three months they should be mostly self settling and pretty much sleeping through the night. What experience does the MN have? If she is inexperienced then she is probably still learning how to pace herself. What does her contract say for gross misconduct? If I was in her situation my clients could let me go immediately with just paying what I had worked.

If you've lost trust in her, I would recommend you let her go as per her contract and if you got her through agency then let them know the reason.

It is extremely frustrating to hear a report of this as professional MN's would not let this happen.