Nanny - am I expecting too much ?

Set out for your nanny the after school routine you expect to be adhered to - in our case it is home, small fruit based snack, play, homework, dinner, tidy up time, bath - the kids are just finishing their bath when I get home. Our nanny has a 20 quid kitty a week for stuff with Ds2 he does one music class a week and they sometimes do outings to soft play or city farm. In the holidays I will arrange a couple of special outings for them (zoo, plays, etc) but not every day. She should be able and to stick a load of washing on and prep the evening meal while your toddler naps and have plenty of time for lunch and downtime too.

Its not the Nanny who needs to learn to put pen lids on.....

Seems that your children, even the toddler, have not been brought up to tidy their own stuff or plan their own holiday schedule, this is parenting no ?

I would definitely sit down with her and make it clear. It would seem to me to be reasonable for her to have fed children and tidies up before you got home. Putting washing on and sorting ironing for children should also be possible while children nap. I have never had a full time nanny but I have had a temp for odd days here and there and even then I was just amazed at how fab she was. Laundry had been done, kitchen was clean and tidy and dd was fed, clean and happy. Remember thinking how brilliant it would be to be able to afford a nanny as it would make working much less stressful. Focus on what are top priorities for you. For me it would be that kids were fed and clean, kitchen clean and tidy and washing under control. Uniform and lunch boxes laid out ready for next day. I would also expect her to spend much less on entertainment. Soft play, local parks and swimming are all cheap activities which should be easily available close to home. This should make up the vast majority of trips out. If your dc like animals or something in particular maybe buy some kind of family membership that can be used year round so there is always somewhere she can take them?

Have you told her that they aren't allowed to have snacks between school and 5pm? Maybe if they have told her that they are, and you haven't said differently, she thinks you are happy with the situation?

Yes, she should be doing everything that you would! Why isn't she cooking the tea? Have you asked her to? Have you asked the older ones what she actually does when they get in from school?
You should be coming back to a house of calm and things done. Not it all waiting to be done!

Realistically she needs to provide all meals for the children during the day, and clean up afterwards, wipe surfaces.
Clean up after herself/the children during the day, and tidy up before she finishes - when she leaves the house should be in the same state she found it in the morning.
I would say she needs to hoover/sweep/mop floors if they have made a mess on them (spilt paint, crumbs from lunch etc) but I wouldn't expect her to routinely do cleaning unless it is in her contract.

Other duties like children's laundry, ironing, cleaning bedrooms depends on whether they are in her contract.

I think you need to be clear about your expectations.
Your nanny is showing you a plan, so if you don't agree with it you need to tell her.
If you want her to spend £200 on activities or £500 or an unlimited amount you need to say, and if you would prefer different acitvitites you need to say so, surely?
If you want her to walk not drive then again you need to be clear.
I think a nanny should usually cook for her charges, keep the place tidy & wash and iron the clothes too but with 4 kids perhaps this is unrealistic - if so you should decide what gets left off.
So far it seems like you are being a very poor boss and it isn't possible to tell how much of the problem is simply down to this imo

I do symathise with you but communicate your expectations clearly before writing off your nanny would be my advice.

She doesn't sound great, but then you also don't sound like you have made the role and your expectations as clear as you could have done. Have a meeting with her, go through what you want and ask her if she is struggling.

Give her a list of everything you need her to have done by the end of the day (including having the children fed, everything ready for the next day) - put the nanny's name at the top of it.

Remind her of the duties that are in her contract (laundry, cleaning of children's rooms etc) - write them out and ask her to have them done by the end of each week, she can do them whatever days she wants when the toddler is napping.

Go through activities and finances - remind her of the £50 kitty, list some suggestions for activities at home/free things to do in the area. Put a limit on her mileage.

Is she still within a probation period? Maybe set another review meeting for the end of the probation period.

Then change it.

Tell her X is not what you expect, Y is what you want and does she feel she can do that. If not you are happy to part company.

6pm and they haven't had their tea??
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Just because she has put together a plan to do activities that cost £1000 does not mean you have to agree to it! I used to be a nanny and have done ages from 10 weeks to 11 years so have had no holidays to factor in in some jobs and school holidays with the children at home full time. I barely asked for extra money as I was conscious of how expensive I was and didn't want to add to the burden of child care costs. Sounds to me like she doesn't know how to entertain either at home or out without an activity. I used to go out 1-2 times a week for paid things and the rest of the time was friends over/trips to the park/playing at home.

Chores wise I varied in all jobs but overall I did cleaning of all rooms used by the child, their washing and ironing, tidying of their rooms, light shopping, cooking.

Sounds a bit shit!

It doesn't sound like she is trying to do all that stuff but the kids are hard work (I mean that in a nice way, sometimes with 4 kids things just don't go according to plan!) and it occasionally isn;t getting done, more that it is not even being attempted?

Is she spending too long trying to entertain them and not enough time doing STUFF around the place?

~Sorry, didn't realise you had 4 children. How old are they?

Again, didn't realise she had different days to the au pair, that makes it different. Yes she should be doing the 'common sense' roles, no one has ever had to tell me to empty a lunch box or put a swimming kit in the wash for example. I had assumed from the previous comment that she was working alongside the au pair and was choosing to do her own role rather than the au pair's, if that makes sense. But emptying a lunch box should be just part of the daily routine if working sole charge! That's definitely not asking too much.

£50 a week is an immense amount of money! I get £10 if the parents remember, that's for 2 children one of whom is at home all day, the other does half days. I budget very carefully. That's for a 3 day role.

when I say schedule, I mean just the daily routine- In mine, due to activities, tea is at a certain time, due to the time MB gets home bathtime must follow tea immediately. I personally wouldn't want to work to a set schedule. I just mean- if pick up of child A, time to feed child B, etc etc leaves not much time to tidy it could be looked at. But if your children are older, they should be tidying. It'll be the nanny's role to get them to tidy, to encourage them to clean up after themselves.

If she isn't cleaning out a lunch box, maybe she forgot or didn't have time etc. It's something to be addressed but not immense. However- not cooking? No. that's something that is potentially leading to warnings, dismissal, it's that serious. I'm not a brilliant cook but my kids eat cooked food every day, I batch cook and freeze, I meal plan as I go.

She should be getting them to tidy up after themselves, I don't see why she isn't able to cook, the older ones could play by themselves whilst she prepared a meal with toddler in kitchen. The older ones could even help prepare a meal.