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Original poster

AIBU to ask my childminder to have the TV on less?

32 replies

kawaii123 · 11/12/2012 12:41

My DS (just 1) goes to an absolutely wonderful child minder who I adore. She started off with just him and they did so many different things every day and he has bonded with her amazingly. She has since taken on two other children (one of which is only there two days a week). And now the TV seems to be on all the time. They have their lunch in front of the TV which has caused a couple of problems with eating at home and their afternoon snack. And when I come to collect the TV is on.

Don't get me wrong I totally understand that she has an incredibly hard job and sometimes she needs to whack the TV on so she can get something sorted or they just won't calm down etc. I don't think TV is evil or anything nor do I expect her to be constantly teaching my son, doing every wholesome activity under the sun etc.

We don't really watch TV at home but more out of habit because we never had it when we moved in and so I didn't have it during maternity leave etc. Now my DS gets the remote and points it at the TV etc

So would I be unreasonable to ask her to reduce the amount of TV they watch? Or should I just think, it's her home and it isn't my place to judge what she does in her own home? I know her daughter and husband are very keen on television and am not sure her daughter would be OK with not having the TV on when she is home from school.

I don't want to rock the boat because I do think she is lovely and fab but I would rather he didn't watch quite so much telly. He also gone gotten really difficult at mealtimes which I wonder might be to do with the watching telly. After a terrible afternoon and no eating I let him eat in front of the TV and he ate every last mouthful (a bit creepy staring blankly and just opening his mouth for food! Smile )

Would love any advice from mums or childminders re experiences.

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lechatnoir · 11/12/2012 18:49

Another cm who might allow very occasional tv after lunch if we've had a busy morning or if I have any schoolies staying late, but tv at meal & snack times is a definite no as is daily watching. If her DH & DC want to watch it then she has to make adequate provisions for your DS if for no other reason than I assume they're not watching Cbeebies!!

RosieGirl · 11/12/2012 18:35

Literally say "I am having awful problems getting DS to eat his dinner unless the TV is on, do you mind making sure it isn't on during times like this I would appreciate it".

If she seems taken aback or doesn't react very positively, ask her if she has a TV policy or is willing to make one, as if she is quite new doing the job she may not have even thought about it very much.

I am a CM and agree with the others, it shouldn't really be on during the day. The after schoolies sometimes have it on for a while, but unless I am really frazzled it doesn't go on in the day.

Original poster
kawaii123 · 11/12/2012 14:33

Thanks the advice is really appreciated. Does anyone have any tips on how I broach it with her without sounding judgemental? I don't want to sound like I am telling her off.

OP posts:
SamSmalaidh · 11/12/2012 14:05

I think you would be fine to ask if she could not have the TV on during mealtimes, especially if it is causing problems at home. But I wouldn't worry about it being on for her daughter after school, especially if you don't have it on at all at home.

OutragedFromLeeds · 11/12/2012 13:12

I really don't like TV on at snack and mealtimes. I would def say something to her about that. I think if she is out and about with them in the morning, then having it on for a little while in the afternoon is ok, particularly if she has older children/her own DD who want to watch it.

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 11/12/2012 13:00

My CM doesnt have a TV in the room she cms from. There is a separate lounge which her dh and dcs can go into if they want to watch tv but the mindees dont go in there (nor does she).

I would be unhappy with a CM using tv as a babysitter as I dont do it myself - I would be very cross at it being on at mealtimes.

botandhothered · 11/12/2012 12:57

She very clearly is not a wonderful childminder. She is getting him into terrible habits. I am shocked that any childcarer would allow TV on during meal times.
I have nannied for many years, and the children I have cared for have had maximum of half an hour Tv during the day. At just a year old you need to think about the detrimental effect this could have on his language development.
Incidentally, you are paying her to do wholesome activities and teach your son. That is what she should be doing, not using the TV as a babytsitter.