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Original poster

Is my aupair lazy or is it me !!

56 replies

Newtothisstuff · 09/12/2012 19:29

I'm currently on week 3 of a trial before our aupair starts properly in January (when I go back to work)
She is turning into the complete opposite of what she assured us she was.
She said she was a confident driver (the main part of her job is to do the school run) she has only driven once and that was around the housing area we live an refused to go on the main road, even with my husband instructing.
She hasn't got out of bed until 8.30 every morning and doesn't get dressed until 11.00 I've tried dropping hints that I have to leave at 7.30am when I'm back at work and that she should come on the school run but she says its too cold.
She's also so untidy. She doesn't do the tiny bit of cleaning that was expected (emptying dishwasher, loading washer/dryer), that's not too much of a big deal tbh but I don't want to have to clean up after her constantly like I am doing. I have 2 kids and have enough cleaning up after them !!
She also keeps disappearing out with her friends, during the day, she will have some time off during the week as my DH works shifts but maybe only 1-2 days plus evenings and weekends, so far out of the 2 weeks she's been here, she's probably disappeared 10 of the 14 days.
Am I being totally out of order expecting her to at least follow the schedule a little bit even tho I'm not back at work yet ??

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MousyMouse · 09/12/2012 19:45

is she from another country?
ime other languages are much directer than polite english.

you need to tell her directly in clear language what you expect. hold off and should/would/could = too indirect and confusing.

it is much easier to say 'no' if asked 'could you unload the dishwasher please?'
'please unload the dishwasher (now)' is much better phrased.

fraktion · 09/12/2012 19:45

Also I'm a bit confused about the hours. £80 is standard for about 5 hours/day so that's 7.30 til 9.30ish and 3.30 til 6.30ish. The rest of the day should be free unless you guarantee a 4 day week and add 5 hours cleaning. She shouldn't be working all day for that wage.

fraktion · 09/12/2012 19:42

You have to learn to manage her.

Tell her that you want get to come on the school run. Tell her that there will be a couple of trial days this week where she does it and you tag along. Create a list and ask her to make sure she completes them.

Popping out with her friends is fine but start holding her to the hours. She's had a bit of time to settle, which is all well and good, but at the moment it's a bit of a holiday and she risks an almighty shock when it starts for real.

ContinentalKat · 09/12/2012 19:40

Having been an au pair myself a century ago I would sit her down ASAP and tell her what your expectations are. You will trust this girl with your children's lives, and if she is not up for it you will have to look for a replacement quickly!

Spero · 09/12/2012 19:35

Stop 'dropping hints' and tell her clearly what you expect from her. You can't expect hinting/mind reading to work.

You are unreasonable expecting her to follow a schedule if you haven't discussed it with her.

The driving is a worry however. again, don't tip toe round it, say explicitly that you are worried she is not up to the driving and suggest some ways to change that.

If someone won't do what you have very clearly asked them to do then at least you know they are taking the piss and you deal accordingly. But if someone doesn't do what you are 'hoping' they will do, that way madness lies - in any type of relationship.

Original poster
Newtothisstuff · 09/12/2012 19:30

What I didn't mention is she offered to come for the 3 weeks to get used to the kids routine and she's being paid £80 a week whilst she's here !!

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