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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Anybody out there use DM for childcare? Advice please.

27 replies

andapartridgeinaRowantree · 07/12/2012 00:37

Hi. I'm going back to work part time when DD is six months and then full time at nine months and I'm lucky enough that this coincides with my Mum-a teacher-retirement.

Just wondering if anyone has any advice about the benefits and pitfalls of care by a parent. What did you arrange in terms of money,for example? Mam says she won't take anything but I don't want her to be out of pocket!

Any other things we should think about discussing beforehand? Any probles you've faced and wish you'd discussed a plan of action beforehand?

Thanks so much!

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Tanith · 07/12/2012 07:19

The main pitfall that arose for us when DS was a baby, and has come up repeatedly in parents who've turned to our childminding service in desperation, was reliability.

MIL was also a retired teacher and you'd think she'd have understood: not a bit of it!

Your DM needs to be to clear that she simply can't take time off as and when she feels like it because you are relying on her. That often causes resentment on both sides, with Granny feeling that, now she's retired, she should be able to go on holiday at the drop of a hat, and the parents having to cover her absence often at the last minute.

My DM was not like this: she was a cleaner, happily dropped her job to look after my sister's kids, and never once let them down.
I hope your own DM will be the same, but you might be wise to have a Plan 2 in reserve, just in case.

Pinotgrigioplease · 07/12/2012 00:54

I have no advice as such as I don't go back to work until Monday but my DM will be doing 2 days childcare for us so I have wondered about the same things.

Re: money we will not be paying her but will pay for all groups/activities that DS attends with her. We will also leave money in the house in case she needs to buy anything. She probably won't use it but at least we will have tried!

In terms of routine we have tried to make her see that for the 2 days she is primary carer and not Grandmother. ie no chocolate!

Hope all goes well when you return to work