Nannies - when out with children at a softplay or somewhere with cafe do you pay for you drink or take it out the kitty?

Plenty of businesses who have employees that go out for meals have it put on expenses. My bosses have business lunches often they arent picking up the bill. This is our equivalent if we are taking kids out for lunch or for a drink then our drinks and meals get paid too.

Parents pay for everything. Parking. Entrances. Food and drink costs

Can I have some advise please I started working as a registered nanny for a nurse last September due to cold weather and dark nights and alot of evening shifts I haven't needed to take the children out and they haven't wanted to they've been happy enough staying home playing outside with friends and playing games with me and other games they already have. However with it becoming warmer and the holidays I have said from day one of starting I am happy to take the two (6 years old and 8) to museums, bowling, cinema, parks etc. However this was recently brought up and the parent said I could get paid back this via tax which wouldnt be while a year later on a tax return and i doubt daily outings can be given back, I have said no to this due to working for an Income and not funding the children for a year out of my wages. Are parents meant to pay for their own children outings and even my costs as I am working? Just need some advise with me being new to this. Plus the mum already gets 80 percent back for childcare costs so doesn't pay my full wages out of her own wages.

'Don't understand those of you who pay for stuff yourself then reimbursed from parents - why do it this why?'

because it's what works best for us

'you may forget to write down something'

Always possible, I'm pretty organised so it's only ever going to be the odd thing, not really a problem.

'Two - I personally can't afford to pay for kitty costs out of my salary once bills etc have been paid (things like sains petrol hair cuts music lesson etc)'

Luckily I can. It's only really a matter of £200 or so, refunded at the end of the month and then pays for the next month etc.

'Is it not easier to have a kitty purse and just use that'

For me, no. I find with a kitty purse that I forget to take it or they forget to put money in it. If I'm doing some shopping for them I'll often do mine as well, then rather than paying with two different purses and getting two lots of change and getting all mixed up, I just pay for it all and then use the receipt to charge their stuff to them.

'And what could happen in one extreme case - years ago a nanny I know used her credit card and got it paid each month - handed in notice and parents were very annoyed and basically made her 6 weeks notice hell and parents refused to pay the last month bill that came a month after she left - she got stuck with it'

This is obviously a possibility. The thing is though trust is a two way street. They trust me with the lives, safety and happiness of their 4 small DC, they trust me in their home, they trust me with their money (no receipts/proof ever asked for). I think I should trust them to reimburse me £200. If they gave me a £200 kitty at the start of the month or a credit card to use, would you think this is ok? So ok for them to take a chance on me, but silly for me to take a chance on them?!

Ultimately it's what works best for us.

I haven't worked as a nanny for a while, but when I did generally I would take money out of the kitty if I was doing something with the kids. So if the kids had a drink then mine was paid for me. If I wanted to stop and get a drink on the way to the playground and they weren't getting one (perhaps I had packed one for them) then I would usually pay. I usually got lunch paid for me, but I didn't often go out for lunch unless we were doing it with friends. I usually packed a lunch for outings.

I guess with the health club, it would be down to whether the parent actually thought their kid benefitted from it or whether they would be just as happy paying for a regular public pool. I might say something like "would you mind giving me the money I would have spent at XYZ pool today to put towards my gym membership?"

Nanny jobs where I haven't had perks like meals I have expected (and got) a higher salary. Many families feel it is more cost effective to pay for the food than a higher salary.

I think if the nanny isn't taking advantage and going out spending money all the time and expecting her boss to pick up a daily starbucks tab then I think it is fair enough to expect to not to spend her own money on a trip that is for the kids.

I think the difference with an employer paying for a nanny's lunch and a non-nanny employee's lunch is that the purpose of the lunch is work for a nanny. When DH has a working lunch his employer pays for the food. When a nanny takes a charge to lunch she is actively working and enriching the child's environment. It is a big benefit for families to have their child eat out from time to time.

nannynick - if I were your employer, then I would feel a moral duty to contribute to your health club membership in that situation - I would much prefer my very young child to go swimming in a private club pool than a council pool and would be very happy that my nanny were able and willing to take him/her!

I will add my employer only provides lunch if we're on a full day trainin course off site. In the office, we get breaks and sort ourselves out.

So if my nanny takes the kids out for lunch, then I will pay for hers too. I will also pay for a coffee if she's drinking with the kids. I'm not talking about buying stuff willy nilly.

I work in the public sector too.

And I get meal breaks - my chargeable hours are 7 hours a day, my contractual hours are 8 (I actually work longer).

Your nanny does a different job to you, she is "working" non stop.
So yes I think it takes the piss not to provide food/drinks.

claudedebussy I agree, it's my gym membership not my bosses, I don't feel that it is reasonable for my boss to pay for my exercise classes and other things I do at the club. May be different if my boss was a member of the club and I was a nanny on her membership (which I think is the situation for Callaird). It's my choice to go to the health club swimming pool, rather than the council pool next door (which is not bad, but is more a leisure pool with flumes, squirting things etc.)

I personally think that being careful and considerate with money (yours or employers) is not a bad thing.

I agree, before spending money some thought needs to be put in to what it's being spent on.

Every employer is different, I've had (non-nanny) jobs in the past where the employer only provided vending machines (at a reasonable cost, so not overly profit making), an employer who provided free tea/coffee/hot chocolate, an employer (public sector) who didn't provide anything apart from use of a small kitchen with a kettle and fridge in it - each Team then did their own coffee/tea/biscuit/milk fund, so weekly subs to pay for the supplies.

One thing about all 3 of those employers was that as the employee I could leave the building and walk to somewhere that sold sandwiches. I got a lunch break.
As a nanny working in a small village, there is no where for sandwiches and I don't get a lunch break. I can work a 12 hour shift and have no break at all. Other times I may start later and thus be able to have lunch at home but then get evening meal (with the children) at work.

What works for one employer:employee relationship may not work for another. The parent:nanny relationship is employer:employee but it's not like other jobs where if the relationship breaks down you have other people to take over some of the work. So keeping nanny happy is what I suspect many employers do, providing meals and an activities budget may be helping to keep the employee happy, saving the childcare arrangement from breaking down.

Bonsoir I think that I am partly benefiting from the swimming trip as well. We could choose to go to the council pool but it's not as quiet. We like being the only people in the pool, or sometimes we are two out of 4 or worse 6 people (that was a very busy morning for the babypool). Thanks for replying though, I wondered if any parents would think that, though personally I'm happy with the situation we currently have whereby I get a weekly budget and can spend it without restrictions.

i would expect coffee to come out of the kitty.

nannynick, i'd hope that you'd pay for your own gym membership, but i'd pay the £5 for my child and buy your and dc's lunch / snacks. and i'd be very grateful that you're taking them swimming at your gym!

well 2plus1, really it depends on the contract doesn't it. If meals etc provided or not. Regardless of eco climate...

Iggly - when I say "I don't necessarily see why this money needs to be spent particularly in this financial climate" I am not taking the pi55 I am genuiniely putting a point across. For example, I work in a public sector with working hours of 0730-2030 and I don't get meal breaks provided. This is a major employer in the UK and they do not provide luches or tea/coffee, you bring your own in and grab it when you can. Likewise hubby works for a different major UK employer and they have stopped all tea/coffee provision sometime ago to cut costs in this financial climate. It is a real consideration these days.
I do employ a nanny who brings her meals in or does sometimes eat what she has cooked for the children. If she stays overnight she can eat from the house; breakfast, lunch and dinner, generally what the children are eating as it is all homecooked healthy meals etc. We do have a kitty which is there to cover childrens outings etc, so a set amount for the month. If she uses this on coffee there will be less for entrance fees so she needs to budget. We do have three young beans who need interaction with us or our nanny when out which she does extremely well, so no we don't get time for coffee. We do provide an annual pass (with parking) for free access to parks, farms but her choice not to use it, so I don't feel I should have to pay more for the kitty to go elsewhere with lunch etc. I personally think that being careful and considerate with money (yours or employers) is not a bad thing.

Marshmallow explains it well :)

'Callaird' let's hope you never fall out with your boss 's like my friend did ...... And yes like you I have that I'm allowed meals and drinks in my contract as again have had friends work 7-7 and the parents begrudge the nanny having breakfast there

I could get up at eat breakfast at 6am and go to work as then be hungry at 8/9am

Plus sitting with children while they are eatin their meals - showing table manners and talking about the day is good :)

Oh! And I have done this for 25 years. I have never ever had an employer tell me that they wouldn't pay it! Most never even look at it or check receipts, just pay the amount that I say is owed!

It is also in my contract that the employer will cover any expenses incurred during work so I would take them to small claims if they didn't pay it!

I keep a book and write when they pay me at the bottom so that the tax man can see that it is expenses not undeclared over time. And I also have proof of how much I spend each month so that the court could see that they actually owe me!

blondes Hey!! I put everything I buy for them on my M&S credit card, I generally spend +£600 a month. They pay me back at the end of the month without fail.

Every three months I get roughly £50 of money off vouchers for M&S. I get to buy nice food! If I forget the odd coffee or juice then I don't really mind.

I do carry the kitty book around with me and put things in as I spend. Including receipts. I don't often forget!

nannynick - I would expect your employers to be at least contributing to your health club membership if you are regularly taking a child in your care there and he/she (not you) is the beneficiary of the outing.

2plus1, do you have a nanny?

Our nanny brings her lunch in - but that's only because she gets up to two hours when both DCs nap from 1. So a built in lunch break.

In my lunch break, I don't have to work (I'm in an office) so I don't expect it to be provided. If I work over lunch - it is my choice unless I'm on a training course or meeting, in which case we get lunch.

When my DCs stop napping or she takes them out over lunch, so is still working, then I provide lunch or money for her lunch.

Citing current economic circumstances is not a reason to take the piss.

Some jobs meals are provided, some they aren't.

As an employee I get tea/coffee and if I'm required to have a meeting during lunchtime my employer will pay for lunch. My nanny is always on duty during lunch so I pay for her meal. I guess if a nanny was looking after a purée or milk-fed baby then she might bring her own packed lunch in, but generally speaking lunch is part of the package and that goes for meals out too.

2plus1- it's in my contract that meals and snacks are included. It's not so easy to pop to the shops/cafe to get breakfast/lunch/tea when you have children to care for and generally do not work in town.

I work 6:15-7pm, it's enough to get myself out of the house in the morning without having to gather ingredients or prepare my meals for the day!

Being a nanny is completely different from any other profession, we do not get coffee or lunch breaks, yes, I have two hours where my charge sleeps in the afternoon, but by the time I have tidied up lunch things, prepared tea, sorted out washing and ironing and batch cooked for the freezer I generally have about 20 minutes to sit down, have my lunch and relax, I cannot pop out to get my lunch so I eat from their fridge/cupboard. My charge has a cooked tea and I usually eat tea with her because eating at 7:30-8pm is too late for me.

I would never work for a family who didn't provide food for me. I don't take the piss, I eat what my charge eats, I don't expect smoked salmon and caviar and if I did fancy that then of course I would buy that myself.

2plus1- if I worked in a shop or office, I would take my lunch with me and there would be tea or coffee facilities. As a nanny, we have our meals provided for us, that's how it's been for my 20 years of nannying. If I'm asked to take the kids out for lunch, then we get lunch too. Depending where we are, we might take a packed lunch but you can't do this everywhere. I also find that my bosses appreciate me taking kids to lunch/coffee shops because the kids then have an idea of how to act in these places and therefore behave well when they go for lunch/coffee with their parents. As for us not having a coffee at soft play, if the kids have a drink, I have a drink! You can't take your own stuff into the play area. It's nice to go and play with the kids when we're at soft play but my charges are now old enough to go play on their own and they want to go running around with their new friends - while heavily supervised from the edge by me!

I tell our nanny to use the kitty for stuff like that. She wouldn't be buying otherwise.

I find this thread very interesting regarding use of kitty money for food and drinks etc for the nanny to use. In most other employment sectors it is the employees responsibility and financial cost to provide their meals for their working day. If the employee is out and about it is their wages that pay for their coffees and lunches/meals. It is only usually if an employee is sent away on a course that they are given a meal allowance for each day. Obviously I understand that the nanny has her entrance fee paid for in order to take the children out, but do you need a coffee paid for by your employer while at soft play? As a parent I am usually too busy with my three to sit down for a coffee. I also would arrange to take my three to such activities prior to or after their meal at home, taking a snack and their drinks with me. I don't necessarily see why this money needs to be spent particularly in this financial climate.

Don't understand those of you who pay for stuff yourself then reimbursed from parents - why do it this why?

One you may forget to write down something

Two - I personally can't afford to pay for kitty costs out of my salary once bills etc have been paid (things like sains petrol hair cuts music lesson etc)

Is it not easier to have a kitty purse and just use that

And what could happen in one extreme case - years ago a nanny I know used her credit card and got it paid each month - handed in notice and parents were very annoyed and basically made her 6 weeks notice hell and parents refused to pay the last month bill that came a month after she left - she got stuck with it :(

My employers pay for any costs incurred as a result of work, including a drink/meal out.

If, for example, we go for lunch somewhere they have sandwiches for £3, but I want a hot option that costs £8, I'll put the extra £5 in myself.

We use the same system as Callaird, no kitty, I pay for everything and they reimburse me at the end of the month (or sometimes sooner if expenses have been very high).