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Original poster

If you heard a childs parent say

34 replies

DoISay · 23/11/2012 09:14

something upsetting to the child.

Context

Child "I hate you"
Parent "Well if you hate me then I wont be here when you finish school"

Parent later jokes about it to me and says maybe it'll teach child a lesson as they are actually going away for the weekend and the child doesn't know.

:(

Would you tell the parent (one of your parents) that it was unacceptable or just deal with the tears and upset later on from the child and not say a word?

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ProcrastinatingPanda · 23/11/2012 09:59

That's quite sad, the poor child. I'd maybe mention it to the parent how upset the child was.

DS tells me he hates me sometimes, I reply with "well you can't stop me from loving you, and you're stuck with me until you're 16."

looneytune · 23/11/2012 09:58

Oh that's just awful, poor child :( I had my first 'I hate you' from my 9 year old a few months ago as he stomped up the stairs. I gave him time then sat on the end of his bed calmly asking if he meant it and when he said no I asked why he thought he said it and it was just he was a bit emotional and it came out, we chatted and hugged and all was fine after. When my 4 year old has not got his own way and said 'I don't love you' I've always replied 'well I love you, I don't always like your behaviour but I'll always love you'. What she said it's cruel WITHOUT her actually going away but as she is, I'm shocked! I agree you should say something so she's aware that's not on!

3littlefrogs · 23/11/2012 09:56

They sound really horrible. That is an awful way to treat a child.

This makes me so sad, no wonder we have so many screwed up kids, with parents who have so little insight and ability to actually parent.

IAmSoFuckingRock · 23/11/2012 09:55

that's very cruel to tell a child that, especially knowing that you wont be there later!

i think i would have to tell the parent if the child was upset by it.

Original poster
DoISay · 23/11/2012 09:54

Parent works away a lot and is about to be away 5 days out of 7 for the next 3 months - so think maybe I should say something as it is an unpredictable atmosphere for child - they cope but if mum is saying this...

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Original poster
DoISay · 23/11/2012 09:52

I mean she has said the I won't come back then when child has been naughty in the morning etc.

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CanIHaveAPetGiraffePlease · 23/11/2012 09:52

That's the sort of thing my parents did. I was quite screwed up!

Original poster
DoISay · 23/11/2012 09:52

I don't mean unacceptable more that it really does cause issues - it has been said before.

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McLurkin · 23/11/2012 09:32

Omg that makes me feel sad.

I'm not a cm, but I wonder if you can say something like "I just wanted to let you know how upset x was when you said that to him the other day. In my experience children say I hate you when they're scared or upset and what I do is tell them how sad I am that they feel like that but that I still love them." or something that you would do, to gently plant an idea in their heads rather than get them on the defensive by telling them its unacceptable.