Funeral charges

There used to be parental leave available for 26 weeks, and emergency leave designed for exactly this kind of situation.
Of course, it is unpaid.

Has it been abolished now?

Very sorry to read of the circumstances on this thread xx

Like we said upthread.. for many of us there is plenty of leave left but no option to take it at short notice unless a serious emergency.

Effectively childminding doesn't really work for me unless the c/m was flexible and able to work with this knowledge. Instead, I have a nanny/mothers help based around home just for my own child for this very reason.

A variety of views as would be expected. As a childminder, I do not charge if service is not provided for whatever reason - I do not have paid leave for me in my contracts. However, I think it is very shortsighted of a parent to not keep back one or two days leave for unexpected situations (such as this) - what if they had a similar situation in their own lives, what would they do then?? Very many employers allow a small amount of leave to be carried forward into the next year - perhaps two days - I know my husband always does this so we have a bit of fallback in case the unexpected happens.

In summary, the parent should not pay when service is not available in this case, as the notice period for leave could not be applied but the parent has a duty to ensure they have some leave available even right up to the end of their leave year to cover for any eventualities.

But the parent has no leave left = they don't have flexibility to be without that childcare.

If you were my CM, I'd have to take a day of emergency unpaid leave myself, & it would be a 'black mark' against me - so I'd have to lose money, run round setting work/organising cover & be aware the whole time that my boss was muttering about it.

& I definitely wouldn't be allowed leave (paid OR unpaid) myself for a funeral other than that of a close family member.

So I can imagine being a bit boot-faced if my CM put me in that situation!

Sorry - that sounds really unsympathetic. Just - she obviously doesn't grasp how important this funeral is to you, & you obviously don't grasp that you are rather dropping her in it...the two of you have your wires crossed!

Can you explain to her how important it is? & I definitely don't think you should charge her for the hours...unless you can agree to take the day as leave.

sorry to hear about a person close to you passing away and yes no-one gets notice for that happening/funeral times

With regards to parent texting what she did - it may be seen as unprofessional that you just text to take time off at short notice (unless you normally communicate this way for leave) and what she replied may not have been meant in the context you are taking it - I to would want to know if I am paying for the time etc etc

Yes she has used all her leave but her leave may run Jan-dec and yours april-april (or her partners runs a different way), my husband and I have different systems at work so although he has used all his leave his starts again in Jan whereas mine runs til april.

However when you chose a cm for childcare you know you will have to cover their holidays, sickness, their childrens contagious sickness time and if you had gone sick this week she would have just had to cover - but perhaps could have had unpaid carers leave for sickness eventuality.

I suppose perhaps if this had been a face to face conversation some of the upset would have been removed in that you would have explained self she prob would have asked in a nice way whether you will still be charging for that time/knew anyone could cover.

wanting to tell a parent to get stuffed is not professional and she has every right to ask the question in the same way you have every right to go to the funeral but as not a close relative any business would say take as unpaid leave although as you are self employed you can put what you like in contract and maybe for future contracts these situations need writing in,

I have to ask, why do you use so many ellipses? It makes it quite hard to follow what you're saying as it's very distracting.

maybe she has booked leave for when you have two weeks leave... thats six days as you work 3 days per week, presuming you have told her when your leave is.
I don't think your attitude towards her is very nice though.. maybe you should both move on?
I wouldn't want to have someone looking after my child I didn't get along with.

Oops posted.

Was going to say that it might be a good opportunity to remind her that although you're off and not charging this time you do still have paid time off (as detailed in your contract?) to take this year.

Most CMs circulate details in advance of when they'll be off to prevent parents getting into this situation.

It must be so hard being a CM and balancing funerals :( they're always short notice, parents are relying on you and you can't ask a colleague to cover easily the same way you can in an office.

Perhaps she's booked time at Christmas when you're going to be off?

I have plenty of days leave but I wouldn't be allowed to take them until going thru a lenghty process well in advance

oh so you weren't going to charge, its just that she said she wouldn't pay before you told her, I see.
I don't think you should expect payment but I do think you should offer a back up plan, after all not everyone is allowed time off unless it is serious emergency.

It's not the money, is it OP?
If she'd said she was sorry for your loss or expressed an atom of sympathy but she didn't. She came straight back with a quibble about money.

My parents and all the employers that people have posted about were sympathetic. She was not and that's what's so hurtful, isn't it?
I can understand completely.

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a minded child.
Some parents kindly took the day off so I could attend. I will not charge them.
Some parents couldn't find alternative care. I took their children and arranged for another childminder to cover while I was at the funeral.

I had three funerals in 3 months, including a minded child's parent. All of my families were quite happy for me to take the day off and yes I was paid, but my colleagues all stepped in and looked after my minded children, do you not have any fellow childminders who would do so, you are supposed to have a back up minder, I am sure you could return the favour sometime?

I don't think you should charge any of the parents for the time that you are not offering. I totally get that you need to go, but they are buying a service that they won't be getting and may have limited other options for childcare.

I think there's lots of factors at play here. I was in a very similar position last year with my employer, and negotiated as best I could, and got time off as holiday in the end BUT I knew that I might not be able to attend and would have had to deal with that. Did you explain that you needed the time off for a funeral in your message?

Your parents are paying for reliable childcare, I think given the length of notice you are giving you really need to compromise and agree a reduction in fees for the leave you want to take. If you later want to tighten up your fees structure then that is of course your choice, but I think all the best employment relationships are based on give and take on both sides, and recognising when this is appropriate. I think given the very short notice and non-negociable nature of the time off you are wanting, you might need to suck up the lack of pay.

As callous as it might sound, it probably would have been a different matter if it had been a close relative of yours (FWIW I took unpaid leave from an employer a few years ago to attend and help co-ordinate guests at my best friends funeral, my employers hands, while sympathetic were tied as to what they could offer me).

If a CM or a nursery informed me at short notice they couldn't provide the service I paid for and I would need to make alternative arrangements, I would have sympathy for their loss but I would expect them not to charge me.

Maybe if it was your own mum or a close relative people would be more sensitive? Being let down for childcare at the last minute is very disruptive. Many people in other jobs wouldn't be able to take leave at short notice for the funeral of a friend's relative. The parent isn't doing anything wrong in not wanting to pay for childcare hours she will not be getting.

sorry, is the funeral tomorrow?
Sorry to hear about your friends mum.
I think when you work you rely on childcare and can't just take leave, paid or unpaid, at short notice. If this happened to me I would be very stuck and have no alternative, I wouldn't be able to get leave for childcare only for illness or emergency.
As for the payment, she shouldn't pay if you are not working. Maybe this was just her way of expressing her irritation at you letting her down, or that she was stressed.

You may have leave but do you have a minimum notice period for that?

It's not your fault this mother has used her allowance but she may have worked it out so she took her remaining leave over Christmas or something and not budgeted for this so late in the year.

Can you offer her a replacement? Do you know any CMs who could take a mindee for the afternoon on short notice?