Funeral charges

And pumpkincarving how awful I'm so sorry

I charge for my 4 weeks annual leave but this is arranged WELL in advance so parents can coordinate their holiday with mine if they wish but I don't charge for emergency /last minute closure. It's obviously very sad that you have to attend a funeral & I'm sorry for the loss but ultimately the parent/CM relationship is a business partnership & my first reaction would also have been 'oh bugger I cant get the time off work so I'd better check she's not still charging me before I arrange alternate care'

Didn't want to leave this unanswered. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, MaNa1 xx

Poppiesmom. I do hope you had the full day off? This is why when ever I read this site and it's not that often . It upsets me . I was Childminding when my poor Mum had a stroke while I was reading to the little one's .This was year's ago now, back then we could have (visitor's) . and before you all say ," how traumatic for the little one's", she took herself into another room knowing she felt ill , I've never forgotten the look on her face as she had to go in the ambulance alone. I could'nt just walk away from my little ones .She never came home .

Yes, from a parents perspective I am actually incredibly grateful for my childcare and to do it well requires a lot of care and effort so huge thanks to all of you who are childminders and nannies it really is a vocation and should be better paid x

I feel very sad for you, and know exactly how you feel. I think things like this are making me feel more despondent about my career. After 10 years as a childminder, bending over backwards helping families through bereavement, miscarriages, family issues, swaping when I can, doing extra hours, picking up when family have let them down... etc ect. I have NEVER had a day off sick, just battled through coughs and colds and my problems with migraines. I had to take 2 days off last year for my DH's fathers and uncles funerals, I have only had off 3 weeks this year so far. BUT I have been having some gynelogical issues and now need an MRI scan, and some hospital appointments, you would think I am asking for the earth. Nothing out rightly is said, but there is the "oh, well, I will try to get the time, but it is short notice". My health is getting poor and I am sick of not feeling I can have a break without feeling guilty. My DH says its my fault I shouldn't be so nice.

Isn't it good to know that I shouldn't be caring in a caring profession.

Hi poppies that sounds more critical than I meant it to, was just trying to get you to see the other point of view as I'm not sure you have but you know, maybe there are other irritations or history with this parent that I don't know about and I realise c/m is very different to nannying.

I don't want to upset you or hurt your feelings and I hope you get some positive outcome from this with this parent and all the best with your bereavement x

poppies
You need to start thinking outside of the box and seeing other peoples points of view... you should be trying to work as a team with your parents, not against them.

if you just wanted people to agree with you you will see now that not everyone has.
And you don't own the board.

i have attended 4 funerals in the past 3 years, nan, uncle, dear friend/ex employer and my husband :( in each my employer sorted out cover usually with a few days notice , and yes I got paid each time - but difference is that im a nanny

the op isnt charging and as pumpkin said, all she wanted was a bit of sympathy from the mum - as childcarers we are human!!!

funerals are not expected in many cases, unless ill for a while, and as hard as it is for parents to take time off work, sometimes they have to in an emergency

what would this mum do if you rang her at 6/7am and said you are having a day off sick as been having S&D all night - she would have to find childcare within probably an hour or take a day off herself

or if her child had S&D and you would quite rightly refuse caring for her child as you have other children to consider

least you are giving notice

so sorry for your and dh loss, esp if like a mum to you both

Poppie - these threads don't belong exclusively to cm's and nannies. It is often useful to get views from people who use our services.

poppiesmom
you say in your OP you could "take the whole day... " and you are only working until 2 pm to "help them out" but how long should you be giving as notice for this leave normally?
And you're not helping them out. you are letting them down, which is justifiable under the circumstances but still very inconvenient.. you don't seem to recognise this at all.

And the title of the thread is 'Funeral Charges'. So it's fair to assume the charging or not was of some relevance.

When I posted I could only reply to what was showing on my phone. That's what I did. At the time it was relevant.

Irrelevant, Lisaro. This isn't a payment issue. She's stated several times that she won't charge.

Poppiesmom, sorry to hear about your friends Mum.

If all this was going on by text, it perhaps felt more insenstive than it was?

nbee

As I also said.. I could not take that time off as emergency leave . I would be put in a difficult situation. I would do my best to arrange alternative childcare, and since I know how reliable a person she is and how she would not want to drop me in it,we would both be trying to help each other out. I would definitely give leave as she is so helpful and reliable normally. It would just be very awkward and may involve taking ds into work or example and finding a friendly secretary for him to sit with... this would only work on non urgent days though. Friends would help out as a favour probably.

My points are

1. I'm not sure leave should be expected for this event.. I wouldn't be able to take it but would do my best to allow it for someone else.

1. Its all about the individual circumstances and relationship and pre agreement with the childcarer.
2. The OP doesn't sound very understanding either .. she has responsibility to fulfill the days work she was supposed to do and should be a bit nicer and more professional about it although I appreciate she may be upset and stressed.

I couldn't not pay my CM, if I had one, as it would feel like I was punishing them for having a death in their circle.

I get holiday pay. I would also get compassionate leave for the funeral of a close relative. The differences are; I'm employed and not self employed, I most likely wouldn't be able to get any leave for the parent of a friend, no matter how close we were.

lisaro so you don't expect holiday pay then?

Which, as I said, leaves you in the same position finding alternative care or having to take time off work yourself - whether it is a childminder or a nanny that is caring for your child.

Sorry but you're way out of order. If you're not doing your job why should you get paid? If you want paying you should do your job. I realise its not something you can help, but expecting to be paid is very unreasonable.

nbee
yes of course I would give time off for a relatives funeral just as I would be allowed leave for urgent illness of myself or immediate family or compassionate leave for a funeral of immediate/ close family.

In this instance, funeral of a close friend then I personally wouldn't be allowed to leave work at short notice if it were my own friend, but would definitely try to come up with alternative childcare and would work together with my nanny... We are both v flexible when circumstances allow, but at the same time she knows I can't get leave at short notice. We would probably be able to arrange something together with after school club etc.

Giving notice in this case is just ridiculous. Rarely do people get notice of a death and funeral of more than a few days and I would hope that people would be more understanding.

DH always keeps a few days of leave back for emergencies and I would have thought that was common amongst parents as often the unexpected does happen.

OP, I would either take the whole day as leave, work part of it but not charge for after the 2pm (still get paid up to then) and stop with the freebie favours.

I used to be a nanny and did lots of things that were not in my contract but then I worked for very reasonable and fair parents who also didn't stick rigidly to the contract once we had all started working together and we saw how well it worked.

bonhomiee - "Instead, I have a nanny/mothers help based around home just for my own child for this very reason."

But surely you'd be in the same situation if someone in her family or close to her died and she wanted to attend the funeral? Or would she not be given time off?