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Original poster

How did you choose your Au Pair

108 replies

CountessDracula · 21/03/2006 15:37

I have finally given in and said we can have and au pair - difficulties with dd being ill, dh's work going mad and general exhaustion have finally persuaded me that we should give it a go.

So what did you look for in yours

I have a preliminary shortlist (not spoken to them yet)

  1. English, 21, looked after her much younger siblings for the past 2 years. The first line of her profile says "I am a christian" which tbh I find offputting, not because I don't like christians but to put it in the first line may imply fanaticism do you think? She sounds very nice and sensible.
  1. A 22 yo hungarian girl who says that people say she is a responsible, tolerant ,open minded person who loves fun,children and the life. That sounds more like my cup of tea, she has worked in UK for a year and I think is still here so could interview her. She has worked in a nursery too.

what do you think?

What do you look for in an au pair?

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jura · 22/03/2006 16:13

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ks · 22/03/2006 15:59

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Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:56

How's the hunt going Jura?

Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:53

phew..... Grin

Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 15:51

Noooooooooooooooooooo Uwila, you didn't offend me - I just felt I had to justify my meanness!! Grin

Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:44

Oh Bugsy2, did I say something to offend you? So sorry if I did. Trust me I break the bank to pay my nanny. I work long hours and I have almost nothing to show for it. I don't pay my nanny a huge salary, but I try to be nice to her when I can. Grin

CD knows this. She is one of my critics. Wink

Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 15:43

This one has a mobile already guess I could give her top up vouchers every so often

ok will let you know how I get on.

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jura · 22/03/2006 15:43

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Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 15:38

To be honest Uwila, I have aupairs because there is pretty much no other option I can afford.
I give these girls a room in a nice house, in a respectable area of London. They get as much food as they can eat & to live and help out in a happy family. I pay pocket money for 40 hours help each week, but rarely ask for more than 35 hours and I am nice to them.
I cannot afford any of the added extras - I just don't have the cash. However, I've either been very lucky or they must like staying in my house as I have a relatively low turnover rate!

ks · 22/03/2006 15:34

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Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 15:33

Lordy, I don't pay for their language school either. I simply couldn't afford to. I'm amazed my aupairs stay as long as they do - it's certainly not because of the perks!!!
Feel rather mean in comparison to lots of you on here.

Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:30

Why not give a mobile, Bugsy? Then you can expect her to always be available when you want. I do pay as you go (would never be liable for a contract) so it can only cost me £30 per month.

And you can get a pretty good phone on e-bay.

Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 15:29

Sorry that should be "Blimey, I don't give a mobile either" - not "don't give a mobile", as that is entirely your decision!!!!

Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 15:28

Blimey, don't give a mobile either. All mine have had their own & I ask them to always have it switched on when they are looking after the children away from the house.

Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 15:26

loads of expert advice from Uwila. Only thing I really disagree with is use of internet. I have found it is best to restrict it to out of working hours. We all know how easy it is to spend much longer than we intended on the internet.
My aupairs have the smallest room in the house - only because its the only one there is - unless they want to sleep in the shed.
None of mine have ever minded its smallness & they all seem to head off there for the evening unless they are going out, even though I have made it clear they are welcome to enjoy my charming & fascinating company of an evening should they so wish!!!
Hope all goes well & you like the Hungarian.

Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:25

Oh yes, I give a mobile and £30/month top up. Would probably still do this even if she was au pair, not nanny.

Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:24

Another thing I do, and this got me into trouble on nannyjob, but I'm going to say it again anyway because it may be of use to you: I challenge her on something, anything really. For example, if she says she thinks team sports are great for young girls development then you might say, "oh, not in our case. DD thrives more on role play and we are keen to promote that" Then watch her reaction. Does she say, oh if that's how you prefer it, then that is what I will do (preferable). Or does she proceed to tell you why in fact you are mistaken. I had a nanny who used to override my instruction. She meant well and thought she was doing what was best for DD, but it was in direct opposition to my instruction and it infuriated me. Just push her a little bit and see if she stand her ground.

Also, I did this with current nanny because I am a very straightforward person, and if she is unhappy I need her to speak up so we can deal with it. If nanny just says yes all the time but in fact is unhappy that isn't going to be a good thing. So I need a nanny that can stand her ground if I ask too much. Current nanny is Canadian and as you know I am American. Culturally it has been a very good fit.

ks · 22/03/2006 15:24

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Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:16

How much time do you want her to spend in her room? Everyone is different. Some families like the au pair to be part of the family and hang out with them. Other like her to go to her room. I am of the first camp. DH is of the second camp. But, our nanny works 12 hours a day, and so she normally heads to her room after I get home. I think in our case it's a well deserved break.

The more comfortable her room is, the less likely she is to hang out with you after you get home.

Our nanny has the second largest bedroom, mostly because it has ens suite shower room (but has to share bathroom/toilet with kids).

Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 15:14

dd will be here when she comes round hope she is not in poison mood

Also hope hungarian isn't total babe :(

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 15:13

I have your list thanks, copied it off another thread and have amended to my purposes.

OP posts:
Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 15:12

she CAN'T be worse at ironing that me and dh!

OP posts:
Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:12

I suspected you were much more organised than was revealed on the thread. Grin

Do you want my list of questions (which admittedly are geared towards nanny not au pair)

Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 15:12

Yes agree re internet

Would get little tv/dvd integrated

NOW a dilemma

I have two possible rooms for her

  1. Our spare room, big lovely room which she could have a sofa in as well as a bed, plenty of room for her
  1. Our office - small room (still nice) but only room for single bed and wardrobe really. I could get a day bed (you know an iron one) so she could use as a sofa some of the time.

Do you think I should offer her either and see what she says, or offer her more cash if she has little one? Or just offer her little one?

OP posts:
Uwila · 22/03/2006 15:10

Oh oh.... have her iron a shirt tonight (possibly while DD is distracting her). You'd be surprised what people consider a good ironing job.

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