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Original poster

How did you choose your Au Pair

108 replies

CountessDracula · 21/03/2006 15:37

I have finally given in and said we can have and au pair - difficulties with dd being ill, dh's work going mad and general exhaustion have finally persuaded me that we should give it a go.

So what did you look for in yours

I have a preliminary shortlist (not spoken to them yet)

  1. English, 21, looked after her much younger siblings for the past 2 years. The first line of her profile says "I am a christian" which tbh I find offputting, not because I don't like christians but to put it in the first line may imply fanaticism do you think? She sounds very nice and sensible.
  1. A 22 yo hungarian girl who says that people say she is a responsible, tolerant ,open minded person who loves fun,children and the life. That sounds more like my cup of tea, she has worked in UK for a year and I think is still here so could interview her. She has worked in a nursery too.

what do you think?

What do you look for in an au pair?

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Bink · 23/03/2006 11:50

oh, and I'm the one who says, I want to give up work ... (then changes mind)

Bink · 23/03/2006 11:50

CD, we are going to have to be changing nannies some time later this year, again, so I've been thinking about this again. The two things I come back to are:

  • our longest term nanny, who was with us for three and a half years, is a family friend now, and takes the children out at a weekend every few months, comes to birthday parties, and so on. Whatever else changes in their lives they know they have her, as well as their parents, as their friend and that is a real security (with a sort of extra-specialness that comes from not seeing her day in day out). It sounds as if your nanny might have the same post-job relationship with your dd; and
  • finding out that there are lots of people to enjoy being with and being looked after by is quite a good life-lesson, I think - ie that there's more than one way of life being perfect.

I think Issymum is v good on this kind of worry. Perhaps she will pop in.

oliveoil · 23/03/2006 11:49

How old is your dd again, is she nearly 4?

I think children are more flexible than we give them credit for tbh. And she won't be from pillar to post, her days will remain the same at nursery, it is only the 2 hours after with the au pair that is going to be different.

I hope you told dh that another option was that he give up work.......

Original poster
CountessDracula · 23/03/2006 11:44

oh and dh said if I feel so strongly about it I should give up work Angry

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 23/03/2006 11:43

On the other hand this girl was fab and I know dd would adore her

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 23/03/2006 11:42

Will give the nanny a month's notice so that dd can get to know her well I think.

Had a rather..ahem..heated discussion with dh about this last night. He is really up for it as he thinks it will give us more flexibility and also save us a fortune (which is true) but I was again putting forward my pov which is that I feel that continuity, especially in pre-school children, is so important. She has had the same nanny since I went back to work at 7 or 8 months, but has known her since birth and she is really like part of the family.

We kept her on when she started nursery at 2.5 as I didn't like the long days for dd, so the nanny picks her up at 4 and hangs out with her til I get home.

My major concern is that whichever au pair we get won't work out for some reason then dd will be shoved from pillar to post, (nursery in the day, then au pair picking her up, then me/dh home) and I feel that it can't be good for her having different carers all the time.

I had a rather Enid Blyton sort of upbringing, my parents were obsessed with us (in a nice way) and my mum was always always there for us. I just feel that I am giving dd such a different upbringing, I worry how she will feel about it and I don't want her to be unhappy or feel that we don't care about her. No amount of money saving or freedom could be worth that.

Dh's take on it is that they had au pairs all the time, their mother was always out and tbh wasnt' that interested in the day to day mainenance of the kids! And it didn't hurt them.

So we come from such different sides of the fence on this - I can see his pov and he thinks I am being overprotective. Am I?

(sorry about that outpouring rather long!)

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oliveoil · 23/03/2006 10:39

Will she be instead of or in addition to your nanny? Will there be on overlap of duties here?

Bugsy2 · 23/03/2006 10:35

Glad she was nice CD - are you going to take her on?
Copey - try Absolute Aupairs they are based in Streatham.

jura · 22/03/2006 23:04

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 22:55

she was bloody lovely

Normal, intellignent, MUCH more grown up than I was at 22, a pleasure to talk to, god she must be a psycho

And yes a babe but not dh's type (i hope Grin)

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copey · 22/03/2006 22:07

God I am soooooo hacked of with this au-pair business. Have turned into a psycopathic stalker. Can't get any sense out of au-pairs - no-one wants to commit. It is completely consuming all my time - (spare or not!!)constantly searching these websites - am now panicking (and have lost the ability to spell) and frustrated - what agency shall I call tomorrow?

Uwila · 22/03/2006 20:04

And the verdict? Was she a babe or what?

Tanzie · 22/03/2006 20:02

Oooh, how did it go, CD??? I think you should go for the Transylvanian, personally, but that's only because I've lived there and people from Ardeal have a reputation for being very hard working. I had two fab Romanian nannies, still in touch with both (they worked together for one salary as my first nanny had married an Italian and didn't know how long it would take for her visa to come through), and a Romanian au pair for a year who was as dippy as they come but very hardworking and fantastic with the DDs.

ks · 22/03/2006 17:09

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 17:09

had better go and tidy up Blush

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 17:06

how many do you have bugsy? Shock

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Bugsy2 · 22/03/2006 17:00

Don't worry about the room CD - I really don't think it will be a deal breaker. Mine seem perfectly happy in their shoebox.

Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 16:46

She just called again to confirm she would be here by six

she does sound nice
Grin

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 16:46

(sorry I mean our office not guest room iykwim)

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 16:45

Yes I guess so

Ours would fit a single bed with a pull out one underneath easily, it's just that I wouldn't fit the office in there too. I guess I could get a sofabed in there. Might put freeloaders off and tbh who wants guests hanging about like bad smells Grin

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ks · 22/03/2006 16:41

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 16:39

oh fuckity fuck she can have our room and we will sleep in the hall Angry Grin

It is all so hard

If she has the bigger room then have to have office in our bedroom I guess or never have any guests to speak of

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ks · 22/03/2006 16:37

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Original poster
CountessDracula · 22/03/2006 16:35

I think I will see what she expects room wise

obviously I will give her one of \link{http://www.airforce-technology.com/projects/737aewc/images/737AEWC_3.jpg\these} not just a mere Blackberry pah!

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jura · 22/03/2006 16:14

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