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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Childminder virgin- any tips or advice??!

28 replies

cheekymonk · 01/09/2012 19:51

hi there, My dd aged 18 mths currently goes to nursery tues, weds and fri 8.30-3.30 and I work 16 hours per week whilst ds aged 7 is at school. I need to increase hours as really struggling financially despite using childcare vouchers from both my and dh's wages and no tax credits.
Nursery can't have dd any more days so am pretty sure I will go for childminder. I have always used nurseries and liked the fact children were in supervised care (ie. not just one unsupervised adult, lots of adults in proximity) the socialisation, activities and the fact I just feel they flourish with this input.
i think I have been a bit blinkered however and it has been pointed out to me that a good cm will make a child feel part of the family! I do think combining both will work and if it does i will gradually withdraw dd from nursery leaving her with the free hours there perhaps when she is that age as she does love it there and i feel totally happy and relaxed with her in their care.
also though and this is hard to admit as i think its selfish i didn't want dd to gain a really strong attachment to just one person. At nursery she is close to one of them which I have been reassured about and pleased by but, I don't want to be replaced...
So, any thoughts or tips or advice? do other people do this???

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Italiana · 01/09/2012 21:49

Children need to make positive relationships with their carer...this does not mean we replace you as you are the mother but we are there for them when you are at work to comfort and have fun with
Children need to trust and feel safe with their carer...do you not feel this is important? or would you rather have your child with someone he is unhappy with?

I feel important in the life of my cared for children but would never want to take over as parent...
how do our parents feel when we meet someone and fall in love...they are happy because the feeling is totally different and in life we have feelings for lots of different people...parents can never be replaced...is there a kind of guilt underneath?
Parents often feel guilty about leaving children to go to work...why? it is good to balance motherhood with other roles...be happy for your child

An0therName · 01/09/2012 20:55

my DS1 had the same childminder for over 4 years - he had a strong attachement to her but in no way was I or my DH replaced -

cheekymonk · 01/09/2012 20:27

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