Outings and expenses, not sure what is expected.

Zhx3 - To avoid you having a big cost later on, ask for the mileage log to be given to you now, and from then on at the end of each month. If your nanny has not completed the form, that is their issue not your's. If they don't want to write down details of each journey to claim the mileage then you can't force them to make a claim. However if they submit a big claim at the end of the year, that is not going to go down well with you, so having the details monthly would be helpful.

May I hijack the thread and ask a quick question?

Mileage is something we included in our contract with our nanny. I put together a mileage claims form and asked her to fill it in and give it to me whenever she wanted to make a claim.

Have reminded her, as she has been working with us for almost 5 months. But she hasn't submitted one.

They don't often travel far, only one trip which might have been about 15 miles in either direction, otherwise normally no more than 1-2 miles if they go out in the car.

Should I be doing more?

Going back to your first post timeforteaagain.

Your first nanny was happy with walking everywhere and using the buggy.

I'm a childminder and don't have use of a car. I manage to walk everywhere with children in the buggy and maybe one walking alongside.

I get out everyday to groups, parks (around the corner) and make good use of my house and garden.

Now your new nanny requires use of a car and wants to go further afield. Although you then say there are a couple of parks around the corner from you. Maybe you have given her the message that your previous nanny didn't get out much so your new nanny is trying to compensate by doing too much and going out too far and spending too much!

You need to talk to your nanny as we have no way of knowing things. Just say if you want her to stick to local things and explain that you have not got much money and she will be fine.

My nanny tells me what she's thinking of doing with the kids each day, so I can say if I think it's a bit expensive.

I'd work out exactly what the costs are of things you would like her to do ie 2 x local playgroup
1 x park
1 x swim
1 x farm trip

• petrol costs and see what it works out as. Explain what you are doing and leave approx that amount in the kitty each week (plus a bit extra for emergencies in seperate envolope). I go with buying an annual pass for somewhere (often you can do them by monthly direct debit). Just explain now the summer is over you want her to do local things and that this is the budget. Also ask her to write down what she needs for herself and your daughter each week for picnics. We've always had a kitty system and its worked well.

I agree with most of the others.

I have a 15 month old charge. We mainly do free activities in the holidays, park, beach, swimming (nanny membership at local gym and she is a real water baby, already says 'splash splash' if I ask her what she wants to do!) friends for coffee/lunch and play, which can seem expensive when your nanny is hosting but we have a group of 7 of us so it is once every 7 weeks and inbetween there is a day a week when the nanny and children don't need feeding!

We have annual membership to three zoos locally, total cost of £90 per year but we go loads, (might not have all three memberships when we have to pay for charge too!) but we don't generally go in the summer holidays as they get far too busy. Although we went this week and had a wonderful day and charge still keeps talking about the zoo.

I don't have a kitty budget, as such, I pay for things and my boss pays me back at the end of the month, but apart from buying food, I always run things by my boss before spending her money! Even on craft stuff.

I will buy myself a coffee in a coffe shop from the kitty if we are there because of my charge, i.e., shopping for holiday bits yesterday, she needed feeding so I had coffee while I was feeding her, they don't tend to let you sit in a cafe if you don't buy anything! And if we went to the park with friends and we all had a drink/ice cream, I would pay from the kitty. However, if I was in town for my own reasons, picking up parcel from post office, etc and we stopped for a coffee, then I would pay for it myself.

I have sole use of a work car, on and off duty, my employer pays for the petrol.
If I go away for the weekend, I will replace my use, if I pop into town at the weekend, I don't. We have some friends with one child and so we will car share for longer journeys but obviously this isn't always possible.

My bosses are amazing, very kind, appreciative and generous, I would never take the piss! If they said, we'd rather you didn't go here or there and stayed closer to home, then I would understand, I would see if they would compromise to one activity further afield a week if charge and I enjoyed the class/liked the other children/carers, but ultimately, they are the boss and what they say goes.

hoping they don't see this and lay down the law!

For goodness sake, talk to the nanny now, not just wait and be nervous about expenses. Have a frank conversation about how much you can afford and specify what you are happy to pay for. For example I am happy to pay for nanny's coffee and ice cream a couple of times a week if kids also having one, but not for regular lunches out or for bottled mineral water (she should take packed lunches and water bottles from home).

Also don't assume anything and set out your preferences for activities clearly. My nanny recently spent £30 on one day going to the zoo which I was fine with, and then spent £25 at the cinema the next day which I wasn't happy with, because the kids had already been to the cinema the week before and because I think kids should be out playing when the weather permits. She hadn't known about my preferences, so I explained it to her clearly and she's fine with it. I also asked, in future, not to surprise me with large expenses afterwards - she should try and give me notice of expensive outings with rough idea of cost, so I can be prepared, financially and mentally.

bobbie yes the library is better place for time killer but it has no toilets and the kids cant get a drink or snack there which they might need

and dont forget the reason why they have driven pass the shop is that some one might have needed the loo or some food or a young child might asleep

as for the term time
this why need cafe for the loo and drink for younger child if raining but is there a park near by that is where i would go with a drink and snack bought from home
does the school do after school the little one can go till older on get out you wont be the only is this situation

Bobbi - what are the timings involved and what is in local area, library, park etc. Send me a PM, email or post here.

fluffy = set some rules. If you're not happy for the nanny to take the children to Costa for a babyccino and for nanny to have a coffee, say so - I have. Ours was "taking them for a treat" or using costa as a venue to fill half an hour between local activities. IMO it's not much of a treat for the children but the nannies like to sit and natter in there. Have suggested that the library a few doors down is a better venue to kill time in if necessary.

Also might be worth pointing out on the car mileage that journeys should be multipurpose - I get q annoyed at a £4 petrol charge to pick up bread when kthey've driven past the same shop on another £4 journey earlier in the day.

I think in the school holidays our expenses for two plus nanny have been running at about £70 / week adn that doesn't include the local theme park passes (at £75 each / year) or the sports club they've done for a few weeks. ARGH. Term time is going to be monstrous because DD2 is starting the same school 4 miles away but has an earlier pick up time. I'll try & do school drop off to minimise mad petrol costs on 24 miles / day and will hopefully get the elder one dropped home once or twice a week. Nanny Nick - if you have any bright ideas on this one let me know... (I need my own car to get to work)

Even packed lunch supplies cost, home baking (cakes for example) can cost more than buying 'value range' ready made cakes then adding some icing.

I have posted cost estimates in the past and getting accurate figures for the 'other costs' is tricky. It will vary from family to family. Anyone want to say how much they feel it costs for these 'other costs' - things like food/drink, gas/electric, typical annual mileage?

and i said
the kids some time need the loo
and you dont what a five year( or older) old boy going to public loo on his own but in cafe he can safely can

or you need to go some where if is raining
so you buy a drink
look a weather we had this summer

a rust bucket car is fine if you are happy for kids to be in it

not at all on both counts car and drinks

i like a car but dont care what care as long as obv roadworthy - a friend of mine will turn down jobs if not the right 'type' of car - she likes 4 by 4 and posh cars - once i had an astra and she said no way would she accpt a job with that car

drinks - the nanny will just be organised and take drinks, but some places dont allow other drinks/foods like swimming pools/soft play areas etc

Fluffygal - it's also usual practice for the employer to pay for the nanny's meals when she's eating with her charges - sandwiches or whatver at lunchtime are made from out of the employer's fridge; if out and about in a non-picnic type place then the employer pays for the nanny's food.

Really blond? I can never ever do that when we take the kids out, we just don't have that kind of spare cash. It would mean the kids can't go out then I guess.

Longjane- Sorry, posting again! I drive a rust bucket as that's all we can afford, we will have our rustbucket 13 year old car available for the nanny to drive but will she then complain and want a newer car to drive? I am getting worried now about the cost as we are already going to pay the nanny 1.5 times what I earn :-( all these extra costs are going to break us, we can't afford a new car.

yes longjane does mean that fluffy

picnics and days out i will take drinks with us, but if for any reason we dont have drinks on us then yes i will get a diet coke/cuppa etc out of the kitty

Longjane- do you mean the kitty needs to pay for the nanny's coffee if they go out? I can never afford a drink when I take my kids anywhere, we have to take drinks with us.

Ah ok, see I work as a community carer, drive my car all day and don't get mileage, my company will pay 22p a mile if going out of area but that is all. I just wondered why 45p as it is extortionate. I just consider that having a car that works is the employees responsibility but that is because that's how it works in my line of work.

Set a kitty amount and nanny can decide how to spend it but yes in holidays 'extra' activities may happen

M&t are great but older ones often get bored of them

Nannynick is the only nanny I know who will charge less mileage so he can go out and about

45p covers wear and tear and mot/servicing - 100 miles £45 and tbh in a full time job can easily be done in a week

• one day I used to do 80 miles by the time I did nursery and school run - tumbletots - back to pick up nursery - back to older tumbletots - back for school pick up - tennis and gym after school and then station to pick up mb and back home

I personally won't use my car and have always had a nanny car during working hours but friends who do sometimes have boss's that moan about the mileage costs but why should the nanny be out of pocket?

nick is kind to his employers as he likes to be out and about and only has his own bill to pay
if he had partner and a child of his own he might need every penny himself

Very true Longjane, the nannies personal circumstances may well have impact on how they feel about this sort of thing. I like to be out and about, I don't like being stuck indoors or confined to the garden.

just had a quick thought

kitty needs cover things like coffee/drinks as this where the nice toilets are

fluffygal
car cost fortune to run and look after and what happen if the car wont work one morning how will nanny get to get work and she need the car for school run
nanny need to have good car as they are taking your kids in them
do you want your kids in a break down a lot ( meaning you cant go to work or are late for work) rust bucket that nanny does ask for money or a well maintenance car that cost you 45p a mile .
nick is kind to his employers as he likes to be out and about and only has his own bill to pay

if he had partner and a child of his own he might need every penny himself