Childminder- Am I Being Precious?

Ive changed my view on toy guns actually. I was vehemently against them. My son really really wanted one but I said no, but as everyone else says, they pick up the pow pow you're dead thing from other children, and will turn anything into a gun...yes ANYTHING. So then i tried to prevent my son from saying things like' you're dead, im going to shoot you' etc but eventually you think, this is ridiculous...lets call a spade a spade. they are role playing and shooting, not stunning each other or freezing each other.

Weapon/gun play can actually be terrific role play, and bonding forming relationships too believe it or not. How many times have I been pow powed, fallen dramatically to the floor only to have my 4 year old then leap on top of me and we all end up in giggles. My son knows guns are bad, but he knows that the one he has got is a TOY and so is not bad. Besides which, you should see the amazing construction he made out of his weapons the other day. It had nothing to do with killing, but his plastic sword was wedged into the garden...surrounded by carefully placed flower pots in a pretty pattern, on top of it he'd balanced another pot, tied a piece of string through it, hung the string so it attached to the fence and made spiderman abseil down the string. Next to it was a stick, another pot and toy gun all in a very special formation. He played, constructed and concentrated for hours...alone and was very very happy. Yes, as I say, i have no objection to guns anymore...and I am a childminder.

Oh that's interesting chocoholiday. And reflects the way I've seen this play in our house. I haven't ever really been concerned about the way they play with them (a lot of fencing with lightsabers or swords, quite a lot of use of the 'the force' and a lot of chasing). Occasionally the boys have said something that I have felt inappropriate - but not as far as I can remember when playing with those toys, usually just when annoyed with each other!

The balls with spikes are probably pictured in things like Ladybird and Usborne guides to Knights or Castles.

OP I don't think you are being PFB to ask that these toys aren't out when your child is there.

It's not online and anyway I'd completely out myself but it was about how this head mistress of a very old school Montessori setting came across the book We Don't Play With Guns Here, which argues that playing with pretend weapons is a natural part of children's development. The idea that guns etc. are just bad arose with the anti-war movement in the 1960s and the author researched how most UK preschool settings had just accepted as fact that gun play equals glamorising violence and violent kids.

So the woman I interviewed said they thought nothing of girls using a stick to pretend paint their nails, but went crinkle lipped if boys used the same stick to "shoot" someone. They'd think the first is cute and the second bad, even though they'd both be using the same stick and exploring their identities in a natural way.

After that they changed their policy and decided to allow gun/weapon/superhero play and use it as a platform for talking to the kids about their fantasy worlds. They ended up exploring knights and dragons, star wars, pirates, Romans, etc. and had amazing games, chats and art sessions as a result. She felt that allowing kids - esp. boys - to explore these games with adult interaction was good for their development and esp. male identities - the key is adults observing, engaging with and guiding their play.

I was initially completely against guns etc but changed my mind because my DTs had so much fun with swords, pistols, light sabres etc. It's never been a problem for us and they are peaceful, well behaved kids. So it's not about the toy itself for me, but how kids play with it.

Do you have a link to the article Chocoholiday? I'd be interested to read it. Or if it would out you can you summarise?

We've always had guns around (somewhere - no idea where they are - prob the bottom of the dressing up box) but ds2 and ds3 have never shown much interested in playing with them. Swords, shields, and their personal favourites lightsabers yes, but not guns. Most of their lightsaber play seems to revolve around chasing, it's never struck me as particularly violent.

I wrote an article once about how an early years setting completely changed their view on gun play after coming across this book: www.mcgraw-hill.co.uk/html/0335210899.html

so sorry but lol lol lol at flora!!

sorry op but you are being a tad pfb. as you are using a cm you can not really sanction what her kids have to play with in their own home. although i see your point and am not overly keen myself i wouldn't think it's worth making too much of a fuss over if you are happy with everything else. you could let cm know you are not keen by saying so to your ds infront of her but i'm afraid she might not take much notice as she obviously doesn't see it as much of an issue if she has them for her own kids.

Imaginative and dramatic play is used in a childcare setting for children to make- believe, stimulate recall memory, challenge ideas and concepts they see in their world.

With this in mind, I really do not believe there is a place for replicas of weapons in a learning environment. Pretending to kill or harm should not be considered as 'play'.

Tell her you do not want your child playing with weapons.

The problem I have is a 5 year old mindee who wants to "make" cardboard guns,daggers, sword and other weapons. the latest thing he wanted to make was one of those ball things with spikes coming out of it, medevil weapon! I was when he said that what he wanted.

Over the last twenty years I have come in for a lot of flack because my 5dcs have not been allowed guns.
I don't make a big deal about it. I just do not feel that imitation killing machines are appropriate pay things for my kids.
I don't preach but others have felt the need to tell me how stupid my ideas are. Why do they need to insist that I give my kids guns?
What's it to them

I have heard 'they are going to come in to contact with them one day anyway' whaaa?
'they are a fact of life' double whaaaa?

I live in east London. Guns are not for paying with. Not for my kids.

Just say you would rather he did not play with it. It's not a massive deal. Blondes your comment made me spit my tea out. Well to be fair I didn't see anything wrong with it untill mrsd pointed it out. Do you let them play with proper knives too.?(smile)

Not keen myself.

Thanks mrsd - you knew what I meant :)

Never allowed toy guns.
I agree with nick just explain you don't want him to play with te guns. No fuss.
I am surprised she has them. I thought CMs had to ave appropriate toys and all that kind of malarkey.

flora what a stupid comment.

i too have a problem with children playing with toy guns.

Yes they will use a stick and "pretend" but that doesn't mean that I need to accept inappropriate toys into my house.

Speak to your CM..... I'm sure she won't have a problem with you telling her that you're not happy for your child to be playing with guns.

Blondeshavemorefun 'i dont like children playing with proper guns' i dont think there are many people that do!

i dont like children playing with proper guns but also know they will make a gun out of fingers/lego/brolly etc

jesus! they are toys guns. Get a bloody life!

If you feel uncomfortable with this type of play then you should speak to your CM. I have 2 DS' who make guns and lightsabers out of everything! I used to dislike the idea of them playing these types of games, but they soon get fed up and move onto the next thing. We have a couple of Nerf guns that are kept in their bedroom. I don't allow them to play them if I'm childminding though.

How do you know he's playing incessantly with him (and if he is would he play with them less if you had them at home so they weren't so exciting iyswim).

So just say, 'I'd rather he didn't play with the toy guns if that's ok?'

Nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't have to turn into a big deal.