Difficult first meeting

I agree. I care for a child with special needs who was very disruptive when he first came. He'd come from a very expensive nursery who thought, after nearly 3 years, that he'd be better off with a childminder (that's a whole other story, though ).

The difference was that both parents were mortified at any incidents. I'm sure they were terrified I'd give notice, too.
With them, us and his new nursery school all singing the same tune, he's improved dramatically: just the usual, active preschooler now.

You need the parents on board or it doesn't work out.

Not a chance in hell I'd contract that boy... due to unchecked and disruptive behaviour. If a parent is not on the same page as me then it's a no go.

NEVER feel compelled to take on a child... they're choosing a childminder and you are choosing families... it goes both ways. The safety of your own children and current mindees is paramount.

Aw titchy,, but he sounded so cute!!!!! And dad so sensible!!!!

Nurseries don't have that luxury or schools so you may as well make the most of it!!!!

Many parents behave at first visits as though they are interviewing you for a job they are providing and all the onus is on you to demonstrate to them how worthy you are to take on their little angel. They often don't seem to appreciate that you are deciding whether you will accept their child.

The parent should have been mortified at the breakages and behaviour but he wasn't. That is actually far worse than the behaviour itself. I do know someone who allows her preschool ds to do anything he wants without any sort of reprimand (think this is a method of parenting) and despite the fact that I have a similarly aged ds who was lively, I dont like my friend's boy coming here because he always breaks stuff and I am actually afraid he will hurt someone. Nothing is off limits for my friends boy unless she thinks it will kill him! Just decline, if you mind another child and they report that sort of behaviour to their mum or dad, the presence of this child could impact your business.

He hasn't started with you yet Titchy so you're within your rights to terminate agreement. It's not discrimanation. I think as a parent if my DC acted like that I would see your decision coming a mile off. Best to move on swifty and as you said use it as a learning curve.

Of course you can choose to take on a contract or not take on a contract.
To my mind, it's not the boy's behaviour per se, but the fact that, after he'd already broken something in your garden, he then picked up a vase and threw it at the wall and HIS DAD SAID he's so cute you won't be mad at him for long

Wow! I wouldn't be signing a contract with that Dad.

of course you can choose! you are self employed. it is completely up to you who you chose to work with. have you signed contracts? even if you have, you should have a settling period when no notice is required.

I think it's quite understandable and acceptable to have some of your personal bits and pieces around at the weekend and when you have a child visiting supposedly under the supervision and control of a parent. I don't think you need be at all aplogetic about that Titchy. They sound horrendous - save yourself!

I mind a little boy who is just as you describe - I'm finishing next month. He headbutted me last week and I've had enough really!

i wouldn't advise that you take this child on tbh. someone else will come along. if after a first meeting your reaction is a no, i would trust this judgement tbh. i always make clear to parents that i am interviewing them as much as they are me, you need to both be happy with each other and dad's reaction was a little odd imo.

I took on an older child in my early CM days when my own DC was under 1. I realised from the start that this child was a complete handful and difficult to control. It was awful and made harder due to parents not accepting the behaviour was all that bad and allowing their child to run wild. I had to end the contract as my DC was put at huge risk caused by mindee. It was terrible and I felt so sad for mindee and upset for my own child. I learnt a huge lesson and listen to my instinct when meeting parents and children for the first time.

That seems rather a lot of things available for a 2 year old to break.

Sorry but with a dad with an attitude like that he's only going to get worse. You should refuse and tell them why. They won't like it but it's the biggest favour you could do them.

Decline, or if giving the benefit of the doubt have them over for a play session or two in the day, then a settling in period of a few weeks. And give the parents written info about how you manage behaviour, rules etc before they sign the contract.

Your other client(s) might not be happy if this little boy is disruptive or takes up your time and attention. And of course your DD wouldn't like it either.

I would definetely decline.

you need to select the families as carefully as they select you

there is no shame in chosing to not take on a child

and yes, crikey, glass in the garden and a vase available to be broken - use this as an opportunity to review your risk assessments

Though I do question slightly why you have breakable things within reach - glass in the garden I would have thought was a no-no for one.

Do you not have a settling in period where you can cancel the contract immediately?

If not then I'd say no straight away. Dealing with extreme behaviour is one thing, allowing someone in to your home when you know they're going to trash your house and behave appallingly and parents are unlikely to back you wrt discipline is another.