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Original poster

Advice on Nanny Reading on Duty

37 replies

fangmaboobies · 05/07/2012 07:11

Yesterday I was working from home. Went downstairs to get tea and found DS (toddler) lying on the floor bored in one room and Nanny standing in the corner of the next room (i.e. poss trying to be out of sight?) reading a novel!

Very shocked, asked her to stop immediately and engage in an an activity with DS.

DS is not hard work, they had spent the morning in doing craft stuff & reading so from my POV she should not have been tired by mid-afternoon & they should've been out doing something in the afternoon.

When I checked with DS that evening he said she does it all the time and it makes him feel 'bad'. :(

Her contract ends in a fortnight as I am about to have DS2 (39wks).

I am swinging between talking to her about it this morning and possibly giving her some afternoons off (still honouring last 2wks of contract) & firing her and agreeing a week's paid notice.

I don't know if I am overreacting to feel that she has breached my trust & let DS down or whether talking it through will make me feel better / her change her attitude.

Nanny & DS have a good bond but she has avoided physical stuff like playground visits despite repeated requests & favours craft (ie lying on the floor) type activities. This combined with DS's comment makes me think she isn't putting the effort in.

help!

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mogandme · 05/07/2012 12:15

Haha Ebb - thats what I was/have been reading - seemingly it's passed my boss by as she had no idea what the book was about Grin

Ebb · 05/07/2012 12:08

I am keen for children to learn to entertain themselves and will happily sit and have a coffee and a few minutes quiet but I don't think reading a book in another room is particularly proffessional. By all means set the child up with an activity and then sit in the same room but it just seems a bit sneaky to be almost hiding in another room especially when she knew you were upstairs.

And no, don't give her afternoons off! Get her washing and ironing the babies clothes and sorting things out, batch cooking for your oldest. You're having a baby soon. She should be making your life easier!

PS. Was she reading Fifty Shades of Grey, OP? Wink Grin

mogandme · 05/07/2012 10:46

I read at work and my employer is happy for me to do so. However to put it into context I would/have read (if I am in the grip of a really good book) whilst DC is eating his breakfast and I am having a quick cup of tea in the kitchen, whilst he has been having quiet time in his room (he is 4 and gets 20 minutes in his room after lunch if we're in the house) while he is engaged in an activity ie sometimes he takes himself off upstairs to "play by myself for a little while", if he's snuggled upto me on the couch watching a film.

However seeing as I have 1 4 year old charge who is constantly on the go - we have activities/playdates/p-school all week long it is very rare that we are about to do this. All though a couple of weeks back my boss did come home to see us in the garden, he was playing with lego on the blanket next to me and I was reading. I was available when he wanted me ie look at this, can you help with that, but he was busy and wanted to work on it by himself.

mrswishywashy · 05/07/2012 09:24

As a nanny I've never read while the children have not being engaged. However I have read my own book if the children are having reading time, watching a DVD (rarely) or playing happily with there own toys eg lego (there is only so much lego I can play). Obviously I only read if all my other duties have being done.

I think you've handled the situation correctly especially as she only has a few more weeks left. However I wouldn't give her all of the avos off I would get her to do batch cooking or tidying of play areas/child's bedroom so its one less thing you have to do.

rubyslippers · 05/07/2012 08:56

It's not confrontation tho is it?

It part of your role as an employer ... It can feel awkward I know

rubyslippers · 05/07/2012 08:55

It wouldn't bother me if my nanny was reading IF my kids were happily engaged in something like colouring etc

If they were bored whilst she was entertaining herself and essentially ignoring them then I would have words

I think speaking to her was the right thing to do

Original poster
fangmaboobies · 05/07/2012 08:50

OK I spoke to Nanny & asked her what happened.

She was v contrite & said she always does give him lots of attention. However she then said;
-she was checking some fact re housing (it was deffo a novel)
-and that she has never done it before. That contradicts what DS says but maybe he could mean when she is cooking etc but he said she reads books...
Also DH has come home before and found them in different rooms & wonders if the same was happening.

I told her;
-her behaviour wasn't acceptable
-that I don't read when with DS and that I expect her to bring as much energy as me to the role (poss more now about to give birth)
-she should consider this her first/verbal disciplinary warning.
-I expect a bigger chunk of their time to be spent on physical activity.
-We have been generally happy with how things have been going apart from this.

gah..I thought she was doing really well..think that's why I'm so disappointed because it's flipped my impression of her on its head.

I think I will go with my plan A provided no more problems..give her a couple of afternoons off here and there as it's made me feel guilty - my mat leave starts tomorrow and so I could spend a bit more time with him.

Thanks for all advice so far..if anyone has anything to add about how I handled it, v grateful..I hate doing these confrontation things...although somehow I am the type of person who HAS to say something whether at work or at home!

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 05/07/2012 07:44

Not acceptable. If I were reading whilst working I would expect some form of disciplinary.

Original poster
fangmaboobies · 05/07/2012 07:40

About to talk to her...and no wouldn't read while alone with DS. My view is he has alone time when I am cooking meals/cleaning etc.

OP posts:
StillSquiffy · 05/07/2012 07:35

When she gets in this morning ask her if she has her novel with her. And if she does, tell her that it is totally unacceptable to be taking your money whilst avoiding engaging with her charges and that if she doesn't pull her weight in the last two weeks of her contract that is exactly what you will be putting in every reference you give.

It'll make you feel better even if she carries on being a numpty.

Losingitall · 05/07/2012 07:35

Would you ever read in the presence of your child? If its only a 30 min a day thing and the rest of the time is filled with activity I wouldn't be bothered. I think kids need to be taught to entertain themselves. Alone time in short measure isn't an issue for me.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 05/07/2012 07:32

Have you talked to your nanny about it?