Advice on Nanny Reading on Duty

Loon even - bloody iPhone :)

Not a lion :)

sorry i dont know what happened with the faces and with the typos. I sound like loon now with all those grins

No, you dont sound like a loon

After my first post you have said that she only works 3 days, my next posts were general debate with other poster and non about your nanny. With 3 days working you can still do the things that you find important on the other days (although still much better if your nanny see the importance and does the outgoing stuff too)

Just put it down to experience and if you go back to work tell any nanny that you like your dcs to go out more, make a list and suggest some things. Also, let her know that you encourage 'playdates' and buy some snacks/biscuits for her and nanny friends who are invited for playdates.

And hide your books

Well no...he didn't have primary care of them...he works away actually. They don't simly learn to enjoy what their parents enjoy! I love trawling aound antique fairs and ancient ruins...so did my Dad...but my other siblings hate that kind of thing.
I

'just like their dad'. Well, then they 've learnt it from their dad.
That's what we are saying. Children usually learn to enjoy things that their parents or nanny enjoy. It is like with the food or loving books etc (yes, i know this nanny likes her books ).

No...they don't all "learn to be outgoing and sociable" at all. Some DC will NEVER be those things no matter how outgoing their parent or Nanny is.

Good manners and sharing are important and of course need to be taught...but you don't have to attend umpteen groups to learn those. If a child goes to part time nursery from the age of three, they learn more then.

I am very introverted and neither of my DDs were socialised a lot...they met with the few friends I have occasionaly and attended a weekly tots group with me...but they certaily did not witness my sparkling conversation and my actively joining in with things.

They have turned out to be the polar opposite of me...very outgoing and sociable just like their Dad..my DH. So much of this is innate.

Oh blondes loves a debate - have to agree with laquiter

Tbh I think a sociable nanny is important - your child has got to learn skills such as sharing, good manners and communicating and playing and having fun with other children - as well as the basic 'learning' such as colours numbers spelling etc as they get older

Children learn to be outgoing and sociable etc if taken out to play with other children

And does seem unusual that a nanny doesn't Want to be out when a boss is home / as often tho not always the child plays up

Op - will you be going back to work at a later stage and employing a nanny again or now going to be a sahm?

Well that's another debate isn't it Laquitar? There was a discussion on MN not long ago, about how the world and education in particular is skewed in favour of people who are socially able...and who are outgoing...whilst those of us who are naturally shy, really suffer at the hands of well meaning educators who force us to take part in all kinds of activities which do not suit us.

Yes we must learn to communicate in society....to mix and to get on with others...but getting in and amongst others in group situations is some children's idea of hell...heaven for others.

Not antisocial psycho but reading some threads here i am surprised at how many people are very shy and avoid social things even coffee with other mums.
For me a socialable nanny would be top priority and housekeeping tasks last but thats me.

x-post

I would worry about whether she avoids people. A bit strange for a nanny to prefer staying home (with mum working at home) than texting some nannies and run to the park to meet them. Ds needs some regular friends and he needs an outgoing friendly nanny.

I would be at a nanny avoiding playground visits. Climbing, sandpits, slides etc are all extremely important for motor skills development and a couple of hours every day of playground, plus scooting, tricycling etc, ought to be "base level" care for a toddler with a nanny.

Doesn't she have nanny friends in the area?

I would suggest to her to place some ads for meeting up with other nannies and children. Then they will have company for play in the park, picnics, playgroups, visiting animal farms etc.

That will be good for both, your ds and the nanny too.

I didn't see about the ignored requests to do other activities.

My boss allows me to have free reign of our days; activities/groups/friends etc. However if she asked me to do something then I would do it. TBH I am not a fan of the park when it is just me and DC however we go (even when it's raining!!) I know other nannies will also have things they don't enjoy so much Blondes is not a big fan of arts and crafts, but we find our talents and try to stimulate and occupy the children during the day - nothing worse than a bored child. However I do make sure that my charge/s have down time, or that they have to amuse themselves so I can have a 5 minute break or while I am busy with chores as my bosses have all expected that I teach them that they can't always be occupied/dealt with immediately.

So what things does your nanny do with DS? How old is DS?

2 weeks to go... I agree with Strix, some battles are not worth fighting. If she is struggling to find things for DS to do then as Strix suggests, arrange something or give suggestions.

All children need some time when they don't get 100% attention... toddlers are usually happy to toddle about and get on with whatever interests them at that moment in time.

they had spent the morning in doing craft stuff & reading

Toddler I care for would have found that to be very dull. Doing some drawing, sticking or playdoh for 10 minutes if I'm lucky, is about all the toddler I care for will do. Real cooking (making biscuits) followed by pretend cooking making a mess but loving it is something that can while away half an hour.

she has avoided physical stuff like playground visits despite repeated requests

This seems to be more of the route of the problem, your DS like all children needs physical exercise, even if that's just going for a walk. Your nanny avoids that and does craft stuff (which in my view a toddler will not do for very long periods of time). You have repeatedly requested she take him out, yet she still does not. That should have been clamped down on sooner in my view. Too late now though, as she leaves in 2 weeks.

If you have another nanny in the future, clamp down on this sort of thing as soon as it occurs... your DS needs exercise, so ideally you want him going out every day. Sure it can be hard in wet weather, but toddlers can love putting boots on and splashing in puddles - so even a short walk once the rain has eased off can be fun for a toddler. If you have a garden encourage them to use that - at work I have a open door policy a lot of the time, if toddler wants to go outside she can do so - though I do tend to insist on shoes or boots being worn (white socks do not stay white very long outdoors!).

how long has she been ds nanny?

Surprised she doesnt want to go to park - swimming - see friends tbh

I'm not sure I would engage in this battle two weeks prior to contract ending anyway. I might say something (as you have done), but wouldn't take it any further. Some battles are just not worth fighting.

I would however organise an activity for them where I knew DS Would have some fun... Swimming? playdate at the park?

God...its a very false environment for a child if their nanny is expected to engage with them CONSTANTLY unless cooking or cleaning.

I personally think that it's good for a child to see an adult take a break...it reminds the child that they are not the centre of the universe.

I will add my nanny gets a 90 min break every day while DS naps.

Not sure I'd take too much notice of what your 2 year old said.

However I' be pissed off it was me. She doesn't take him out? Yet you ask her to?

Just ride out the next two weeks and be happy she's gone soon.

How old is ds - you say he is a toddler then say he said the nanny reading made him feel bad - not what I would expect a toddler would say

Tbh I don't think the reading is a terrible thing / it's good for children to learn to entertain theirselves sometimes and if doing crafts all morning the nanny prob wanted a few mins

You have a nb baby soon and tbh your eldest will have to start having time to entertain his self or you will be run ragged

But doing it sneakily in another room is wrong

Don't forget nannies don't have lunch hour as such and 5mins sitting with a book and cuppa is a godsend to charge batteries

The nanny is leaving in 2 weeks and tbh you are over reacting saying you want to fire her now

Legally I don't think you could fire without first going through warnings verbal and written / tho may be wrong

I've read all 3 fifty and now on 90days rofl

Reading now and have no bubbas as gone out with mb and gp's