Suprised at CM's request. What to say?

It seems that it's not what's 'best for the child' you're actually interested in, but what's best for you "This means that by 3.30pm I'll have a tired, grumpy, angry and very difficult to deal with little girl as this is what happens if she gets no sleep/rest during the day, so I'll have a hellish afternoon."

YABU. And precious. It's a day out of her life. Chill.

All you people who's children must have a nap, how do you handle a day trip to the beach/ zoo?

Elephants I didn't phase out naps 'just because' I did it because they slept better and by a reasonable time without a daytime nap once they got to the age of about 2.

Hard work at first, I found keeping them awake between 5-7pm was key, start bedtime routine about 6:30 then sleep by 7ish.

I cannot imagine letting a child of nearly 3 sleep so as to avoid tantrums!

My first two settled into a no nap routine fairly easily, my 3rd did it himself when he was about 14months old! But he went on to be diagnosed with autism and tends not to need much sleep anyway.

Bollocks.

Dd would nap for an hour and a half in the afternoon. Get up. Do stuff. And still be ready for bed at 7pm. And then sleep until 6am.

No naps meant for some reason she found it harder to settle st night.

Ds1 slept 8- 6.30 ish. He just needs less sleep, just like I need more sleep than dh.

Ds2 will still sometimes have a nap. He's nearly 3. But if he has a long nap doesn't settle as well at night.

Different kids, different needs.

But in our case if something was going on in the afternoon the children wouldn't nap and in case of op, I'd have said no problem to the childminder.

Er, 'need' is a bit strong when this is a one-off.

I'm amazed at the uptightness of this. Going on outings often results in grumpy, tired small children on the way home: zoo, matinee, friend's house, sports day, whatever. It's just part of being a small child but the events themselves are worth the hassle.

This will probably be a great event for the DD, just not a great one for the OP. Would she complain about the zoo? no, although the results would be the same. Whatever the motivation (envy, wanting to throw her weight around as employer, routine freak, who knows) it's not about the DD.

I disagree about naps.

OP I can see your point of view and the Cms too.

If the child needs it - children are trained into sleeping patterns, a regular 2.5 year old doesn't need a sleep everyday - Mum needs child to sleep so as to handle child being difficult.

Seems more about 'you' !!!!!

Pooka I feel your pain

Why are people so obsessed with stopping naps? If the child needs it, then they need it. Yes there might be occasions when it isn't possible but what is the point of stopping naps just because?

I have 3 DC and each of them have needed, and still need different amounts of sleep. I try to make sure they all get what they need but on the odd occasion, it isn't possible and I deal with the grumpiness.

3bunnies is right. Sometimes children have to fit in with the other things that are going on.

Maybe now is a good time to ease her out of the day-time nap ?

Lives of others are becoming affected and disrupted by the desperate need to get this child off to sleep, she is well old enough to get through 8 hours without a sleep, with a good night routine - and alternative ways of handeling tantrums - you'll be fine.

My dd was still napping at 4 years! Ds1 a different child. Stopped at 20 months. Grr.

My DC go to a lovely CM who they adore. They do all the school stuff with her plus she organises cool one off things like visiting the police station and parties on special occasions. She's trusted by us to look after our DC and that includes making her own decisions about planning naps and meals etc. Unless my children were regularly exhausted or starving I have no concerns about the odd busy day. It happens when they're with me. Life happens, the world can't revolve around a toddler 7 days a week.

Op YABU I know it is a pain when your DC needs the nap but the odd occasion isn't worth stressing about.

Out of interest Amberleaf why should the naps be phased out just because the DD is 3? Only asking because my DD (now 7) was a religious napper. After playgroup, every day, 1230-3. I have an older DC so there was the odd time when her routine had to change, and yes it was a pain and yes she was grumpy and miserable but I had to deal with it. Once DD started school she adapted to every day but it didn't occur to me to stop her napping before I had to. Even now she needs her 12hours sleep if only her 2yr old brother would take a leaf out of her book, he is a 8 hour a night sleeper with no naps

As she is nearly 3 you should be making moves to phase out naps anyway.

Sorry, I still don't understand, if you take DD2 home for a nap at the time when she would normally have had one (i.e presumably finished by about 3 if she does school hours with the CM), she won't then have had an exceptionally busy day, so how would that would make her a nightmare for the whole of the rest of the day and stop you doing anything else with DD1 later in the afternoon. I'm guessing DD1 must be at school anyway? Could you not go to the park or whatever after school?

I think you have two reasonable options - keep DD2 home for the early afternoon and let her sleep, do something nice a bit later, or let DD2 enjoy the sports day (where she may or may not sleep) and possibly have her grumpy later, but maybe not.

One of the benefits (or not depending on your viewpoint!) of your child being with a CM is they get to enjoy this sort of activity even though you're at work. If you want her to start changing her days around to fit in with your daughters rigid routine to the detriment of her other minded or own children then I would have thought a nanny would be the better option.

Have I misunderstood? Having your own child with you will ruin your afternoon?

YABU, sorry! Non-CM's have the option to take the day off to see their kids sports days. At least she's not cancelled looking after your DD to go, she has given you a choice, and plenty of notice. If you are unhappy you could always take leave yourself to make sure your DD gets her nap.

Op, there may come a time when your dc have a sports day and you are unable to attend. Ill bet anything that the CM would go to make sure someone was there to cheer them on.

YABU.

Excellent post by 3duracellbunnies

Believe me, your child will not implode if she doesn't nap in the usual place at her usual time one day. She's 2y9m you've said! Some children are dropping their naps by that time. If she is one that really needs the sleep, then she can nap in a pushchair while she's there (not sure why you say she can't , because she's been driven there ? - the buggy will fit in the boot won't it ?) or she might have a nap in the car then, that always sends most LOs off.

I'm amazed you are surprised at the request. I chose my CM over Nursery provision, exactly for the reason that they would be getting "family" type experience rather than the more "institutionalised" provision they would get at a Nursery, confined to the one place all day long. My ds used to go all sorts of places with the CM - including school assembly most weeks - he loved it, as was very familiar with the concept of 'school' when the time came.

YABU. And PFB and likely to get ditched by CM as soon as a more flexible understanding experienced parent comes along.

I'd be charm personified about this, if I were you. A good CM is hard to find, difficult pervious parents are not. Are you planning more DC? How do you expect that to work if you a so riigid and unable to cope with such a small (but fun) diversion from routine?!

My best friend is a child minder, can you tell?

Yabu
Remember this thread when you try to juggle your commitments to attend you child's sports day in years to come.

I took my minded 2 year old to sports day this year to see my son. he loved it and got into the swing of things by running up and down the track with the older children cheering him on. He got to see his mummy (she is a teaacher there) and his sister and all the other children we mind from that school.

I always tell parents that I am going to sports day and plays and anything else that is going on in school and that I am happy to take their child with me or they can have a day off. No-one yet has refused and I have been minding for 13 years.

Not only that but since he is going to be going to the same school in a couple of years, he gets to see other toddlers that he will be going with and becomes very comfortable with the school itself.

so Yes - you are being unreasonable :)

My DS 2.4 went to his CM's daughter's sports day last week. He loved it, ran on the toddler race, cheered on the girl who he obviously knows well.

He is in the process of dropping his nap do I don't have the same concern as you but I do think YABU.