Hi mumsnet, i've been on so many websites seeking advice but alot of it isn't very useful and some can be quite mean. someone recommended this site to me before and i hope i can get some help. I am not a mum, but i am au pair living abroad and i would be so greatful for your help. I have been here for almost 2 months, when i came here everything was perfect but now things are starting to go a bit downhill and it doesn't seem so peachy. i dont know what to do or whether im overreacting.
The thing is i feel very uncomfortable around the dad. When his wife goes out he often asks me round to keep him company, to drink wine or to watch a movie. I went once and he was a bit strange with me, asking how things were with my boyfriend etc. and i have made a point of not going there alone since. He asks if i will go on a solo trip alone with him to Berlin, Which strangely enough his wife supports him with! When i got here i agreed to it, as i had said how much iwanted to go to berlin, and first thought that he was being friendly but now i wonder if there is an ulterior motive. His wife knows about this trip and him asking me round. i said i will be happy going to berlin alone, as i quite a confident, independant person, but he insists on going with me as he knows where to go etc....i dont know if his wife knows about all his invitations. He often sends me emails or skypes me when he goes away, asking questions sometimes to do with the children but sometimes just general chat. i try not to give him much cut, but as i said before sometimes you dont want to come across as unfriendly. The other day i had lotion on my shoulder and he was like, oh here let me get it for you, and rubbed it in! He gets emails when i update my facebook with anything and puts little things on his fb in english now, when he doesn't speak that language and neither do any of his friends. He also insisted on walking me back to my flat one evening i'd been out, and just stood at the door staring at me. i literally live a second away from their flat and wouldn't have needed to be accompanied back. he never does this when his wife is there. I generally feel uncomfortable and feel like he always wants to talk to me and be near me. He looks at me alot, and i dont know if his wife is oblivious to this or aware of it, either way she doesn't say or do anything, or doesn't see it as a problem. And the other day he told me i was being 'bitchy' and acted wrongly after he and his wife tried to persuade me to let a 17 year old boy stay in my flat who is going to be working with them. I don't think this is very acceptable as i wouldn't stay with a stranger back home, so i wouldn't do it here. I also thought it was rude the way he talked to me saying that. They had mentioned this man staying to me three times, even though i told them blatantly that i did not agree with it the first time. I felt a bit pressurised the third time they asked and he said that because i got upset, that i reacted badly and was 'bitching'. I am in my early twenties, and he is only 5 years older than me. I just want to go home now, but i dont know if im possibly over reacting or what? is this normal behaviour? Is he just being overley friendly? I wanted advice on this site as i know you will be honest with me. If it isn't right, how should i leave. should i give notice, or just go? please help!