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Original poster

Advice re Unhappy parent!

38 replies

laurenamium · 27/05/2012 21:34

I have been child minding since September and have been lucky enough to be full already with lovely parents and children who are happy with the care they receive.

HOWEVER, I have just been told through a mutual friend that a parent has updated a Facebook status (i dont have parents on facebook) to say something along the lines of "my childminder is a silly bitch with an attitude p problem" I am Sad that she feels like this and also that she hasn't spoke to me direct about any issues. Especially given that I'm not even sure where it has come from! Only last week she commented on how happy she was to have found me!

What should I do about it? What would you do in this situation? If I was looking for child care for my DD I certainly wouldn't be happy to leave her with someone who I thought was a bitch with an attitude!! I am Sad!!

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Dozer · 05/06/2012 20:10

You are a gem, I couldn't have been so calm and professional about it: she is v lucky indeed to have been given a second chance, hope she appreciates it and gives you no more trouble.

Original poster
laurenamium · 03/06/2012 13:21

Thank you everyone for advice and reassurance! [flower]

Happy jubilee for those celebrating!

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MammaTJ · 02/06/2012 21:24

laurenamium, so glad you got it sorted. You sound like a lovely childminder. So caring. The mum needs a kick up the bum re communication, you should have known all these things as they were happening so as to properly support kidlet!

EightiesChick · 30/05/2012 08:46

Bit late to ask for retraction now though.

This is the awfulness of what social media can do - one daft misconceived thought can be out there for all sorts of people to read. Does no one any favours. Having said that, it could also be that no-one at the school read it or took any notice - so I wouldn't be drawing it to people's attention. I think continuing to show what you are like by example makes sense.

anewyear · 30/05/2012 08:33

Another one who thinks a retraction on Facebook should be made..

Anyhow well done you.

Titchyboomboom · 29/05/2012 15:21

I think you handled that really well! Not too soft at all, and I think you are only human to think of how they are all feeling too, empathy is one of your best qualities I imagine, or I doubt you could handle childcare in the first place! Well done x

thebody · 29/05/2012 09:32

Oh and I would force her to make a full apology on Facebook as well by threatening her with a solicitors letter for slander.

This could ruin your business.

thebody · 29/05/2012 09:31

I admire you but no I would have given notice.

Noone calls me a bitch because I am not.

I would have written to all parents explaining why I had given notice, she made it public by saying this and other parents may have seen or heard and wonder why.

She had no right to potentially harm your business reputation because she was havin a 'hard time'

I couldn't work with someone so rude and disrespectful and she defiantly wouldn't be welcome by my dh and older children. My dh would be livid.

maples · 29/05/2012 00:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ToffeeWhirl · 29/05/2012 00:08

Great news, lauren. Sounds like you handled it brilliantly. Smile

fudgesmummy · 28/05/2012 20:21

I think you handled it just right

Original poster
laurenamium · 28/05/2012 18:21

Oh good thinking lingdilong!

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Original poster
laurenamium · 28/05/2012 18:21

Thank you

I did think about that flisspaps! The last thing I need is my reputation ruined- there are a LOT of childminders in this area and parents have a lot of choice. But the children are my only school run, and I have figured if I don't have them I won't keep my face known in the school IYSWIM, and parents there know I don't have an attitude problem (I think) as obviously we chatter whilst waiting for the children to come out of school. The damage has already been done on FB, but I'm hoping I can keep some reputation by continuing to be myself at the school. Youngest Child was happily telling her friends that she loves her child minder and she wished she could live with me and have picnics in the garden EVERY DAY today Wink Grin

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LingDiLong · 28/05/2012 18:17

I think you handled it well actually, not too soft at all. She cocked up at a time when she's going through some major stress and she explained and apologised. I'd be happy with that. Might be worth asking her to put a retraction on her wall though to undo any damage that she might have done.

RandomNumbers · 28/05/2012 18:01

well done you

Bibulus · 28/05/2012 17:47

sounds like she is mortified - as she should be!

well done, sounds like you handled her just right

Flisspaps · 28/05/2012 17:47

Personally, I think so.

I understand that people have a hard time, but really, did she not think about the damage she can do to your business by posting something like that? It only takes someone on her friends list to mention to all her friends that apparently X's childminder has a really shitty attitude - our reputations are generally built on word of mouth!

Original poster
laurenamium · 28/05/2012 17:42

Sorry children have just left! Mum apologized and brought flowers Hmm also cried on me too!

She has problems at home and is currently splitting with husband, this also explains why the children have moved house and school in the last few months. (just told me all of this today) She had misinterpreted a text where I had put "okay that's fine" in response to next months shifts- and no smileys, kisses or fluffiness Hmm and had vented on FB. She also says she has removed it and it won't happen again.

I have given her another copy of my working with parents policy and told her if she has a problem she needs to move the children. (that's when she cried) apparently she doesn't and the kids love it here...

I've been too soft haven't I?!Blush I've mainly been thinking about the children, already moving house and school and dad not being there me not being there too isn't great!

Fresh start and lessons learnt I think Hmm I'm too soft!

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Gumby · 28/05/2012 16:45

Any update?

Eglu · 28/05/2012 13:45

I would wonder why she is leaving her dc with you if she feels that way.

I'm not surprised you are angry and sad.

anewyear · 28/05/2012 13:36

Agree with minderjinx If you havent already spoken to about this, I would be asking her if she knows/has seen what has been written about you on her face book and see how she reacts and go from there.

minderjinx · 28/05/2012 09:48

I would certainly confront her about it, and if she cannot come up with a plausible explanation, give notice but with the option of leaving immediately. I have heard though of malicious partners and "friends" getting hold of people's facebook passwords and doing things like this out of spite - I would just be aware of that possibility and judge if she is shocked to learn what she has supposedly posted or just shocked at being found out.

RandomNumbers · 28/05/2012 09:14

yes if you are sure it is referring to you then the relationship has broken down, give notice and move on

I wouldn't put legal terms like slander in the notice letter unless you have had legal advice

NCMA might be able to help you with wording?

I am so sorry, what a horrible experience

Octaviapink · 28/05/2012 09:08

You are definitely sure that she's talking about you, aren't you? I mean, the child doesn't go to any other minders?

If you're the only minder then yes - agree with the others. Time to hand in notice (advertise immediately).

Intrum · 28/05/2012 06:23

Y