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Original poster

is it unreasonable to expect aupair to offer to help with dinner if its day off?

61 replies

totallyfloaty35 · 19/02/2006 13:24

On the weekend its aupairs time off,but she still eats with us.It drives me crazy when she stands in the kitchen in the way drinking a cup of tea watching me peel veg,load dish washer,prepare everything and never offers to help.I dont know what to say as it is her time off,one friend said not to say anything as its her day off,another said not to cook for her as she wouldn't.But i cant do that it would be rude.She is a nice girl,pretty lazy re housework but good with the kids.

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Original poster
totallyfloaty35 · 19/02/2006 16:38

yes point taken.She doesnt cook at all duing her work time either,i will just have to persuade her to lurk elsewhere on days off i suppose

OP posts:
Nightynight · 19/02/2006 13:38

no, aupairs days off should be sacred. just because she's living in the house, doesnt mean shes obliged to help at any time.

you are cooking for her because meals are part of the remuneration that you agreed to pay her, for the work she does on other days. She shouldnt have to do anything extra to earn them.

Pinotmum · 19/02/2006 13:36

I'd ask her casually to pass be this and that and then maybe next week ask her to peel a few spuds and if it annoys her she'll bugger off out of the kitchen the following week as it's her day off

nutcracker · 19/02/2006 13:33

Sorry but if it is her day off then she is entitled to do sod all if she wishes.

snafu · 19/02/2006 13:32

Does she help cook the dinner when it's not her day off? I can see where you're coming from - it must be irritating and it would be nice to be asked if you wanted some help - but I think if it's her day off, it's her day off and you probably shouldn't expect anything more.

NannyL · 19/02/2006 13:30

sorry but yes i think it IS unreasonable to ask her to help out on her day off... in the same way if you have a live-in nanny you do not ask them to help you at the weekend....

howevere i can see why it irritates you, while you chop the veg that you are cooking for her to eat with you....

i wouldnt ask her to help you, just think its quite rude of her not to offer to at least peel a few carrots.... thats my opinion anyway!

kama · 19/02/2006 13:30

This reply has been deleted

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Flamesparrow · 19/02/2006 13:30

If its her day off, then its her day off... if she wants to help you, then she can, but thats it. DH stands in the kitchen talking to me while I do dinner - he doesn't often offer to help (he will do things if I ask, but he's part of the family, so doesn't get days off) - its companionship and nice.

Not cooking for her sounds most odd!

Flamesparrow · 19/02/2006 13:30

If its her day off, then its her day off... if she wants to help you, then she can, but thats it. DH stands in the kitchen talking to me while I do dinner - he doesn't often offer to help (he will do things if I ask, but he's part of the family, so doesn't get days off) - its companionship and nice.

Not cooking for her sounds most odd!

jowen · 19/02/2006 13:29

You are supposed to treat au pairs as one of the family, and not cooking for her isn't very family like. The impression i get is that au pairs are to be treated as you would treat a teenage child of your own. So asking her to cook a meal once a week, or peel some carrots while you do spuds, is not unreasonable. If she isn't eating with you, she shouldn't be asked to do anything towards the meal.

young people generally have no idea what needs doing towards a house until they have one of their own - it's not enough to be living in one. Just tell he, that you are making X night (not her day off) her night to cook a meal.

JanH · 19/02/2006 13:27

Do you have a paid job, tf35? Would you go into work on your day off, chat to your boss and help out? I don't think so....

Nice girl, good with kids, what's wrong?