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Original poster

The Curse of Boff strikes again - this nanny has decided after a fortnight in post that petrol is too expensive

212 replies

BoffinMum · 18/05/2012 12:10

New nanny started two weeks ago, all going well, but then she resigns out of the blue.

This time, the cost of petrol and her 50 mile commute is blamed. She said she hadn't thought about that before taking the job.

I had a 'WTF???' moment as she was specifically asked about this at interview and by the agency.

Agency is being super and they are cross with her for messing us about, and they think she is being wimpy. So do I. She works 47.5 hours a week, so it's not as though her hours are mental for a nanny, either.

Sad[cross]

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happychappy · 29/05/2012 15:15

Boffinmum is really very nice and that is a lot of childcare to find (25 years). Nanny job just generally don't last very long so 2 years is good time for a nanny to stay in one job. I would say I'm an exception to the rule

Original poster
BoffinMum · 29/05/2012 14:00

I should also add that I have had four children and the oldest is 25, so I've used childcare for longer than average.

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 29/05/2012 13:57

I am deeply scary, ask HappyChappy!! WinkGrin

No, we're actually very normal and boring - nannies have left us because they get offers nearer home (3 times), were only temporary in the first place (fair enough) and in one case wanted to be a classroom assistant instead. And one of them didn't like nannying after all and wanted a different kind of job. APs have usually left us because their time was up anyway, but one was stealing from us Shock, one was depressed and went back to Sweden because she had had her boyfriend stolen, and one had an avoidable bike accident with DS1 (who had no helmet on at the time) and was scared to death of looking after kids after that.

We are not eating them, honest! Many still visit us!! And babysit!!

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happychappy · 29/05/2012 00:56

I think my last job I would have quite happily have stayed forever (or until they didn't want me) but they ran out of money..... which is pants. I've only had 2 nanny jobs everything else was teaching work that was on short term contracts. The other nanny job, he got too big. Its the life of nannies. I hated leaving the last job because I really miss the little boy I cared for and I know he really misses me and my kids. I'm now looking for another job but I am finding it difficult to find the one that right for me. I suppose as families you are wanting the right nanny for you; its the same way for me. I look for the right family for me and my situation. At the interview I try and find out as much as I can so I can go away and think about how the situation would work. I do find the agencies really do push you to decide everything almost straight away. That's not me. I actually only have one agency I trust, all the others I go to with gritted teeth because I just feel all they seem to be after if the agency fee.

Either side of the fence it's difficult.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 29/05/2012 00:47

Boff - what the hell are you doing to them all? You have had more nannies/au pairs than most kids have had hot dinners!! Are you really that scary?? Hmm

Grin

Seriously though, working from home is going to put a lot of nannies off Boff.

The Manny (MAP) sounds like a good option... then see how it goes when the wee one goes to school. That's what I'd do anyway :) not in the slightest because eye candy would be nice all summer, oh no

MNP · 29/05/2012 00:22

Family moving or changing circumstances.

Children heading into ft education.

Shortest was 1yr and longest 3.5yrs

Now a maternity nanny.

WhatTheWhat · 28/05/2012 22:52

I really feel for you Bof. Your OP is such a nightmare situation.
I am going back to work soon with no more maternity leave ever again. So we really, really want someone who will come and stick around, but the candidates are often really patchy. If I had moved around like some of them seem to, I would be practically unemployable.
I am worried about the comment further up about nannies leaving the minute something 'goes against them'. What sort of thing could go against them?
Nannies on here - what has made you leave jobs before?

Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 18:15

I could always try it out for the summer and see how it went, of course.

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HeartsLovesTheDiamondJubilee · 28/05/2012 18:04

Boffin, my brother has a male AP / nanny for his two boys and he is faaaantaaaaastic looking . I'm not sure but I think the AP/nanny divide is less marked in Canada, where they are. Anyways they call him their "manny" which always makes me Smile

Good luck with the decision - I agree with others, give the bloke a go!

Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 17:50

Well, I think it is. You can rent your own flat around here for that, but it's her choosing to look in this area for work, and choosing to live at home with her folks (she is 31, by the way!)

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NomenOmen · 28/05/2012 17:49

Oh well, then. Ignore that then. £25k gross is very acceptable.

NomenOmen · 28/05/2012 17:48

Make someone? Err, what? Ignore my horrible typing!

Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 17:48

£25,000 pa gross

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 17:47

Well the nanny that is just leaving has just come out of a relationship (before she started here) and lives with her parents rent-free, which is why she does that commute. She is paid exactly what the agency recommended as an average rate for the area, for slightly less work.

It is bad, Maples, isn't it? I used to take the CVs at face value until I learned to delve, and indeed I mentioned to Tinies that really they ought to be a bit more transparent about whether posts had been full or part-time, as it made a big difference over time in terms of real experience. I found some nannies were using, say, five years' experience as a justification for expecting more money, whereas if you added up all their paid work it sometimes came to as little as a year overall Shock, thanks to big gaps between posts and only wanting to work part-time.

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NomenOmen · 28/05/2012 17:47

What a nuisance. And she was a bit daft not to calculate how much 300+ miles a week in petrol would be. I can understand her shock, though. Must've been a significant chunk of her take-home pay.

Maybe you're between a rock and a hard place? You're not offering enough pay per hour to make someone looking for a lighter nannying load, but presumably couldn't afford to offer more? What's the gross salary?

Laquitar · 28/05/2012 17:38

'BTW how could i stop looking like a holding job?'.

Since you are offering many hours you shouldn't really be. Unless the pay is less than the average in the area.

Some factors: the age of the nanny, her personal life i.e. steady relationship, partner with steady job in the same area, mortgage/rent, no family nearby so nanny cant afford to leave jobs and stay free at her parents etc. Although the personality of the nanny is more important than these factors.

Maybe offer little perks for when you reach 3-6 months?
I imagine a young AP from abroad would like to see the rest of uk so if she/he can supress hours and then have long weekends every few months and if you have any deals/coupons that she could use and visit Scotland or Wales for example? Or if you offer/help with learning/studying opportunities...

maples · 28/05/2012 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 17:31

I have just remembered, I had a Czech boyfriend in my yoof, he was well lovely. .

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 17:30

No, she whizzes up the motorway, so it really is a straightforward run. I have to do A roads, on the other hand. (I agree, my commute is grim, but I was made redundant from my local job a while back - long story - and I haven't been able to find myself anything local since, not at the same level and that wouldn't be career/financial disaster, anyway).

However these days, I don't do that drive every day, and today I worked 9.30-5.00 sitting in my lovely garden at home Grin where at the weekend I developed a really lovely outdoor study down the side of the house. GrinGrin So I can't be too annoyed with it all. Plus I have a colleague who commutes from Holland!!!! Shock

DH is keen for us to get another nanny, as he thinks I'll get knackered with only an AP to support me (DH works even longer hours and has an even longer commute than I do). However I am worried they will be expensive and unreliable again, and the general support on here for a male AP is also influencing me, it has to be said.

Anyway, we are starting to line Skype interviews up now.

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QuicheMeQuick · 28/05/2012 16:48

50 miles in 45 minutes? Sounds like you are underestimating the commute.

catepilarr · 28/05/2012 16:39

boffin, some are and some arent, depending on their upbringing. i would say that lots of them are quite handy ,able to do maintanance stuff, gardening etc

Pendeen · 28/05/2012 15:15

"... FWIW I do a 70 mile commute each way ..."

That's awful, what a way to start the working day!

(Or am I out of touch)? Confused

Kveta · 28/05/2012 15:13

mine is - I don't do any of the ironing :o

cooking he's not so hot on, but FIL is an AMAZING cook, as are many of our male friends over there :)

ask him to cook svickova or smazeny syr :o

Original poster
BoffinMum · 28/05/2012 15:10

He is mine, Kveta, hand off!

Seriously, are Czech blokes any good at domestic jobs like cleaning and ironing? As a general rule?

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Kveta · 28/05/2012 14:43

czech bloke sounds brilliant

if you decide against him, and he's looking for work in the hertfordshire/essex area, let me know :o

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