Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

My mother is a teacher and taught me in my first year of formal education e.g. Reception aged. She said she had this lovely romantic notion of us being together but that it was very detrimental to our relationship. I have memories of this raging sense of injustice and jealousy about certain things.. in the school nativity I was gutted she made me a sheep and felt that the fact another child was Mary meant she loved them more than me! Nuts, but how a child's mind works..

She said my behaviour really changed towards her at home, I was all about Dad, I wanted a break from her outside of the class and I often called her "Teacher" instead of Mum. She advises all school teachers to make sure they won't teach their children even if this means sending them to a different school and she chose not to teach any of my siblings based on this experience.

I can only imagine it's worse with the under-5's.

The nursery where I qualified had this situation. The underpaid staff treated all children equal, however the nursery proprietor favoured family members. Each to their own way of dealing with this situation I guess. I know the proprietor was wrong with her views!

"So MAD and fueling, do you not think staff at nurseries have their own children there? Do teachers never send their children to the school they are educating?"

I KNOW some of them do. My point is that in a nursery setting there is more than one person looking after the children and that is why I prefer it. I don't know how it works but perhaps someone who works in a nursery can tell me? Would a nursery worker be the key worker for their own child or would someone else be given that responsibility?

In the nursery I use there is one nursery worker who works in the baby room but who has an older child in the nursery below.

Sorry, meant MAD and dueling

So MAD and fueling, do you not think staff at nurseries have their own children there? Do teachers never send their children to the school they are educating?

but my CM has one son who is 11 and at school. DS1 and her other mindee has her full attention. You can choose a suitable family environment

What MAD is saying is part of why I wouldn't use a childminder over a nursery setting to be honest.

don't agree with MAD either. That's just silly

Wow. This thread has gone from judgemental to plain old bonkers. MAD, you are talking a lot of nonsense.

Nope couldn't agree less with that post MAD.

Bad taste?

I think it's unprofessional to be in a situation where you are doing a job with your own child present to be honest. We are human, even more so we are animals, procedures will go out the window in an emergency and even in those everyday small occurrences where little Mary Mindee clobbers your PFB Paul. It is instinctual to put your own family members first ahead of those with whom you have forged a relationship purely on monetary grounds.

I think childminding is a noble profession WHERE it is undertaken PROFESSIONALLY and for me, undertaking the role for the purpose of being able to stay in your own home and mind your own children of the same age as other children is not okay unless you have a very true, high-minded vocation towards the job as well (as, say, many fostercarers do). I think really your own children should be going to childcare if you are working 60 hours a week to enable the childcarer to fulfil their professional role these days.

Really, the best people to CM these days are those whose children are much older and out at school or college or women without families of their own. The idea of trying to raise your own young child at home while caring for others in the way required by the EYFS etc seems to leave everyone in a bad situation. It's not as it was 50 years ago where a woman could take in a child for some extra pennies but just raise them as she would her own, all this professionalisation and proceduralisation (whether you agree with it or not) means it's no longer really the relaxed affair where it is appropriate and feasible to try to mind some kids while raising your own. I think it's disastrous to be honest.

Faye I had to earn money, for me childminding is a bloody good business and I have earned a lot of money. I didn't do it to fit around my kids I needed a viable business to support 4 children, 2 older ones thru uni and 2 younger.

Why is that difficult to understand??

So I had 4 under 4 ( last child was a sibling) and I can say its been great but bloody hard work as are most careers are.

However as with all working mums I have had to balance the needs of my own family and they have often come last again I a
NOT MOANING. I would expect for my child cater to put my child first as I am paying good money for that.

But now after 4 years full time I am shutting my setting as I need to prioritise my own kids.

The premise of the op was do we think it's dad to lea e child with cm on a day off? My answer no and it's parents business.

I was merely pointing out that cms are also working mums and if u cm
like me full time and max numbers your kids arnt top priority in a working day.

And that's fair enough.

I just resent the attitude that some cms work for pin money to stay at home with their own kids and faff around all day at sports day.

The paperwork and ofsted requirements alone negate anyone just playing at it, maybe a few years ago but not now.

When I did my ofstead course which was gone with childminders, all fifteen said they were doing it to fit in with their own children and might go back to their other jobs when their kids have grown up.

I think it's a brilliant job to fit in with children, as is nannying and taking my own children.

But like Faye says 4 under 4 is hard work and your own wouldn't get a look in.

I don't get your post thebody

why did you choose to have 4 under 4 every day if you didn't want childminding to impact so much on your family life? you could have cut your numbers and made it to sports day or whatever

thats the beauty of childminding, you choose how many kids you take on and how much you earn

when I did it I only have a couple of kids and so didn't earn much

but it suited me and my family

that way its doable, not a screaming nightmare...

How silly interview and what bad taste.

I can assure you that my Dcs were last on the list and that's why I am giving notice as stated before.

Sports days, oh dear that's just funny. My youngest dd runs for the county, I had to miss all of her races and heats as it was during My WORKING WEEK and I have 4 under 4 every day so couldn't possibly go.

Not moaning but please don't let this turn into how lucky cms are to be with their kids all day as any cm can tell you that's crap and they are put last.

It's not an easy way to stay at home with your own kids and earn cash, it's a job like everyone else's with good and bad aspects.

Comments are very unreasonable. Some of you must live for a good confrontation - a bit like the playground bullies.
I am sure the original OP was raising this due to the 60hrs this 6mth old is left? That is an extreme case. Two of my CM families are on maternity leave, however I still mind the toddlers 2 days a week - wont go into lengthy detail why as it is obvious. However, mum is at home and kids come to me. Parents are happy, kids are happy; I'm happy. These children aren't left childcare for 60hrs a week though (even when both parents are working)
Susie, change your arrangements to charge full pay regardless of child being off. Think of this thread and remember you are running a business - you don't owe your clients financial favours. Working
Mums get paid holiday entitlement - you are a working mum too.

A bit of a silly example, MAD. We have fire procedures that rely on advice from the fire brigade. We evacuate them all together, unless they are asleep upstairs, and the fire brigade has told us to leave the professionals to rescue them. The door has to be closed and the window safely ajar.

I wonder who would a CM save first in a fire...

"they are last on the list"

reall I doubt that very much. If I were a childminder with kids of my own they would still be first on my list. i think any childminder who says differently is barking.

Yes the body probably is hard but I bet you have managed sports days and things and at least been there. You know your child better than anyone else. It's heartbreaking my nanny taught my son to ride a bike and it wasn't me. Things like that make the difference.

I bet susiemumof will see the baby walk first before the mum too.

ah well, thankfully my CM doesn't judge me, because doncha know tis the last thing a hard working professional mum wants. She'll be judged enough at work as it is.

And in a different life that 60hr a week mum would have been me.

Actually eastnorth, not sure I agree with that as its harder for your own Dcs to see mum pay far more attention to another child in 'their' house.

Children of mums who work outside the home give their children undivided attention at home.

Cms children usually don't half share mum they are last on the list and share their toys, pets and garden as well.

Not moaning that's the job but it's incredibly hard on minders own children.

That's why I have given notice.