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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

663 replies

susiemumof · 17/05/2012 12:29

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

OP posts:
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FunnysInLaJardin · 22/05/2012 22:17

mindee

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/05/2012 22:17

I drop DS2 at CM's. The other minded says to me Mummy, where is DS2? She is 18months. She thinks my name is mummy because DS2 calls me mummy

EclecticShock · 22/05/2012 22:15

Mums, dads, grannies and grandads are primary relationships. A child can have endless aunties and uncles, I have 15 real ones, 30 by marriage and around 50 through close association and family friends. Not the same at all.

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/05/2012 22:15

why not Eclectic? I don't have an issue with it. To all intents and purposes my CM is his mummy when I'm not there. I have no insecurities about this and am happy that for my working day he has another little family to belong to. After all I am his actual mummy and he knows that

Tanith · 22/05/2012 22:15

And young children do mix up names and nouns. It's part of their learning. My DD called me by my first name because she heard the other children do it. Then she called every woman over the age of about 14 Mummy. Now she's getting on for 3, she seems to have sorted it out Smile

scottishmummy · 22/05/2012 22:13

mindee calls you mummy,and this goes unchallenged?
that's appalling
lacking in boundaries

EclecticShock · 22/05/2012 22:12

Thank for your insight. I'm am from one of those cultures and I have no problem with auntie and uncle. Mummy, daddy, granny and grandad is completey different.

Tanith · 22/05/2012 22:10

Then you wouldn't use our service. You'd choose somewhere else. Quite simple, really.

What you also ought to understand is that, in some cultures, addressing an adult by their first name is regarded as rudeness. The children use Aunty or Uncle.

That's a parental choice, too, and not at all inappropriate.

EclecticShock · 22/05/2012 22:09

I'd be very uncomfortable with my ds calling another woman mummy, it's very confusing to someone do young and it's not true... I dont see how you can justify it to be honest.

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/05/2012 22:08

which goes back to the origin discussion that I would hate it if she judged me, precisely because we have a good personal and professional relationship

FunnysInLaJardin · 22/05/2012 22:07

well I think a good one to one relationship with my CM family is invaluable. DS2 often calls me MandyMummy aswell as AbiMummy. He gets a bit confused, but I like the fact that he thinks of our CM as another mummy. In fact the other mindee calls me mummy, as I am DS2's mummy and that's what he calls me. It's just about having a good and relaxed relationship with your CM's family.

scottishmummy · 22/05/2012 22:06

indeed, I agree

EclecticShock · 22/05/2012 22:05

But then I'm constantly surprised by some of the minority views on mn that are pushed as majority views.

EclecticShock · 22/05/2012 22:04

Have to admit I'm shocked that some cm think its ok to let mindees call the cm parents granny and grandad. How confusing and inaccurate. I wouldn't be happy with it to be honest.

scottishmummy · 22/05/2012 22:01

is that comment,observation,or question
how inane

eastnorth · 22/05/2012 21:50

Scottishmummy do you ever say anything nice?

scottishmummy · 22/05/2012 21:44

I have no idea how parents would subjectively rate either of you
you have a working face to face relationship with parents who pay you, I will let you guage that relationship

Tanith · 22/05/2012 21:37

Scottishmummy, it's you who implied otherwise by calling us paid staff. We're not.

Likewise, 3 OFSTED inspectors, a Network co-ordinator and an Early Years Professional Status Mentor all think it's fine for the children to call them Granny and Grandad. I'll mention your objections to them, though Grin

thebody · 22/05/2012 21:35

Yes that's obvious mummy , noone works for free, but honestly without the bullshit can't u see the difference between a home based setting with a family is totally different to a nursery environment.

And that's precisely why parents constantly ring for places.

I know both me and tanith do school runs.

Don't u think that if parents thought we were unprofessional we would be finished.

DuelingFanjo · 22/05/2012 21:34

I think I would find it odd if my ds was encoraged to call the nursery staff 'granny' on the other hand half my friends are referred to as 'aunty'.

thebody · 22/05/2012 21:29

Frankie mate go now while u still can!

This thread has moved on to a bizarre level.

Susie has gone.

scottishmummy · 22/05/2012 21:25

yes,cm is self employed charges fees
it's business
naive to suggest otherwise
it's a financial transaction.if parents stopped paying you'd not continue service.quite rightly so

thebody · 22/05/2012 21:24

Oh tanith I think we are. Mind your manners me girl, lady Mary not happy, it's well posh up north aye mummie.

frankie76 · 22/05/2012 21:24

Needs a day off may mean she is going to the doctors, dentist, helping her parents before you judge
Which you are by writing the thread

scottishmummy · 22/05/2012 21:23

calling adult who is gran,their gran is inappropriate
everything else,the banter,the rapport,the social mileu the interaction is fab
inappropriate use of familial names,that's inappropriate