Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

Have you noticed, theBody, that I'm being judged for (among other things!) childminding with my children and you're being judged for *stopping?! You couldn't make it up

Hear hear tanith. Well put.

well to get back to the OP, I work 60 hours per week and am off from today til Saturday and I have taken DSD out of CM to spend the time with her after school, and am still paying the CM as usual

I personally want to spend as much time with my child as possible so today at PTA we will be making cakes and cooking dinner together

MAD, that is not what you said at all.
Your highly judgemental post said that childminders who worked with their own children present were unprofessional. You even went so far as to recommend that parents should use childminders without children or with grown up children, hinting that the huge numbers with their own kids present couldn't be impartial or unbiased.

Since then, you've widened your judgemental stance to include those of us who understand that young children need to bond with their carers (the key worker system in nurseries was designed to copy the childminder bonding with one carer, by the way, and is encouraged under the EYFS), and that small children are liable to confuse labels and names at this stage of their development - all perfectly normal.
I have a sneaking suspicion that you don't actually care at all, but that you like to wind people up. I suspect this is why you switched so readily from your attack on childminders with children to those evil ones who allow minded children to call the family grandparents "grandad" and "granny" at their own request and with the full knowledge and approval of their parents.

While you have a right to your opinion, you don't have a right to judge others in this way or to insist that your way is the right way.
And I'm sure you'll understand that I prefer the opinion of those professionals in contact with us and who have seen our work many times, and the parents and children we look after rather than that of someone who appears to have no professional knowledge or understanding of childminders and how we work.

As I said, I find it highly amusing that a thread that kicked off so spectacularly, accusing the OP of judginess, should have switched to such judgemental comments against childminders.
I hope Susie has stuck around in the background and is having a good giggle at the sheer idiocy of it all

Big paws thanks that's EXACTLY what I was trying to get across, badly of course.

Dd is going in the right direction thanks with physio and counselling, Long road but counting our blessings.

Mad, are you saying that mixing parenting with any job is ern quite mad or just childminding??

See susies op was to my mind judgy and the whole thread now has turned on whether cms offer good quality child care? If they put their own children first etc??

Truth is that in all professions some are brilliant, some ok and some crap.

There are excellent cms and nurserys and crap ones as well.

Parents need lots of choices to suit them.

Finally I never judge parents( why would I) if they had a day off and left mindee with me I would say bloody enjoy your rest.

Thebody, it appears our messages were posted together. I am sorry to hear about your daughter

Correct me if I am wrong interviewMAD, but have you not answered that question yourself? You state Thebody is giving up childminding to put her own children first. Clearly that is professionalism if this
full-timeWORKING MUMMY wants time solely for her children? Erh? Not too difficult to grasp?

My you youngest dd is 10 and dd involved in the crash is 13. It was never a problem to me to put mindees first in working day as older ones at school but still a balancing act.

I do know cms with small children who do a fantastic job though.

I know have lovely days but have to put my Dcs first now.

I have posted on this, my dd was injured in the alvechurch school coach crash in feb and has ongoing health issues so needs me at home.

That's my whole point really it's not fair to either mindees or Dcs not to be first so am closing as always strived to give mindees 100% and can't do that now.

FayeGovan, me too! Thebody said above that she is giving it up as she feels her children come last in her present arrangement. However, my suggestion that perhaps it's not a fantastic idea to mix parenting and professional childminding is... erm... quite mad .

Yes, thebody.

I am mad for saying controversially that it is not a very good idea to go into childminding so that you can spend more time with your own child and get paid for it!

thebody, you have confused me

if you are having lovely days like that why are you chucking it in?

But each to their own and what one parent lives another could hate so that's why we need different types of child care.

Personally I see a baby room at my local nursery quite the saddest place, with young teens looking after them inside on a lovely day like today. They actually have set times to check nappies!!

Today we packed an all day picnic, headed to the woods, collected flowers,leaves and interesting bits and made a collage. Swings and at area.

Tea was home made shepherds pie with veg, strawberries and ice cream. In the garden.

Story time and home time.

Hey hoe just another day with a child minder

There is a man I have called gramps since I was little. Is no relation at all just an elderly friend of my parents. It didn't confuse me I knew we weren't related it was just a name, and half the village were auntie this or uncle that including 2 of the dinner ladies and the lolly pop man! :)

If you posed the question on aibu, you might get a majority view :)

Is this still going on?

quite thebody. I am on DS2 now and while I may have been insecure about DS1 calling anyone else mummy, I now know it to be entirely harmless and great that he is so comfortable with his CM. It is far, far from harmful. Quite the opposite

I have no problem with the term auntie. I have no problem with cm, or at least I wouldn't have until this threa but now I'm more sceptical about their boundaries.

I think the parents who use my services are quite secure in the knowledge that their children love them first and foremost and that I am a sort of favourite aunty.

I provide warmth, cuddles safety and security while parents are at work

I am friendly and professional to parents who pay me.

Perhaps the most vehement anti cms are not such secure and confident parents and don't wish their child to form strong bonds with anyone but themselves. Understand that.

But each to their own

Just because you can't grasp the concept doesn't make it wrong or unprofessional.

Insecure, that's fine, it that's really your perception. My child knows who his mummy and daddy are and would never refer to anyone else as mummy and daddy, he's only 2.5. It's a special relationship and being their child minder just doesn't cover it. It's a delusion to think its acceptable to confuse a child's basic boundaries and security. I give up now. The concept is completey alien and harmful IMO.

It's completely different for you.

I just find it so funny that all those posters ranting and raving about the OP being judgemental are being even more judgemental about other parents' choices.

If you don't like us, you don't use us. Why do you think it's ok to criticise other people's boundaries, choices, preferences?

in primary1 and nursery sometimes kids say mummy
staff always correct this,and the habit drops off gradually
a competent cm should be gently correcting any mistaken mummy,not going along with it

I think that mebeez there is some insecurity showing on this thread

Look, it's personal choice, but personally I find it very disturbing and confusing for the child. I would certainly not allow it in my child's life.