Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

Bonnie sad to say things will never change. And we thought it was just the glass ceiling we had to deal with............

Yes Caitlin I was that mum all day everyday at nursery. Now my dd is older (8) I do enjoy her and spend time with her. She loved her nursery was very happy and to be quite frank was much much better there than with her mum who really really did not enjoy her. She does not remember any of this and now I do enjoy her I make it all count. I have no regrets about what I did and probably would have harmed myself if I hadn't done it the way I did. Just because it is not what you would do does not mean it is wrong.

"Time during the night is totally different - that's not spent playing and chatting"

You have no idea what she does during the night. Just because you don't chat and play with yours. I did at times. I remember some lovely night times (some awful ones too).

"After 90 years of women's rights, are we still only here".

I have received cats bums faces because my toddler will be going to nursery for 6 hours a week whilst I work. Apparently I should wait until he is 3. Things will never change...

Don't worry Funny. I've put you in the "Not a twit" column on my spreadsheet

I am a bit angry too

I agree completely cailin.

Katie I am firmly on your side and am actually very angry and suprised that these attitudes still exist

maybe she spends 60 hours a week at work because her baby is her priority? Rent, food, clothes etc need paying for.How is she going to do that if she is not working?
benefits? Then people would be judging her for claiming benefits and not working. She really can't win.
Maybe she is working while she knows she can, job insecurity is real to a lot of people.

I said "basically" Juule, but seeing as you can't understand, what I meant was, if the child spends 12 hours a day with the CM then the mother likely gets very little waking time with her baby. Time during the night is totally different - that's not spent playing and chatting, it's spent trying to get the baby back to sleep.

Sorry Funny. It's hard to tell on this thread who's having a laugh and who's a twit

It's not one fucking day MissBeehiving - it's every single day of the week for every week of the working year.

Katie twas tongue in cheek, lampooning other posters if you like

She doesn't see the child during the day Monday to Friday.

Perhaps, like some of us, she would like to see her baby when she's not knackered? Perhaps she would like to spend quality time with her baby, not bundled up in a buggy trying to get everything done with a baby in tow?

Honestly I despair of some of the attitudes on this thread. I really do. She's not sending the child down the mine - she's ensured the baby is safe and well cared for and taking some time for herself. Good for her.

Lizcat - the odd day away from your children is essential, of course. But the mother mentioned spends 60 hours a week away from her child. There's a point a which the child should really start to have some priority.

"the mother basically doesn't see her child from Monday to Friday "

So between picking up and dropping off the next morning where does this mother send her child?

It's ONE fucking day Cailin

Katie the mother basically doesn't see her child from Monday to Friday - I think she's pretty much liberated from the "shackles of child-rearing." But perhaps it's not too much to expect that she would actually want to spend time with her baby?

"A 6 month old baby sees neither parent for pretty much every waking hour 5 days a week."

As I said in another post - maybe the baby sees the mother every waking hour during the night. Speculation (as it all is) but they will see plenty of each other if the 6mo is anything like some of mine have been.

Do you know not all of us actually enjoy them as babies. With the long hours the lack of sleep ( due to on call and baby) I actually derived no pleasure from DD until she was around 3 years old. Those occasional days I took to myself maintained my mental health I have even more sympathy with this mum now it has been explained that she is a single mum. We all do the best we can at the time and passing judgement before we have walked a mile in someones shoes stinks.

You can judge Funny. I say good for her!

you can't judge if shes actually looking after her children herself, after all why have them otherwise? < Bull shit.

I remember the bit where feminists tried to liberate women from the shackles of child-rearing. But perhaps I'm just that bit better read?

Katie we can judge if she's doing something nice for herself. If she's having a smear it's a grey area, but prob safe for a judge too. You can also judge a bit if she's actually working. But you can't judge if shes actually looking after her children herself, after all why have them otherwise?

"god, after 90 years of womens rights, are we seriously still only here?"

I don't remember the bit of feminism that said it was important for parents to send their children to childcare when they are not working

It must have been after the chapter on how boarding schools are liberating for mothers.

A 6 month old baby sees neither parent for pretty much every waking hour 5 days a week.

That's not ideal, but I can see why someone would need to make that choice.

But having made that choice, it seems pretty fucking weird not to take advantage of the few chances you get to spend time with your baby.

Even putting her in for half a day would give you a break to do other stuff.

I know how busy life is working full time with babies/small children. I've been doing it for 4 years.

But "me time" isn't really something I think you should prioritise if your baby never sees you.

That goes for Dads too. Obviously.

"It has everything to do with womens rights and attitudes to women who work "
No it hasn't Funny. Not this thread.

well if she has a 6mth old baby is working 12hr days and probably getting up with the baby at night then she probably needs the day off?! Maybe OP she will drop baby of later or pick her up slightly early, or maybe she will rest or maybe she actually has something important to do but its private and she doesnt want to share the details?

anyway its very kind of you op to be offering reduced rates for when children arent there, but do make sure you arent going to leave youself short, IF you think you can still make enough money then fine but dont put yourself in financial difficulties just to be nice, parents dont expect it, they will probabl see it as a nice bonus but tbh when choosing a childminder i would choose one that i liked and feel comfortable with that kind of thing is a bit of a bonus but wouldnt be why i chose a childminder if that makes sense?

also you say the baby is a new mindee? maybe the mum thinks its best if she sticks to the routine of coming to you and doesnt want to rock the boat etc? just another thought.

but ultimately it doesnt matter, the baby is being cared for and presumably the mum is happy and the baby is too :)