Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

I send ds to nursery when I'm off sometimes, he is older and sometimes I give him choice. He wants to go instead of shopping.

I have also either kept quiet or said I have had a day off when in fact I have had an appointment/had to go to court (as a witness not a defendant) and other things.

but badtaste you didn't answer my question. Would it be OK if she was working for all that time and not seeing her DC?

Oh Katie that is pure evil. That poor poor child

The obligation on women to raise children is a shackle. Of course it is.

The choice to elect to raise our children ourselves, share it with partner or family or use childcare is definitely a feminist issue. Where there is no choice there exists a metaphorical shackle and I stand by that statement.

Thank you evacuation for also standing up an saying you were that Mum too though with slightly different feelings. I am now off to book a couple more me days so I continue to exist.

Havent read the full thread so sorry if I am repeating what others have said, but maybe she needs a break and some time to herself I do

"I remember the bit where feminists tried to liberate women from the shackles of child-rearing. But perhaps I'm just that bit better read?"

I doubt it.

But I guess if you buy into the idea that raising children is a "shackle", rather than something worthwhile, then you're a different kind of feminist than I.

60 hours a week of being freed from the shackles of spending time with your children would be more than enough for most parents. And babies.

Totally agree with EvacuationWarden

Some of you must have really high boredom thresholds to want to spend so much time with babies...

Have any of you judgy types considered that maybe sending the baby to childminder or nursery as normal is best for the child? Many children like their routine and get terribly unsettled if it's disrupted.

PS her H sometimes works over the weekend so takes days off during the week instead. On those days he also takes their DD to the cm. And I judge him for it just as much.

Pregnant, working and MNing in between and using a nursery. Because I don't even care enough about ds to provide him with one-to-one care.

I used to be not pregnant, not working and using a nanny!

Funny no it's because she works three days a week from about 8am to 6pm. Her H works FT and equally long days. Her baby is at the childminder from 7.30am to 6.30 pm for those three days.

She has told me before that her job is so knackering that she needs the two other days of the week to 'chill'. Therefore she also takes the baby to the cm for the same hours on the two other days.

Yes I'm being judgey but I think it's really sad that her baby is spending such a huge amount of time away from it's parents.

When my son was this small, I worked full time and because of where I worked, he was at cm 12 hours a day 5 days a week. As he got older, many days I would pick him up from hers and he would fall asleep for the night in the car on the way home (45 min journey) and I would cry for the rest of the way because I missed him so much and I felt so bad that I didn't see him more. I'd get him up stupidly early just to spend half an hour before work being with him.

Every possible minute I had I spent with him. But after 12 months of this I had a breakdown of sorts because it was totally unsustainable. I was going properly mad through sleep deprivation/guilt/worry/stress. When I finally did have a day off to myself I cried when I left the cms house to go back home because I felt so guilty about leaving my precious boy there whilst I did something for me. (Shock horror I did exactly what other posters have suggested, I got my hair cut ran some errands in town then went home to do just enough housework to stop my house being condemned before collapsing in a heap for a nap before I turned round and collected him again)

But I know now that if I don't take time like this for myself every so often I am going to be a poor excuse of a person. And whilst he is undeniably the most important thing in my life, and always will be, this doesn't mean that I am not important at all. It doesn't mean that the other responsibilities I have need to be totally ignored. One day off is not going to kill anyone, but it might just help save the mums' sanity (and I mean actual sanity, not "oh blimey I feel a bit crazy today" sanity)

Women need to be a bit nicer to each other- if we don't stick together and support each other, who the fuck else will?

I suppose if mum is working 12 hours days she might be tired

not yet Katie but it's only a matter of time and we have come close. Can I ask if you are being pregnant, working and using a CM?

only read a page or two but this has to be a journalist yes?

:o at Holy too.

Has anyone trotted out something along the lines of a baby needing it's mother? Or how only the care of a mother is best for little ones?

I only ask because I have quite bad morning sickness and I need to throw up so I can get on with some proper work.

Holy

badtaste amazing. Would it be OK if she worked FT? Is it because she choses to do something for herself rather than just work that you judge her?

Perhaps the OP could formulate a questionnaire for the mother about what she does/doesn't do in the middle of the night and then come back to us with the answers?! She could also include a section on what she plans to do on the day off, does she have any family nearby, does she work to pay the bills or because she wants to etc.

Cailin She doesn't need to do those things, they probably happen at the c/ms. The baby is 'socialising' there. You said that she wouldn't be spending any time "playing and chatting,"with the baby. I think it's not impossible that she does.

Sh

Somebody I know works PT but has a FT cm - because she needs her 'down time' apparently.

Her DD is still a baby. I think she's a very selfish mother. So shoot me

Juule- night time and daytime are different and arguing that they're not is really odd. I doubt she takes her child out for walks in the dead of night, or out to see friends, or feeds her meals.