Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

"but I don't consider school to be childcare. Do you?"

Probably a whole new thread but your children are cared for while they are there. So in that sense - yes. It covers some of the time that people are working when they would need childcare.

This thread has made me so sad and angry - why does everybody feel the need to judge other people's childcare arrangements, whether that's at home or out of the home? I think EvacuationWarden was so right further up the thread - life's tough enough for mothers without everybody turning on each other.

I think that's me and Mumsnet done. :(

Ah thanks lowflying. That helped a lot. I don't why I'm getting "all wibbly", I'm sure it's all the stress associated with this exam rather than this actual thread but I am genuinely surprised that people can have such a judgey stance on something that is no one's business but the parent's.

Juule - I've already said that I think it's different for babies, but I don't consider school to be childcare. Do you?

YeahThat - revising isn't "me time", is it? You're working. Just like this woman works, which nobody has said she shouldn't.

Gawd - staggered by this thread. Women beware women. Why can't we all support one another a bit more instead of CONSTANTLY judging?! I work FT, have a great nanny who is part of the family, miss my children a lot and live for spending time with them at the weekends. I work to provide for their future and, bluntly, I cannot imagine the pressure of having to provide and care for my chidren as a single mother like this woman clearly has to. OP - you seem to be deliberately shit stirring. You have no idea what this poor woman was doing on her day off. It is ONE DAY FFS. The child is clearly very well loved and cared for by you (and no doubt by the mother too). Can't you give htis poor woman a break. As one poster said, its not like she is disappearing for a week's holiday without the child.

If I was going to judge (which i'm not), i'd have more of an issue with the many mothers out there who don't work and use childcare while they lunch, gym, have their hair done etc. ..not take it out on a poor single mother who is taking one day off for (hopefully) some downtime (but it could be a hospital appointment etc) when all other time is devoted to her child and working full time.

Low my CM doesn't judge me thankfully and because I am a caring loving working parent I made sure to chose someone who would not pass on horrible judgy attitudes to my children

Baby-cuddling can be done all day Saturday and all day Sunday. Dental appointments, pill checks, posting/collecting parcels, remortgaging the house, shifting your ISAs, having the carpets cleaned or the floors sanded, talking to lawyers about divorce/probate/redundancy, job interviews and queuing at the CAB cannot. They can mostly technically be done with a baby in tow, but it would be far from ideal.

I do feel sorry for mother, baby and indeed father, because 60 hours a week childcare at 6 months old is not ideal, but the OP sounds very caring so I'm sure the baby is getting lots of personal attention from a single consistent person who is sensitive to their individual needs - we're not talking about a huge understaffed high turnover impersonal US nursery here.

Baby-cuddling can be done all day Saturday and all day Sunday. Dental appointments, pill checks, posting/collecting parcels, remortgaging the house, shifting your ISAs, having the carpets cleaned or the floors sanded, talking to lawyers about divorce/probate/redundancy, job interviews and queuing at the CAB cannot. They can mostly technically be done with a baby in tow, but it would be far from ideal.

I do feel sorry for mother, baby and indeed father, because 60 hours a week childcare at 6 months old is not ideal, but the OP sounds very caring so I'm sure the baby is getting lots of personal attention from a single consistent person who is sensitive to their individual needs - we're not talking about a huge understaffed high turnover impersonal US nursery here.

Yeah I am sure your CM is not judging you. I know mine isn't judging me, which is why I asked her to look after my children. Some peoples attitudes stink, try not to let it get to you.

Not read through it all but if it were me I could totally see taking the day to myself but would probably pick up early (or drop off late). But totally don't judge her if she didn't...

Re charging and knowing your income, my CM allows us two weeks holiday where we pay 50% but we have to let her know 30 days in advance. That seems pretty reasonable to me.

Oh stop being so frigging am-dram. You cant now assume your CM is judging you....unless you are particularly in need of something to feel all wibbly about?

Isn't part of that supporting the parents in their choices? If you're a CM why would a parent want to pay for the judgey attitude when there's plenty of it around for free?

The baby spends every weekend with her father? :o

This mother really needs to break free from the shackles of the presumption that she does all the childcare. :o

Recently dh had to take a day off work to look after Ds so I could have a minor operation. I probably looked fine but what would I have done with Ds when I went into be operated on if I didn't have dh? This woman (who pays your wages) does not have a dh so...

Oh and currently Ds is at nursery this afternoon whilst I'm at home. I plan to clean the oven and mould kill in the bathroom if it's alright with some of the posters on here? :)

having absolutely no babysitting I can understand totally why someone might want a day with no work and no DC.

Even as a stay at home mum I used to send DD2 to nursery one day a week.

If you can't just ask Granny to babbysit for a few hours, dentists, doctors, hairdressers, decorating, sorting draws, getting the car serviced, having a quiet pub lunch with DH etc. etc. etc are a nightmare.

Especially with a non sleeping 6 month old because you cant do them in the evening and not all small DC are going to appreciate long weekend trips to DIY stores or the high street. DD1 was great. DD2 was horrid.

OK I'm going to try and back away from this thread (why did I start to read it in the first place??)

For the posters who have made horribly judgemental comments, can I just say that you've made one real person very upset (and desperately try not to cry). I've been on mumsnet for a long time and never taken a thread to heart but this?

My ds who I love very much is with the CM today and has been the whole week (a total of 50 hrs) because I need to revise. I'm at home though. It makes me so so sad to think my CM thinks badly of me for this.

Athing do you feel like this just for babies or do you think a parent should take a child out of school for the day if they have a day off work?

in order to feel comfortable with her and know that she is not undermining me to my children while she looks after them, I need her to support me 100%.

It would be very easy for the CM to belie the attitude that mummy really ought to be with you today, but she's having her hair done, poor you DC

" i need her to be 100% behind me"

Dont you just need her to be really good at her job?

Of course it means more time.

Presuming she is an employee, this woman has a set number of AL days per year. They are part of the (not enormous) amount of time she has to spend with her baby.

She's choosing to spend one of them without her baby, thereby reducing the amount of time they spend together and increasing the time at childcare.

Obviously.

People keep saying it's only 1 day. I consider one day out of 25 to be quite a high proportion of days to miss with your baby.

Man or woman.

oh hello susie totally forgot it was your thread and yes still none of your business, and still hope my CM doesn't judge me like that. I need her to be 100% behind me not doing this about my decisions

Still not your business OP.

HTH

We live in Sweden where we are lucky that nurseries are heavily subsidised by the state. However, this means that they make their own rules about attendence. We are not allowed to send our DCs to nursery if one or both parents has a day off. The principle makes sense, but if I want to eg. have quality one on one time with one of our DDs, or get stuck into a non-child-friendly activity at home (diy, big clean, whatever) I can't have the kids there and have to scrape around for other arrangements. I find it a bit unfair personally. I would rather give my kids my full attention for something fun than drag them round the supermarket or similar.

I don't understand how anyone can make the assumption that the mother doesn't like being with her child just because she is taking a few hours to herself. She is a single parent working 60 hours a week, that must be absolutely exhausting. It seems more likely to me that she just needs a break. That hardly makes her a selfish or unfit mother