Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

Or d) the op offers an inadequate standard of care so is concerned that the child is left with her.

Really unless d) as specified above applied (which I seriously doubt the op thinks) it's nobody's business other than the mum's. Poor treatment of the child would be the only reason for a third party to have any interest in this and conversely if no poor treatment of the child = no issue.

So the OP wasn't just surprised and curious then.

Like I said, judgemental and unprofessional.

I expect she feels sad for the baby because the baby doesn't really know its mum if she has that much. I just think she can't understand like a lot of people on here why she would leave all her all day when she didn't need to but there are also lots on the thread that do so op I think you have got your answer it is normal.

If the OP was just surprised and curious, then why would she feel 'sad for the baby' and assume 'mum would want to be with baby'

Nope, she was just being judgemental about mums choices. Very unprofessional.

You are right HCCB. That is another valid angle on and maybe everyone is reading more into this than face value.

agnes or C) she was surprised at the mum's decision and was just curious to know whether it is unusual or whether it's common practice.

Agnesf - I had to wonder a bit about a dad having the baby the entire weekend, when the mum apparently never sees him/her! Sounds really unlikely. That would mean the mum literally never spent a full day with the baby. Would someone really do that?

Following on from above - there is a load of speculation on this thread about why a single mum should want a day off and assumption that if the dad picks up and drops off on Fri/ Mon he must have had baby over weekend.

there are millions of reasons why mum would want day off rangin from lazy tosser to worthy person looking after agin parent with alzheimers.

similarly for dad pick up/ drop off e.g dad is loving daddy and looks after child over weekend/ dad is control freak who makes mum work all week and then denies her contact at weekend. Who knows?

Dear susiemumof - can you please remind us why you actually asked this question?

Why do you want to know from other CMs if this is normal?

As far as I can see there are 2 angles here:

a) you are worried that the child you care for is spending too much time in child care

or

b) you are worried that even if your mindees parents have holiday they still want to send their chidlren to you.

If it is a) - I think you either need to speak to the parents or if you want to use MN as a sounding board - be bit clearer about your concerns

If it is b) - you need to set out to your mindees parents clearly exactly when you want your holidays. Most parents would be happy to know all this stuff in advance so they can plan accordingly.

and doing it for money
cm self employed,not an altruistic act
so let's be clear, cm minds for money.keep inane opinion to self
whilst working parents do a paid job to pay cm fees

I don't think she would judge you for employing her, I would imagine she would be grateful for that. But she wouldn't be human if she didn't form opinions about you. As your CM she is much more involved in your life than a property manager is, because she knows you and your children well and sees you every day. It's her job to know about the children and to educate and care for them so obviously she is going to have to reconcile the way you bring up your children with her own ideas. How she can do that without judging I really don't know. She's hardly just going to accept everything you say without any opinion - she's going to listen to what you say, then match it to what she feels she can do, and find a compromise - all of that involves judgement every single day.

I deal in commercial property management. It would not enter my mind to judge those folk who invest in property and ask me to manage it. Why would it enter a CM's mind to judge me for asking her to look after my DC?

yes how dare op feel sorry for a baby
dont accommodate working mums if it causes such consternation - working mums pay Susie wage.she needs to remember that. choosing to be cm is acceptance of minding kids in mums absence

The OP is getting a really hard time here and she doesn't deserve it! There have been some very judgemental comments on this thread, but not from the OP as far as I can see.

The thing is Funnys, you can't stop a person from judging, no matter how much you pay them. You have every right to expect them not to pass their views on to your children, but how they think in their own head is their own business and you're not going to change that.

the hard working mum doing 60hr needs pat on back
susie needs to know who pays the fees and to wind her neck in

its not the money, it's the fact that I am paying for a certain service, and judging is not part of it. If I wanted someone to judge, I'd drop the DC of at the Mags Court for the day.

You might expect that Funnys but whether you get it is another thing. I don't think the amount of money means anything really.

I wouldn't send my DCs to you OP, sorry. I think I would pick up on your disapproval and life is too short for that.

I wonder if you have the same disapproval if the dad has a day off work or is it just the mother you are disapproving of?

I like the poster (sorry, can't remember who) who suggested a tick box for what parents are and aren't allowed to do with their spare time. And if they get too many crosses the CM is allowed to have a 'sad face photo' in the Daily Mail.

afaic the mum has done nothing wrong - she is paying for your services and using them - does it matter if she goes to work - goes home to do housework or sleep or goes to the gym/doctor/shopping

she may work 60hrs a week and may have weekends free if dad has her, but that doesnt matter

im a nanny not a cm but there are days when mb or db dont work, but i do - they may go in to town and get a few bits done, they may bum around at home on the play station (db)

so yes it can be normal

and if I'm paying you £1,200 pcm I expect you to care for my DC and treat my family with respect

so wise up to working parent pays cm wages
your not paid for your opinion,nor is it routinely sought
get on with watching kids for cash

Cailin quite, a good CM should never bad mouth a parent to their child. I'm afraid some do

Plenty of people shouldn't be doing the jobs they're doing scottishmummy, and that doesn't stop them. A lot of CMs I know do the job because it fits around their own children, not because they have a great desire to look after other people's children. They are lovely, kind people, but they do the job for money, not for any other reason.