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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Parents sending children to cm while they are on holiday themselves

663 replies

susiemumof · 17/05/2012 12:29

Not looking for a argument or aibu type thread.

Am new to cm and have a 6mo mindee 60 hours per week, mum has a day off next week (which she did not even need to tell me about) but has said she will still send said mindee as she would like a day to herself.

I actually offer a large discount on days when mindees are not with me so can't even put it down to wanting to get her monies worth.

Was just really wondering how common other childminders have found this?

It's obviously no problem for me to have the child and I am loving my new job, it just makes me a bit sad for the baby itswim.

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scottishmummy · 19/05/2012 09:01

agree!good childcare is a fab thing
and working parents are significant contributors
doing own jobs,and pay fees that maintain cm and nursery employment

I'm v fortunate having excellent nursery.I appreciate the staff hard work

AThingInYourLife · 19/05/2012 08:16

My DDs are going to visit their old fucking childminder today. They adore her.

They are very happy at the fucking childminder's they go to now.

A good fucking childminder is a precious thing indeed.

bigpaws · 19/05/2012 06:15

Funny, please don't refer to us as 'fucking childminder(s)'. We are hard working women (and often mums ourselves) too.

FunnysInLaJardin · 18/05/2012 22:56

incidentally Faye, not that it matters a jot, but my DC goes to his CM 9am-3.30pm when his dad collects him, so about 30 hrs pw. Plus after school care for DS1 thats my £1,200pcm. I live in quite an expensive area, and so no not guilt that makes me comment, just anger at poor women who have to work 60hrs a week, and be judged by their fucking CM. HTH

FunnysInLaJardin · 18/05/2012 22:47

so did we achieve a consensus? Judge not lest yea be judged etc?

eastnorth · 18/05/2012 21:05

Yep agree this is going round in circles. I am going to talk to my husband and have some wine it's Friday after all.

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 21:05

off you trot then
I'm hoping to hear what fripperies 60hr week buy

redglow · 18/05/2012 21:03

Scottishmummy you are repeating yourself a bit now you made your point. I think we could be on here all night but it is getting a bit boring now. I am gonna look at something else too.

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 21:00

go spend time with kids
60hr week you work
they will be gagging to see you

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 20:58

you invited comment
and got it
sad isn't neutral state
you said you presumed parents who work long hours ( like yourself on a 60hr week) would want spend extra time off with child. that's a v clear judgement.

Original poster
susiemumof · 18/05/2012 20:57

Thank you very much red Smile

I'm going to take fayes advice now anyway and go explore elsewhere on mumsnet. I've only posted a few times so need to get stuck in a bit more.

Words on a screen don't bother me, bring it on keyboard gangsters Grin

OP posts:
bigpaws · 18/05/2012 20:57

Susie, you are right to leave contract changes for another thread!!!

Putting the original question to one side, there are a lot of people on here that should be ashamed of how they have commented. Bang out of order how they try to provoke a childminder V's mummy divide. Really no need.

monkeymoma · 18/05/2012 20:57

plus, since she works such long hours, at some point she has to get all her paperwork/TCs in order, run/tidy the house, shop, clean...
a day off to herself doesn't necessarily = a day at the spa, maybe she will be catching up with urgent housekeeping/paperwork - hardly fun quality time for the baby?
and maybe she wouldn't! maybe she'll sit on her arse painting her toe nails
maybe she has personal things to do that she does not want to discuss with her CM

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 18/05/2012 20:55

susie just don't look at this thread anymore. There are some of us here that can see you meant no harm and understand that it is possible to be a 'bit sad' for the baby, whilst also supporting the mum. There are posters here who just want an argument and will go on and on and on. Leave them to it.

redglow · 18/05/2012 20:54

You sound a lovely childminder and you don't deserve all this nastiness on here. Back to your original question yes it is not unusual to look after children when the mum takes a days holiday. A lot of mums where I live are obsessed with me time and losing their identity because they are a mum, can't really understand it but each to their own.

Original poster
susiemumof · 18/05/2012 20:53

Fanjo- while you are looking for that post which states I said mindee spent to long in childcare can you also find the one that shows I was asking people to agree/disagree if it was sad or not.

OP posts:
monkeymoma · 18/05/2012 20:52

actually, I'm a "bit sad" for a child at DSs nursery whose parents ALWAYS take him out for their full (very long) breaks off work and any other day they have off.

That particular child took aaaaages to settle in, and he is not one of the children who can slot back in after a break, the settling in starts ALL OVER AGAIN (at which point I switch to being sad for my DS because said child lashes out when re-settling). Once he's in the swing of it he's okayish, but every time they take him out it's back to square one.

DS isn't like that, he settles easily, can take him out and pop him back in and he's happy as larry to be back BUT if he doesn't go he misses it and asks about it. He doesn't notice if we're actually away on holiday, but if he doesn't go on a regular nursery day when I just have a random day off then he does, so we tend to send him anyway - he loves the company of his little friends there, its part of his routine, he's learning the days of the week at the mo and accociates them with what normally happens on those days

all that aside, it is none of your business WHY the child is left in your care

FayeGovan · 18/05/2012 20:51

susie, back away.....

Original poster
susiemumof · 18/05/2012 20:50

Bigpaws- I am unsure. Feel it may be a bit mean to advertise myself to new families as offering this then withdrawing it. It's all a big learning curve.

Ironically enough with my own dd being so young I thought that by offering this I may get the occasional day when it was just dd and I (not expecting it but thought it would be nice if it occasionally happened)

Anyway I think any new advice I am looking for would be better kept for another thread!

OP posts:
YourFanjoIsNotAHandbag · 18/05/2012 20:50

So you wasn't asking a simple childminding question then, you were saying it was sad, and asking people to agree or disagree with that.

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 20:48

she pays your fees doesnt need or ask for needs the hired help sympathy
given you also work 60hr week,you don have a leg to stand on

Original poster
susiemumof · 18/05/2012 20:46

"it just makes me a bit sad for the baby"

Not exactly accusing her off being the victim of neglect is it!

I am "a bit" sad for the baby, I am surprised that the mum is still sending her when she has a day off. Does not mean I don't think she should be working at all like what has been mentioned on here does it?

OP posts:
bigpaws · 18/05/2012 20:45

Anyway Susie, have you decided to change your contracts to charge full pay for child's absence due to holiday/sickness? You might find it a good idea to.

scottishmummy · 18/05/2012 20:45

nope
you've been called on v judgey mean posts

eastnorth · 18/05/2012 20:44

Think you got your answer it is quite normal..