Live-out nannies and their lunches

I have been a nanny for 25yrs now , no it is definatley not okkay to buy what you like and then ask for reimbursement!! would YOU like an unexpected extra taken away from your wages??
You eat at the house with the child,,yes you dont want the same marmite everyday. Give it a week or two to see what sort of food is lunchable!! if their fridge is truly bare most of the time (my family's is-I do love em tho!) ask if theres anything for lunch or should you pick something up? i often pick up hummous and a bag of carrots! This will prompt either..oh god sorry, yes of course, heres some change...
or, a look of total blankness! in which case you need to have a word, ask if they could add some tuna or whatever to the shopping list for your lunches.
They should feed you. But you dont expect smoked salmon everyday!
good luck

Karoleann If you already have something in the fridge the nanny wouldn't need to buy it would she?! I'm talking about things you don't have. The difference between her adding it to the list and you buying it or her buying it with money from the kitty....that's the difference I'm struggling to understand?

Did the mother in your last job tell you to feed the child marmite on toast every day or is that all you made of your own choice?

I agree with Fraktal and Bonsoir. Nanny and baby should be eating pretty much the same thing.

Babies/toddlers shouldn't be having toast & marmite for lunch everyday, they need to experience lots of new tastes.

holy - If I've already got ham in the fridge then the cost is nothing extra, if the nanny buys extra ham then it costs more and it may not all get eaten.

Why is you buying some bagels and ham from Sainsuburys different from her buying some bagels and ham from Sainsburys? The cost to you is the same.

I wouldn't be happy with my nanny buying something in. She puts things she would like for lunch on the shopping board and has that. It does vary, but it's usually things like bagels with ham/cheese, pasta and salady things. If she's babysitting pizza or fish cakes, noodles etc.

I think it's a great sign that your family are asking what you have.. I interpret that as "what should we get in for you" (hopefully!).

Our nannies have always been explicitly welcome to eat with the children - lunch has always been ham / cheese / tuna sandwich type things with yoghurt / fruit / crisps - dinner has been bolognaise,stir fry, pizza/salad type things.

I have a live out nanny - I buy diet cokes, cereal bars and yoghurts that I know she likes (because I have asked her) in addition to the usual family stuff which she is welcome to / included in. I also get her a secret stash of biscuits for when the children are out of sight.

I would not be in any way open to reimbursing for own food - if our nanny asked me that, I would be a bit peeved actually.

Many employers are very reasonable about nannies lunch but some are resentful and begrudge it so it is possible that the OP's previous employer did expect her to live off of marmite toast.

in my jobs I've been fairly lucky but did have one where the employer made snide remarks about providing my lunch and I have always eaten with the children or if a tiny baby involved I ate Pasta, Baked Potato, Salad ect.

tbh most nannies i know who are live out get their lunch provided for them if at work such as sandwich/jacket/beans on toast/salad/pasta etc and if out then use the kitty to buy something 'normal' ie sandwich

why did you bring your own lunch in previous jobs esp if employers said they would provide lunch? surely they didnt expect you to eat marmite toast every day?

Depends what you count as a baby. Most people don't go back to work until around 6 months but an under 1 is almost universally referred to as a baby in nanny job ads.

Didn't the op say a baby? I assumed she meant one that spent it's time lying down

Mmmm not sure I agree. From 6 months I think it's important that they're sitting at the table and seeing people eating and being enthusiastic about food which comes under the umbrella of modelling behaviour at the table (table manner was poor wording on my part).

Yes, Fraktal, you're right....and i knew somebody would point that out although it seems the op will be looking after a baby so modelling good table manners probably won't be high on the agenda for a while, unless remonstrating about burping, wind and bringing up little bits of sick counts

mirry most people can nip out in their lunch break and buy something.... plus most people don't have jobs which involve modelling good table manners

My nanny buys her own unless she takes DS out then she can use the kitty. However DS still has a nap from 1pm. When he stops napping, I'll offer for her to eat with ds if she wants.

Although most people who go out to work (which is what the poster is doing) buy their own lunch.

I don't see the problem with telling them what you eat for lunch and them put it on the shopping? Is this not why they asked?

They have asked you what you normally eat for lunch, this - to me - indicates they are intending to make sure those foods are available for you... why not just see how it goes and if there isn't much in that you like, then ask if they can add a few things to the shopping each week.

I'm with bonsoir - I/nanny eat the same as DS and have done since he was 6 months old. Admittedly he didn't eat much in the beginning and if I had a salad he had a few cucumber sticks, a lettuce leaf to suck on/shred etc but it was essentially the same.

This is the norm for nannies do just explain it and there shouldn't be a problem.

Babies start eating soup, pasta, risotto etc for lunch pretty soon! Even if this baby is under six months, there's only going to be a period of months before eating together becomes reality.

I think it is perfectly reasonable for a live-out nanny to expect to eat lunch with the children and to eat the same thing as them

What, milk and rusks - this is a baby???

It is not reasonable (or allowable for tax reasons) for you to buy lunch and ask for reimbursement, but you could agree with the parents that they provide bread/cheese/salad ingredients for you to make lunch - when your charge gets older of course then you can be eating the same as them, except less mushy!

I think it's reasonable to buy the same sort of stuff as you would have at home while you are shopping for the baby, and keep that food in the fridge at work and only eat it at work. It's not reasonable to ask your employers to sub your home grocery bill by an amount you decide is equivalent to the cost of the food you bring from home. That's a different thing and I think might technically be tax evasion. Evading a ridiculous piddly amount of tax, but given that the chancellor said in the last budget that he was going to clamp down on illegal payments to Nannies, it's just not worth it.

I think it is perfectly reasonable for a live-out nanny to expect to eat lunch with the children and to eat the same thing as them: soup, pasta, risotto etc. I always did this when my DD was little as I wanted to set her a decent example of sitting down to a shared meal with an adult at least once a day. In the evening I often made her different food to the rest of the family and I got my food highs then!

I often have what the toddler has, for example:
scrambled eggs, peas and toast.
pasta dish of some kind
rice and veg
cheese sandwiches, cucumber and whatever we have baked (cheese and marimte twirls)
Sausage, mash, veg.
Fishfingers, beans, peas, potatos

All that sort of thing, nothing too exciting.