Feeling second best to nanny's other job!

OMG, you are still employing the world's cheekiest pisstaking nanny - WHY????

You have 2 choices:

1. Toughen up
2. Get rid

Pick one.

As a nanny I say get rid too. She is taking the piss! I work for two families on different days and they are both equally important to me and they both have their own challenges and learning curves. I didn't even ask my employer to pay my ofsted reg (though that was because I felt the experience gained with the family would be more valuable) and I would certainly not get them to pay my first aids or take days off for it unless I desperately had too! There are so many courses on weekends available that she is just pushing her luck. you do have to toughen up with her and I reckon get a new nanny if you aren't happy in other ways.

I am that you have still kept this nanny on after all the trouble and difficulty and upset she has caused you in the past.

Please, please please come down hard on her. She gives nannies a bad name and this is just more crap on top of all the other stuff she has thrown at you. 90% of nannies are lovely. It won't take you long to find one you deserve. Tell her she needs to sort her first aid out at the weekends, and while you are at it, tell her you need someone for three days, and if she is not willing to increase her hours to suit your needs you will have to make her redundant.

Honestly, once you get a good nanny in place, you will regret all the time you will have spent keeping this one on.

i say it again - your nanny is taking the piss coz you allow her

tho i will say that i wont pay for ofsted reg, it doesnt benefit me at all and if anything just causes hassle for the nanny when she gets paid,ie often monthly salary comes in drips and drabs throughout the month - esp if mb and db use vouchers and if a nannyshare then my friend who has a 3 and 2 day job gets paid 6 times yes 6 a month

tbh all the job interviews i have been to most dont want/need a reg nanny but those who do , then i say that they pay all costs and i even have in my contract stating that - and they are fine with that

so in your circumstances then nanny should get BOTH employers to pay and i would tell her to find a weekend course and do the first aid then - like us normal nannies do

Another nannies opinion - get rid.
You are the employer, yet she is dictating the terms of employment. Crazy. Maybe have a blunt talk with her to say that you were shocked at her difference in attitude wrt yourselves and her other employer and ask her outright if she still wishes to work for you. If she does then you expect her to understand that it is not easy for you to have her take time off, and you will be implementing SSP in future. I think her behaviour warrants a warning.

Also I think I'm right in saying that you are not part of a share, but your nanny has two part time jobs. So it is totally up to the nanny to negotiate with each family. Don't get caught up in trying to solve things yourself.

I also wanted to try to reassure you that there are an increasing number of nannies willing to look at part time positions and that your children will be absolutely fine with changing nannies. So please don't over compromise to keep this lady. When you have a nanny that is the right fit for your family the difference will be amazing.

Good luck!

Why is that terrible blapbird? I have often seen it recommended that the two halves of a nanny share talk to each other about any issues affecting them jointly - while this may not be a technical nanny share (recruiting jointly or sharing care) they certainly share the services of the nanny.

you can't contact her other employers that's terrible!

I can`t get the strikethrough to work ,sorry.

I think you are letting her walk over you a little bit also the other family and you do not seem to have the kind of relationship that mine do,they do not know each other but are considerate of the others situations especially regarding work and will ofter swop days around with each other if one mum has an emergency at work /important job on .you would perhaps be better off speaking to your nanny about thisWhile looking for another nanny

You're welcome! Please get round knackeredmother's house and show her 'orrible nanny how it's done!

Thanks bbcessex!!

see.. you need a lovely normal nanny like eurycantha

Well Ms. Knackeredmother.. you can become 'unsoft'.. it just takes a bit of faking until you feel it!

You really are now at the point of no return. She has pushed it too far.

I would tell her, "I've emailed Family 2 to discuss an equitable way to do this - I am awaiting their response".. put some of the onus back on them.

If Mum 2 does refuse to pay, then you only pay half. About time nanny got a bit of a shock re: Mum 2 really.

You're not soft, you're nice. She's a cahhhhh (that's Essex for 'Cow' ) and you and your children deserve better x

Hi I have two jobs, a two day which i ve been doing for a year and a three
day that I`ve been doing for four years.I treat them exactly the same,they are both paying me .She is really taking the mickey out of you [as said above].I always take my first aid at the weekend.My bosses pay my ofsted registration renewal each year.

Well this is where you have to play hard ball.

If she won't pay, then you won't either. Your nanny will no doubt have something to say about that, but hold out until Family 2 contribute.

What have you got you lose? Your nanny doesn't sound like golddust to hang on to at all costs, so hold your nerve.

Hello - poor you. I quite understand why you're keeping her on - it IS hard to change etc.. but I would have a look around.. she is a total nightmare.

How DARE she care so little about you, and have the nerve to let you know that she puts herself out for the other family?

We paid for our nanny's Ofsted because we advertised and said we would. The first aid course was £70 and was run on 2 Sundays.

Our first Ofsted nanny came with registration, and we paid her slightly more because of it.. all renewal and reg costs were down to her.

If you ARE going to pay, then both you and the 2nd family should split it. Otherwise both they and the nanny are totally mocking you...

I don't like the sound of her.. therefore you should get rid !!!

I paid for my last nannies first aid renewal on the basis that she did it in her own time ie over the weekend and that she stayed with us for xxxx. Or paid us back.
Depending on what her contract says I would stop paying sick pay/compassionate leave ( you need to pay ssp ). She's taking the mickey.
I would also consider telling her you need three days a week and letting finding someone else, though I would wait til a bit later in the year, lots of nannies seem to change jobs in September time.

'But Holy, surely they have a greater choice of jobs/ better employability if registered'

I think it's probably going that way, but as I say it hasn't been around long enough for it to have become 'expected' yet. Often parents simply want the nanny to have the ability and willingness to register with Ofsted rather than actually funding it themselves. I don't think there is a 'technical' rule yet, you're responsibility to pay is really ruled by what other parents do and all the nannies I know (which is a lot) have Ofsted paid for by parents. At the moment I would say refusal to pay limits your choice of nannies rather than the nannies refusal to pay limiting her job choices.

Just out of interest does being a member of your professional regulatory body have any benefit to you (outside of greater choice of jobs/better employability) or is it soley to your employer?