My 20 month-old calls his childminder 'mummy'

thats not good.... :/

Ah...now I've caught up and realised that a) you've sorted it and b) my response might have been a bit disproportionate.

Sorry, we had a nanny who lost sight of her 'boundaries' with my dcs and I don't think I'll ever quite recover...!

Glad you've got it under control :)

Glad you said something I wouldn't like that, although my dd went through a phase of calling me the childminders name - that was

Haven't read all the responses, but I would have a huuuuuge problem with that. It's one thing that lots of children call their carers 'mummy' by mistake sometimes, its quite another for her to actively encourage that, or to set herself up in competition with you for that 'title'.

Your ds has one mummy, and that's you. No-one else gets to muscle in on that.

Tbh, I'm shocked that none of the others parents have complained, but I would change cms right away. I know he's happy and settled, but he has only been there for 3 months....she's a bunny boiler, and you really don't want her looking after your child....

It is not uncommon at all for children to call their caregiver (mother or not) Mummy especially when so young. I have a mindee who always calls me Mummy, and his last CM too! I always refer to myself by name to discourage but with this lad I am getting nowhere fast!
It does sound like your minder could have been demonstrating how clever your son is to identify different people, rather than to encourage him to call her Mummy.
BUT I wouldn't like it and it shows that she is letting him call her Mummy without correction, so yes if it bothers you have a word with her.

Oh that's good you sorted it with her- a great childminder is worth her weight in gold, you wouldn't want to lose one over something like that.

Just came on to say my DS (now 19mo) went through a phase at about 11/12 months of calling me by his childminder's name. I didn't mind at first but I did get to the point where I felt a bit sad not hearing him call me mummy. He now has a different childminder (because #1 retired sadly). He currently calls his new CM by her dog's name!! So it really is an area that can cause a bit of confusion to a young child!!

That's great you got it sorted.

oh good, I like it when it all works out!

The little girl I mind keeps calling me 'mummy' because I have DS1 at home too. I make a point of referring to myself in the third person when talking to her and as 'mum' to DS1 because kids need to differentiate between the role of the minder and role of their mother.

Talk to your minder and also have a chat to find out how the other parents feel. This is your DD so you get final say if you are not comfortable with something.

I am surprised your minder is encouraging it.

Yep I too have been called all sorts from My christian name which begins with an M and ends with a Y, easy I suppose to get mixed up with Mummy, Mum, Teachers name, TAs name, ex Nannys name, ex Childminders name doesnt bother me just gently correct them, but mostly (my mindees are that bit older) they tend to correct themselves anyway.
My 2 use my christian name when the minded kids are here.

I do find it rather odd that she doesnt correct them, I second what everyone else says and have a quiet word about it.

She sounds like a bit of an idiot to be honest. I am always extremely aware of parental sensitivities like this, of course littlies do call me mum sometimes but I always correct them. A good childminder has to manage parents feelings and be very tactful.

Have a word and no are right to feel cross about this.

I think at best it's insensitive of her not to anticipate that you might find this hurtful. I have to say that all the little ones I have cared for have called me Mum or Mummy or Mama at some stage in their development, and in some cases this has been a difficult habit to break, but I have gently corrected them whether or not a parent was present (and been thankful that they have seldom done it when real Mum has been around). My own children often call me by my Christian name too. I agree you should raise it with her and hopefully she will wake up to her tactlessness and behave more appropriately.

yes, I would ask her to explain

very odd for her to encourage being called Mummy by the children she minds, and yes, confusing for the children

My own children called me by my first name quite often, as they were used to hearing me called it by the tinies

I think it's normal for a child to call their CM (or nursery worker or even teacher!) Mummy. MY DS called his CM Mummy when he was about 2 as he didn't have a lot of clear words and Mummy got a response. He was always very clear that she was a mummy but I was his Mummy IYSWIM. What I think is odd is her encouraging it in this way. My CM used to correct him in a nice way like this:

DS " Mummy, dink peas."
CM " Yes littlegrumpy Susan will get you a drink."

Maybe you could encourage her to do that sort of thing?

Good luck you are not unreasonable to be upset by this or to speak to her about it.

I too have come across children this age calling any adult looking after them 'Mummy' as they seem to think it is the noun for a caregiver. My friends toddler, who has a new baby brother, talked of as 'BabyTom' has started calling her grown up siblings 'babyJoe', BabyAndrew' etc.

But a cm, or anyone, encouraging a child to call them Mummy when they are not is odd.

I would ask her why she does it, and you are concerned about it causing confusion.

I too assumed you meant that the dcs accidently called her Mummy when distracted or tired, and was going to say - perfectly normal. But her telling them to is definitely odd. I would say to her that I'm not happy with him being confused like this and what would she prefer to be called.... Jane ? Aunty Jane ? Mrs Smith ? and see which she prefers. Make it clear though that the children have their own Mums so obviously that's not an option.

This childminder sounds very odd. You can only have one mum. its like she thinks its great the child is calling her mum.

Hmm..bit odd for her to encourage it, I think.

My childminder's elderly father used to help her and the kids did call him Grandpa Charlie (or in DS's case "Papa Char-wee") but mummy is different I think.

Could it be that her name sounds like mummy if said by a little person - I've got a 20 month old mindee who calls me mama, simply cos it's close to my name and easy for him to say. However, if I thought he was calling me mummy I would def correct him - it would be weird and wrong to encourage it!

This is creepy.

Some kids go through a phase of calling all female caregivers 'mummy'.

Almost all kids, will at some point, call a teacher/nanny/childminder 'mummy' by mistake.

That's all normal, but for the childminder to be encouraging him to call her that is a bit weird imo.

I would say to her 'mummy is the word DS uses for me, so I'd rather we encourage him to call you something different so he isn't confused and we know what/who he's talking about'.