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Original poster

Extra pay for playdates

56 replies

littlesue · 21/03/2012 00:18

Nanny has asked for extra pay for playdates from the other mother. I won't be there as I work FT, neither is the other mother. I have 1 DS. It's not in the contract as it hasn't come up before as we have playdates on the weekend when I am around. Nanny has asked for 70% extra on her hourly rate, which I will pay as I would never ask the other mother to pay so her DS can come over for a playdate. What do other nannies do? I can see nanny's POV as it is an extra child.

Also if my DS goes to a playdate elsewhere do I pay my nanny to stay at home? Nanny would prefer not socialising as she is shy and awkward with adults and has no nanny friends so cannot set up playdates herself.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 21/03/2012 07:20

shes worked for you for 7mths and has had no plays dates or seeing other nannies/mums?? Shock

'thud'

blondes faints

do you want your child to grow up with some friends and learn social skills/sharing etc?

personally i think your nanny is weird and also a cheeky bitch

i am assuming when your child her charge goes on a playdate that you will be deducting 70% of her salary then?? Grin

playdates - and i know how much mn LOVE that expression Wink are fun and beneficial to both child and adult

it would be different if the mum needed childcare for the day and discussed payment but in the end the decision ends with you as you are the employer ie the boss!!

Fraktal · 21/03/2012 04:20

It depends why. If it's a child coming over after school because they're friend's then no of course not!

If the other mother needs to palm off her DC onto someone else for a few hours then maybe because your nanny is being used as childcare then maybe (reciprocal favours aside).

In this case it sounds like it's just for the children's benefit and is part and parcel if her duties. Sometimes he will go to playdates without her and sue should still be paid, although by her logic if extra child = more then no child = nothing....

juneybean · 21/03/2012 00:41

I'd definitely not ask the other mother, that's just weird :/

Original poster
littlesue · 21/03/2012 00:37

I am happy for nanny to arrange playdates but in the 7 months she has worked for us she has not arranged one because she doesn't socialise with other nannies or chat with the other mothers at school. There is no expectation from me to arrange playdates. The expectation is coming from DS who sees other kids in his class going to each other's houses after school. Other mother asked if her DS could come over, I just thought why not the kids will have fun.

Thanks for replies - just wanted to get an idea of what is normal practice.

OP posts:
juneybean · 21/03/2012 00:26

I'm not sure, the only time I've had a playdate the other mother was there... depends who arranged it, I might feel differently if my bosses EXPECTED me to do it I'd prefer that they ask in advance ... but if I arranged it I wouldn't want paying extra for it :/

marriedtoagoodun · 21/03/2012 00:25

not sure of the definitive employee/employer answer here (as in what is in contract etc and whether it should/should not have been stated explicitively - although I would have said not) but I do feel on a personal level it is a bit off of the nanny. If you were setting a regular once every week activity that would be one thing but as an ad hoc play date surely this should just come under her normal duties. Also depending on the age of your DS it will be easier for her to have two children amusing themselves I would have thought for at least a proportion of the time, and as for snacks and drinks etc it does not take that much longer to prepare thngs for two children rather than one. I think you are being remarkably kind to even think about paying her the extra.