Extra pay for playdates

If it was for a whole day, I'd pay my nanny extra. If it was an afterschool paydate then I wouldn't pay more.

Its part of my job for my chrages to have and go on play dates the younger two have one at least once a week sometimes two. Indeed such a lovely day today i suspect that we might have one tonight. I am fairly shy but there is no way that it would stop me asking. Its a fairly small school and think that we have had most of the class over. Its nice when we go to the park or days out as usually bump into some one that we know. Its good for the children learning to share table maners differant games to play

Hi,

I find this very weird to be honest. I am a nanny and I love playdates, they make my day a bit easier and I want my charges to socialise. Usually the mum/nanny of the other child/ren is there is well but I would never ask for more money if I would look after them on my own. It is part of a nanny's job. Cheeky and weird nanny.

Maybe she doesn't want to have playdates and thinks if she asks for extra money you will say no to the playdates.

No. don't agree to this. Playdates are not chargeable, just part of the job.

I find it odd too tbh. I am a shy and extremely socially awkward nanny, yet I would still like to organise social things for my charges! (Can't for various reasons at the moment though :( )
I'm really looking forward to it even because nannying is bloody lonely. Not wanting the adult there is fair enough though, but she shouldn't get paid extra as playdates are part of the reason why parents choose nannies isn't it? So that their children can have last minute playdates and have friends over for tea on occasion?

Callaird: That's awful!

I have in my contract that I require extra payment for looking after extra children, this is because I have worked for families that have really taken the piss, invited friends over with children then expected me to look after them, one family had 8 friends over with babies around a year, shut themselves in the lounge and left me with the babies in the playroom, most of them screaming to get out. (This is after I made two cakes for the coffee morning. Not one of the parents thanked me, not even my boss, I made it clear that I am my charges nanny, if people want experienced child care, they pay for it)

My insurance doesn't cover me to look after loads of children.

That said, if it is just occasionally and the other parents reciprocate, then of course I wouldn't expect added payment!

Having friends over is a perk for nannies, as long as the children actually get along, the children play together and means nanny can play with siblings or do other things in peace. Or of course, get the children to help bake a cake/s for a tea time treat.

I've never heard of a nanny wanting extra pay for a playdate, it's just part of the job.

If it was childcare then she'd have a point, but a playdate no way!

Heswall That was very good of your nanny not to ask for extra pay, but I hope you offered anyway?

In my experience a good Nanny arranges lots of playdates and doesn't charge extra. They are part of her job in developing your LO. She really needs to socialise more and talk to other Nannies and parents, it is part of her job.

... So don't underestimate the effect of seeing his caregiver shy away from interacting with others and acting like it's to be feared and avoided, I mean.

Perhaps as your nanny hates being social she assumes the only motivation for a playdate must be childcare rather than fun!

Regardless, this would really worry me. The DCs with nannies at my DCs school are often the most sociable - I can understand a one day a week nanny preferring not to host but a f/t nanny surely has that in her remit.

Come to think of it, the first playdates my DC went on both had nannies hosting.

If you host on weekends that does help - we often do that too - but it's not the same really and I feel for your little boy asking to have other kids round (if he's asking you he must be asking nanny too), and being told no.

I'm socially awkward and my DC1 definitely picked up some traits

Under certain circumstances I would have liked to have been paid. When friends of the family's child was brought round for the entire day so the Mum could attend appointments, and I was given no choice but to care for said child is one example of that. Then when the Mum turned up with flowers to say thank you and handed them to my employer I felt like a prize mug who had had the piss well and truly taken out of me.

The odd playdate though, no. So long as it's reciprocated every now and again.

I see that differently Heswall.

But as a nanny to 1 pre-schooler I wouldn't ask for extra money - unless it was as actual childcare ie I need to be at a meeting between 10 and 4 and could you have DC instead of just a playdate.

I love playdates both ones where mums and other nannies stay but also ones where they drop and run!

I find it a bit strange that the other mother asked if her child could come over rather than asking your child over to theirs so wonder if there is an element of needing child are which led your nanny to ask for money so I would double check with her.

My nanny has looked after 7 other children in addition to my 3 at our house whilst all the mothers and I got drunk attended a jamie oliver party in the garden it wouldn't have occurred to her to ask for more money.
There has to be give and take in the nanny/employer relationship.

Both my charges have playdates every week (sometimes on the same day) the youngest tends to be a case of nanny/parent staying and the eldest has friends over after school, in turn they both go to friends houses for playdates, imo its part of my job to encourage them to make friends and learn social skills, I certainly don't expect any extra pay for it.

The only time I have received money for looking after additional children is when my bosses sister comes to stay and usually wants a day to visit friends, shop etc so I look after her children alongside my charges, but that is actually needing childcare not just having friends to play and even then I just usually ask for £10 extra for the day (9-4ish) as they are well behaved and I know when she gets back I can finish early as she is happy to look after my charges so it is an arrangement that benefits us both.

Your nanny is being very cheeky! Is it her first nanny job? As I've never heard of a nanny asking for more pay for playdates, if she worked in nurseries perhaps she thinks that she gets paid per child

No way!!! This is a benefit of a nanny over a childminder (usually).

Weird weird weirdo nanny alert

What wld she say if you have another DC? 70% more please?

Odd odd odd, be wary, don't pay, tell her the terms, get her to be more socially portable with your poor son, and look out for a new less weird nanny!!

I can't imagine a situation where a mother asks if her child can come over to your house! Why not at her house? Probably the nanny feels a bit under pressure to entertain and feed another child. Bit odd to ask for more money though, better to explain her feelings to you.

Not that shy, if she has asked another parent to pay her for something that should be part and parcel of her role!

I can't imagine my ex nanny ever asking for extra money for play dates. I'd be re-thinking my nanny arrangements before paying it too - I think that ad-hoc play dates are just part and parcel of the job.

Part of her job IMO! My nanny socialises with the other local nannies - you should encourage her to do the same.

Bit different if the other mum is using your nanny as childcare though.

Perhaps it is danger money?

Agree with blondes - this sounds odd

I would never dream of asking for extra pay for a playdate. Sometimes playdates make my job easier in that the kids have someone other than myself to play with!!!

Also, I find that if you get friendly with other mums and nannies and have their kids over for playdates, then they are likely to reciprocate when you need to take time off for a doctors appointment or something like that.

As a nanny you are not paid per child, like a childminder.
Having said that, there have been occasions when I have been looking after preschoolers, where another parent has asked if I could have their child for an hour or so whilst they go for an appointment (with my bosses agreement) and they have given me a tenner, but I certainly wouldn't expect it.

Play dates are part and parcel of being a nanny, no extra pay is due and your nanny is v cheeky.