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Original poster

Childminders Club - HELP with mealtimes - PLEASE!! (sorry, it's long!!)

32 replies

HellyBelly · 29/01/2006 12:05

Hello

I need some advice please.

I have a problem with mealtimes at the moment and I just don't know what I should do for the best. BTW, in case this is misread as me not liking my mindee, that's so very not true! Just need some advice

I've had mindee X (nearly 3) since July and mealtimes have always been hard work but it's getting worse. At first it was just hard to get her to eat vegetables and my home cooked meals with 'bits' in (peppers, onion, peas etc). Bit by bit I've managed to get her to eat new things but she'll still say she doesn't want it most of the time (her parents admit she eats crap when they have her).

Anyway, now it's not just the food.

She always has to go for a nap straight after lunch as she takes so long to actually eat her meals, if I put her down any later she would not go to bed early enough at night. Well recently she's become very clever and does what she can to delay and delay her afternoon nap! For example, she'll take forever eating her lunch (as usual) and then quite often asks for something else to eat, even when full, and sits there with the bowl for a bit then says she doesn't want it. I'm fairly sure this is delay tactics but what annoys me is the food just gets thrown without being tasted - a waste (I know kids waste food, that's not my problem, it's that she obviously never intended to eat it). This problem doesn't bother me as much as the next......

Evening mealtimes are difficult. My ds always had good food but since I've been childminding, he's picked up the fussy habits which is a real shame as he won't eat the mix of things he used to - anyway, that's another story. I have 2 problems at the moment:

  1. I give her something she doesn't like, she leaves it and fills up on biscuits, banana's, pasta when she gets home. Is there any point in me trying to still get her to eat better? I think not as she's clever and knows she won't end up hungry! (although the mum wants her to eat better and has told me to tell her when her dd doesn't eat so she knows not to give her biscuits etc, having said that, she'd still give her loads of her pasta etc so it's not going to make a difference I don't think)

  2. My ds has always been a fast eater and she's ultra slow (although I think a lot are at that age). What she's started doing since coming back in the new year is the second my ds has finished and asked to leave the table to play, she suddenly says she's finished and doesn't want any more and asks to play. Problem is we eat in the lounge so are in the same room as the toys. I've started saying that she has to stay at the table even though she doesn't want anymore as she's hardly eaten anything. She then continues to eat as she's not getting to play. She just pretends she's not hungry any more to play but I don't know if telling her she has to stay at the table is the right thing to do????

I've had a lot of problems with her lying to me and not listening as much recently - her mum thinks she's started to behave more like what she's like for her parents, now she's been here a while. There are a few main problems with this but I'll post those in another thread

Any advice about mealtimes would be great!

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nzshar · 29/01/2006 16:26

Sorry HellyBelly slight mix up there then and i see that half your battle is getting the parents to stick to a course of action.
I truely think the time limit idea is maybe a good start. I give my ds 20 mins then its nothing more than water after that though occaisionally i may offer again around a half hour later but if refused i throw away. Nothing else is given. BTW my ds is only 20 months though so may be different with a child a year older.

Original poster
HellyBelly · 29/01/2006 16:15

Joanna4 - thanks for that. Before Christmas that's exactly what I was doing - if she didn't eat a reasonable amount then no dessert and just in the bin. I don't have a problem throwing food away if not eaten - it was the daily asking for something but not wanting it - just wanting to delay going for a nap (new since new year, if you knew all the other clever little things she does you'd know what I mean - for another thread though ). I'll just continue as I am with this and in my head pretend she ate it

The evening meal is the main concern as she decides to stop the second ds asks if he can leave the table - a kind of copying phase I guess.

Joanna4 & HenniPenni - I love the idea of a time limit I will speak to her mum about this as she's all for speeding up things as her naps are starting later and later at the moment. Out of interest, how long do you think is reasonable for a nearly 3 year old girl? (mum will ask for my opinion on time as she always asks what I think). Lunch is usually sandwiches etc and evening is cooked dinner.

nzshar - maybe I didn't explain myself well enough? The parents DO want her to eat healthily and want me to encourage this as she's with me most of the time. They want to have rules as they've admitted they've let her get away with whatever she wants since she was very small. They want her to not be given stuff at home if she doesn't eat at mine - she can just wrap herself around their little fingers and they find it hard!

I think I just need to have a 'proper' talk with them to find out exactly what they want and we all stick with it. They've told me what they want but aren't sticking to it I get on really well with the mum though so I'll give have words with her again.

Anyone here cook different meals for different children?

OP posts:
nzshar · 29/01/2006 15:57

Im sorry but im on the time limit idea as well. Also although it may annoy you what the mother gives her when she gets home it(and please dont take offence) really isnt your worry. After all i dont think you would like it if someone else was not happy with what you feed your ds in your own home would you? Children of this age are often bad/picky eaters....looks like your one of the lucky ones with your ds. Fell proud of yourself that you are offering a varied and nutritious menu thats all that can be asked surely.
HTH

HenniPenni · 29/01/2006 15:51

I agree with Joanna 4, I have a minee who is the same, with agreement with her family we set a time and if she hasn't finished her dinner/tea goes in the bin, it does seem harsh but it works.(I used to be icemum btw)

joanna4 · 29/01/2006 15:48

OR

Getting her involved with food-
making fruit salad
growing cress to go in a sandwich
fruit picking in summer
making a sandwich herself-obviously all supervised.

joanna4 · 29/01/2006 15:46

I had one like this once what i did in agreement with mum was to give her a set time to eat and if she didnt it went straight in the bin no comment no nothing but also nothing in between other than a drink.Believe me it seems harsh but it worked.This also means though that you and mum have to be in total agreement and mum cannot supplement at home so child knows there is no second sitting to go for.
Have you tried only giving her a tiny bit rather than even a portion size on a plate that worked well too.It is so unfair because i suppose for you its like with me -chucking food goes against the grain,your own kids are expected to eat etc I know it is really hard.

Original poster
HellyBelly · 29/01/2006 15:14

bump

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