I have posted this in chat too... sorry for the bad ettiquette but I realised you guys might be helpful too..
Lost standing poster ? namechanged, having a life crisis. I work in a demanding target lead environment and have done so for nearly ten years. I have a young daughter whom I have always put with a child minder without much guilt at all. However, I am EXHAUSTED by going to bed every night (I rarely sleep properly, if at all) thinking about targets and how much money I have made for my company. Even if I have exceeded my targets I am bitterly aware of the next month?s target and to be honest I don?t really know what it?s all for. I also worry about things I have and haven't done. I never, ever finish my to-do-list and I don't feel like i am naturally "good enough" it's always a struggle to keep up with my peers - although no one would guess i felt like that.
I?m not very maternal really but I have started to feel like I?m missing out on something wonderful for nothing at all. I have fairly recently had a big promotion which I have been working towards my whole career? but now that I have it (and with it has come more stress and more hours, and even less sleep) I don?t actually want it. I?m missing the first ever school assembly I have ever missed today (DD has a big speaking part that she?s worked really hard for) because work is just too busy to be able to justify taking two hours out. I just can?t bear the thought of her not having me there.
I suggested to my friend this morning that I could become a childminder.. she laughed at me which was entirely fair as I am the least childmindery person you could meet.. at least, I always have been? but I feel different somehow now.
I had PND which if I?m honest I never really dealt with at all. It?s only been in the last few months that I have felt like a mum (dd is nearly 6) and, I don?t know. I really don?t know.
Come and tell me how you are happier with less money? Tell me how you manage to work around your family life and keep your sanity? come and tell me what I (a complete stranger to you!) should do with my life??
Also, if anyone could tell me how much money they make as a childminder and how many kids they have that would be interesting. My Childminder friend guffawed when I suggested I would need to earn £115 a day before tax. She was also very lovely and gave me a big cuddle 