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A WWYD really - finding relationship with AP very difficult since she's patently keen on DH

37 replies

docket · 19/01/2012 09:46

Have had an au pair since September (she's leaving end of March). She's been very good with the children and coped particularly well at the start when I was recovering from an operation and not much help for a while. She's quite easy to get along with, if rather arrogant at times!

I noticed early on that she was very keen on DH, quite flirty, very attentive and markedly 'nicer' to him. My mum and her partner noticed too, my mum mentioned it to me after she saw them talking and noticed the AP had lain herself in a 'come hither' style over a chair (whatever that means!). Anyway, it was pretty obvious to all concerned.

Up to then I had regarded it as nothing serious, almost amusing. Then, she spent Christmas-New Year in London and kept texting DH (nothing that needed replying to, just 'chat') and then very bizarrely sent a text to him at 1 in the morning saying 'Is anything wrong (I hope this hasn't woken you)?'. This was very weird indeed as she knows we go to bed quite early and even DH who is rather oblivious to these things had to admit there was only one likely explanation for texting someone at that hour...

I mentioned I thought it was a bit strange (in an 'are you ok' way) when she got back as I wanted her to know I knew. She was hugely defensive, saying she hated it when people didn't reply to her texts....

Anyway, the upshot is that I find having her around very difficult, I think she crossed the line with that text. I've told a couple of RL friends who think I should have given her the boot but that feels a bit extreme and at times I wonder whether I'm just blowing it out of proportion.

What do you think? Would really appreciate some opinions!

OP posts:
PositiveOutlook · 19/01/2012 11:02

From your post I can gage that you are not a confrontational person but how you didn't react to a 1am text to your DH is beyond me? You have every right to give her notice, her behavior is completely inappropriate and unacceptable, what did she think your reaction was going to be?

I definitely wouldn't want her in my house! Getting DH to sack her would leave her in no doubt about where she stood or how he feels about her, she might even want to leave immediately if she is embarrassed enough (but if your DH is anything like mine, he would be as much use as a chocolate tea pot).

HereIGo · 19/01/2012 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

docket · 19/01/2012 10:56

Yikes. I will show this to DH and discuss next steps. I was half expecting a blasting for over-reacting....

OP posts:
paulapantsdown · 19/01/2012 10:49

Get her out of your home.
I agree, get the DH to sack her.
today

TheEpilator · 19/01/2012 10:46

I would get DH to sack her. He should tell her that she has crossed the employer/employee line by sending him unnecessary and personal texts, which he takes as an affront to you both.

HereIGo · 19/01/2012 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonsoir · 19/01/2012 10:40

I would want rid, too.

docket · 19/01/2012 10:25

You're right and I do feel uncomfortable. I really wasn't expecting this.

OP posts:
PattiMayor · 19/01/2012 10:17

Well you do - texting your DH when she is on leave is very odd and texting him at 1am is even odder.

Can't you just tell her it's not working out? I wouldn't want anyone living in my home that I felt uncomfortable with and it's really disrespectful of you

TheCrackFox · 19/01/2012 10:16

Make her redundant. She has been with you for less than a year so she doesn't have a leg to stand on.

docket · 19/01/2012 10:03

Really? But for what reason?! I haven't anything concrete to pin on her!

OP posts:
TheCrackFox · 19/01/2012 10:02

I would sack her. The cheeky mare.

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