Is it normal for an au pair to go to bed and sleep when on babysitting duties?

of course a live in nanny or an ap can go to bed when babysitting!!! that why you get a two nights of free babysitting as they can carry on as normal while you go out.

How old is your DS? Au pairs aren't supposed to have sole charge of a child under three. If your DS is older than three, could he not go to the AP's room if he needed something?

If your AP could hear him if she was awake with her door open, of course a monitor is going to work. How odd to think it wont. As for the excuse it might wake her in the night - do as others have suggested and get her to put it at full volume outside her door when she goes to bed and you pick it up when you come in.

I think it's ridiculous to make her stay awake 'just in case' but IF you pay her by the hour and she chooses to babysit then fair enough, if it's just expected as she's 'live-in' then no, part of that expectation is to be able to go to bed and if you want someone to stay up then pay her or someone else to babysit would be my suggestion.

However the only think I don't think you are being unreasonable about is the fact that she said she understood what you wanted & agreed to it, then did as she wanted. If it's a language problem fine - if it's a 'fuck you' problem - not fine.

My baby monitor signal reaches 100m. I'm sure your house isn't that big

I agree with everyone else - I think it's totally unreasonable to expect your AP to stay up when she doesn't need to. And what spero said

Someone I know can only keep her au pairs for three months at a time. Because she makes unreasonable demands and seems to rejoice in the fact she can pay them peanuts and treat them like crap.

It is a horrible situation for her child, and for the au pairs I would imagine.

I agree it sounds morelike you want a night nanny than an au pair. You get what you pay for.

I would never expect someone babysitting my child to sit up awake when he was asleep. Never in a million years.

I agree with everyone else, you need to get her a baby monitor. Of course the signal will reach, they have a ridiculously long range. And if it doesn't reach then you will need to move her into a room nearer the baby.

'didn't need to get up this morning as she has the weekend off'

So she should stay up when she's tired and sleep it off in her free time? You don't own her.

Get her the monitor. And don't pretend your reluctance to get her one is about 'disturbing her sleep' once you are home.

OP I think you should consider employing a nanny/night nanny if you want this level of care.

An AP isnt really appropriate.

How far away is her bedroom?

I am a live in nanny and when I babysit I usually go to bed.

When my charges are younger I put the baby monitor outside my room (in a past job the babies room was at the far end of the corridor to me so although I would hear her it gave me peace of mind. Then when the parents came back they would take the monitor back. However with current charge who is 4, I just leave my door open just a crack, although again I would hear them and my boss closes my door when she gets in.

I think YABU, she is an au pair, not a night nanny and like someone else said there is a limit to the hours she can work in a day. If you are expecting her to be awake whilst your son sleeps, are you letting her catch up on sleep at another time (excluding her days off which she is fully entitled to)? I am also guessing your son is your only child.
If her room is so far away, can't you move her to a closer room or swap rooms? How big is your house?
Of course buy a baby monitor and have her use it when babysitting. When not babysitting it doesn't have to be used and thus won't disturb her sleep.

Or come home earlier from nights out, safe in the knowledge that you're there on the odd occasion that your son is ill.
Simple.
Let the au pair sleep for goodness sake!

Get a monitor - have it on whilst you are out so AP can go to bed then when you get home switch the monitor off in babys bedroom so therefore not disturbing the AP.

Unless you try it you will not know whether it works or not - buy a monitor if the signal does not reach then take it back .

I dont know much about APs but I understood there was a limit on the hours they could work with the children.

If you are expecting her to sit up with your sleeping child until you get home do you not lose your day time hours?

Get a baby monitor.

I would normally say get a monitor, but it does depend on whether your au pair is responsive when asleep. Someone who is not used to listening out for a child just doesn't hear them as quickly.

Our (live in) nanny used to get sufficiently worried about responding that she actually put DS2 in a travel cot in her room to make sure she heard him.

Does she sleep through anything and everything? If so, then I would be concerned. If she wakes to small noises, then not so concerned.

Definitely a monitor. I'm also in the actively encouraging live ins to sleep camp. Is it any nearer if she's downstairs or is it just the principle that she should be awake?

I would have no issue with someone who lives in sleeping whilst babysitting. My live in nanny does, except on the rare occasion the DC are very unsettled in which case she will stay awake until we get home.

I would have an issue if my nanny/au pair/ whoever ignored an express instruction not to do something, as in this case?

Is there perhaps a language barrier? What time do you usually onto bed? Perhaps she assumed once it was past "your bedtime" that it was ok to sleep? You do need to talk to her clearly about following instructions. Also get a monitor.

I think your being very unfair expecting her to stay up until you return. Like others have said get a baby monitor

I actively encourage my aupairs to go to bed when they are tired!! Ditto monitor. When mine was younger, and we were out late, aupair used to leave it on maximum volume just outside her door when she went to bed. That way, she'd wake up if baby cried, but we could pick up monitor and take it to our room when we got home.

I agree with everyone, she lives with you and should be able to go to bed when she is tired if your DS is settled.
How is it different than you gong to bed? unless you sit with your DS all night.

She lives with you. Surely she can go to bed once the baby is settled, unless you are paying her a babysitting rate for the evening.

I'd say monitor too, as long as she'll wake up to deal with anything if she needs to.

Agree with everyone else. I used to go to sleep at 9.30 when mine were babies. They are fine, honestly. Use a moniter. It will be ok.