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Original poster

Is this gross negligence or am I over-reacting?

53 replies

thinkofthemoney · 16/12/2011 19:29

Hello, can anyone help - nanny or employer?
We have had our nanny for just over a year. I have never gelled with her and there have been a few minor teething issues but she seems to take good care of our two children (2 and 4 yrs). They never seem overly happy to see her or sad to see her go but happy enough IYKWIM.
Anyway, today a neighbour we know to say hello/chat to called round almost in tears. She said she was unsure whether or to to tell me but 2 weeks ago she was walking her dog at the local river and saw my 4 year old dd sat on a wall directly bordering a very high lock (loch? sorry about spelling!) all by herself.
She ran over as she was leaning backwards and thought she was going to fall in. It is about a 10 foot drop into deep water here. She was looking round for me or my husband but no-one was to be seen. By this time a small crowd had gathered and then about 5 mins later (she can't be sure but says it was some time) our nanny came running from out of sight at least 150m and from behind a very heavy gate (the kind to keep cows out).
She then really told off my daughter for disappearing and the neighbour was quite cross as she felt our nanny had placed dd in a highly dangerous position.
The nanny had been chatting with another nanny friend and obviously hadn't realised dd was missing.
Our nanny has never mentioned a word of this to us.
Now I feel sick that if the neighbour had not been there our daughter may have fell in. A long time ago the lock keepers son of a similar age fell in and died.
Now I never let my children out of my sight around water and my initial feeling is I can not trust her to have my children again.
Clearly I need to get her side, however our neighbour has no reason to make this up and it was obviously quite distressing for her to tell us - she did not want to cause trouble as she realised it may mean our nanny losing her job.
So do you think this is a sacking offence? I'm not sure I could trust her again and am wondering if there have been other instances she's not told us about.
It is also going to be a nightmare getting childcare over Christmas - there is no way I either of us can take time off work and we have no family so I need to be sure if sacking for gross negligence is the right thing or not.
Opinions gratefully recieved - thanks for reading of you have reached the end!

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Novstar · 16/12/2011 20:11

Yes that would be grounds for instant dismissal for me. A 4 yo simply should not be allowed on their own near deep water. I can see that talking to friends and losing sight of kids could conceivably happen to a parent, but that doesn't mean it should be acceptable if it happens to a paid childcarer.

KateShmate · 16/12/2011 19:55

You are definitely not over-reacting, but I cannot comment on whether you should sack her - I don't know what she is like 'normally' as a Nanny.

But one thing I have to say is that this lady is looking after your child - if you dont feel 100% sure that your DD is safe then you are going to be constantly worried about her (understandably).
I think its important that you completely trust your Nanny, and by the sounds of it you don't (again, understandably). For your peace of mind I think you need to think carefully about all of this.
I trust our Nanny 110% with our DD's; hard to explain, but I dont work - I have triplets and 2 older girls and since the triplets were born she has helped in the house - I only leave them alone with Nanny when Im doing errands/pre-school run etc. But I see them with her most days and she treats them with the love and care that I do - I would hate the feeling of even going to the shop 5 minutes away and thinking whether my DD's would be safe or not - it would be going through my head constantly, and I wouldn't be able to stand that.
Hope you're okay after what happened, and hope you come to the right decision :)

girliefriend · 16/12/2011 19:36

hmmm I think the issue here is that she didn't tell you. That would concern me more than the incident itself (which is bad enough) as I would be worried about her not being open and honest.

If this is the first incident then I would have a meeting with her and get her full side of the story then depending on how honest she is being either a official warning (ie if I have to warn you about anything else then thats it) or sack her!

TBH your instincts seem to be telling you this lady maybe isn't the right one for your family.