Is my live-out nanny eating too much of my food?

LadyHarrietdeSpook - I should add that the tired after work and can't think about preparing before work is just about me! I am a live-in nanny but I work 12 3/4 days, there are not very many other jobs where people do 11+ hours a week, which I have always done.

I know people see being a nanny as an easy job, but trust me, there are days when I do not stop! I look after a young baby who is weaned but I don't fancy 3 cubes of mashed food for lunch! As the baby gets older I will eat with them, but right now I don't want to eat at 11:45 and 4p.! Some days I forget to eat because my charge has a hectic schedule and find myself hungry at 3pm! Luckily baby has a late afternoon nap!

I don't have time to think about what I am having for lunch/supper before I leave the house, let alone preparing it! When I have cooked two meals (and tidied/washed up after) during the day, I can't be bothered to cook when I finish work! This is just from my point of view, no one elses!!!

I've been half-watching this thread for a while. I'm not a nanny (am a childminder) but I would find it very weird NOT to eat with the children. As others have said, cooking and eating together is a very valuable experience, for all sorts of reasons.

My background is as a playworker at after-school clubs etc. I always sat down with the children at snack time and helped to chop/share the fruit together. Once, I got into fairly serious trouble with an unsympathetic boss for doing this - we argued about it ... I felt that the 20p or so each day it cost for me to eat fruit along with the children was negligible (especially compared to the fictional overtime she claimed each day) and that it was much better for the children to share healthy fruit with a playworker than to see us snacking on our 'private' choclate hobnobs in the kitchen when we thought they weren't looking. However, she felt that I should not be eating the club's food. (Fortunately, we had an Ofsted inspection the following week, and the Ofsted inspector agreed with me ).

OP, it does sound like your nanny might have been taking the mickey a little bit when you first posted. Glad things have been better recently.

A nanny job isn't like an office job; part of a nanny's role is to 'set an example' and provide a homely environment, therefore I expect my nanny to sit with my children and eat the meals that she has cooked (as I would if i were at home), to encourage good habits, table manners etc.

It's actually in my nanny's contract that she can have all meals with the children and use the family's food. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I would NOT like it if she were bringing in her own separate food and eating it - I think the children wouldn't benefit as much and it would be a bit odd (allergies etc. permitting).

To get back to the original thread; I wouldn't like it if my nanny were eating me out of house and home. I guess I would have to ask the nanny where all the food was going, and explain about budgets etc. I also wouldn't want my children to think that eg 3 rounds of sandwiches at lunch was a normal sized portion.

Nick
I personally think it's fine if the children are eating for the nanny to join in. The only thing I queried was that somehow a nanny job is any different from any other wrt travelling time and preparing meals after work just cause you're tired. In that sense a nanny job isn't any different from any other...

You can't compare apples to oranges. What is norm in one type of job won't be the norm in another. Nannies are often involved in preparation of food, a perk of the job is eating some of the food. Nannies could also be said to be a mum subsitute - if mum was home with children, would they not eat lunch together?

Glad you feel that way, stripey!!
I also worked in a school for a couple of years and was horrified at the amount of children aged 4 to 7 who were unable to use cutlery, and ate like, quite frankly, and I can think of no other way to decribe it.. savages! It was truly shocking to see children lacking such a basic social skill. It was so bad that the head decided that each table be assigned a member of staff to sit and eat with the children, and all members of staff on lunch duty were provided with a lunch, free of charge.... !!

In theory yes but as it's not guaranteed I bring food in. Not being able to go out doesn't mean you can't eat. You just bring food with you. Presumably nannies can pop to the shops with the kids if they're not organised enough in the mornings?

Actually I like the idea of eating lunch together & feel it's important for all the reasons given above, especially if it the only opportunity to eat as a 'family' for some children. I think it should be promoted more in other environments.

I still wouldn't expect all my food to be provided for me though. Lunch would be nice but certainly not the lot.

But you get 2 30 minute breaks where in theory you can go get something to eat. A nanny may not get that if looking after young children and certainly can't leave them unattended to do so.

just to add - this is the same even when working on Xmas day...In fact I brought in food for others today!

May be I should look at employment options

Gosh - I am really surprised by this thread!

I work (not as a nanny) from 8am-8.30pm with two 30 min breaks - if I'm lucky - with a 45 min commute each way. There are times I cannot leave the work place due to staff shortages, so always bring food in.

It has never occurred to me that food should be provided! In fact it is a disciplinary offence to eat the food provided for others. Tea & coffee are provided, although they are thinking of changing this!

i have always been ok'd to eat with the kids - breakfast and lunch usually. I tend to have 2 weekabix milk and a banana for breakfast, lunch with the kids (whatever im preparing - could be a sandwich, could be spag bol) and tea/coffee/biscuits. If i feel it necessary to eat early, i ALWAYS ask if i can eat tea with the kids - never been a problem!

Im perplexed at how ANYONE could get through nearly a whole tub of butter/jam/peanut butter a WEEK let alone 4 days?!

I think eating with the children is the norm!! I have always sat with, and eaten the same food as the children in my care. Not one of my employers have had a problem with this, I think it would be really odd not to!! It is always a good time to teach table manners, talk about the day ahead, or what we are going to do thenext day etc. It is a really important social skill, where the children learn from observing. Many children whose parents work very long hours miss out on sitting around a table with their family for meals, surely it is the nannys responsibility to ensure the children arent missing out? I would always bring my own choccy biccies for playdates though!!!

"Even if I lived out, I would want all meals provided, even 8-6 a nanny would have travelling time, so her day could start at 7:30 and end at 6:30 or possibly longer, I don't have time to think about what I am having for lunch/supper before I leave the house, let alone preparing it! When I have cooked two meals (and tidied/washed up after) during the day, I can't be bothered to cook when I finish work"

Anyone who has to get into work has to think about feeding themselves in the morning..the job involves cooking and cleaning for others...not sure why that obliges your employers to provide your meals because you don't feel like cooking for yourself again???

Strange attitude, not because of the cost implications, I just think the logic of it is a bit odd.

Wow! I'm a live-in nanny, I have a seperate flat, away from the house with my own kitchen but my contracts says that my employers provide all my food! It has always been that way, have been a nanny for 25 years, 10 positions and alway live-in, never HAD to buy my own food.

I do buy my own food though, mainly for the weekend. I eat three meals a day and with the children, whatever they have, I have (although as I am cooking it, we have whatever I fancy!)

Even if I lived out, I would want all meals provided, even 8-6 a nanny would have travelling time, so her day could start at 7:30 and end at 6:30 or possibly longer, I don't have time to think about what I am having for lunch/supper before I leave the house, let alone preparing it! When I have cooked two meals (and tidied/washed up after) during the day, I can't be bothered to cook when I finish work!

I am a nanny as well but I never eat from my employers food.
I just don't think is right to eat their food. Ok a coffee ar tea it allright but food... I don't think it right.
I allways buy something or bring a sandwich with me at work.

embot - so what do you do if the child refuses to eat their food because they want what you have got? If you are eating the same as the children you can be encouraging them to try different veg and fruit that they may well tuck into if they see you enjoying it. I think eating together teaches children social skills, table manners etc and think it is more difficult to do if you are eating different things.

i agree we don't get a lunch break and must eat with the kids or when they sleeping but there is no reason why we cant bring our own food. either in a pack box or leave some essentials at work like tins of soup to heat up. like kids who take there lunch to school, we should pack our own food for later. why should we be fed? :)

Embot1000 - you were a nanny for 10yrs but rarely had lunch there?

You really think nannies should bring their own lunch?

Yes most professionals do buy their own lunch but most have a lunch hour and can Leave the office / pop to a cafe etc

Nannies can't do this - hence why previding lunch / meals isn't a perk but a necessity :)

oh my goodness!!! i was a nanny for 10 years and even returned after having my own child (whose food i also took). i was offered food by my employers and occassionly took them up on lunch or a snack but never eat 3 meals a day every day!! a bit of toast, some biscuits and coffee.
my husband goes out to work and wouldn't use his company credit card to feed himself, doesn't eat his breakfast at his desk and charge work etc.
you've employed a professional nanny, you pay her a salary. she should bring her own lunch and 6 is not to late be be going home to make her own dinner. she should also be considerate when organising play dates. is she a teen? married? living with parents?
talk to her about what your expectations are and things you hadn't thought of when employing her and things you might want to change at your end of 1st month review.
a good nanny will not mind this being discussed esp as its new for you. she might also have some things she might want to talk about.
don't spring the meeting on her though, book it in preferably when the children are not around so you can speak freely.
sorry for the long message!

I let her add roughly £15 on to the regular shopping.
I found it very funny though as I got in last night and she was very upset [makes me sound terrible I know!] - thought DS must have done something horrible, but eventually it turned out that she can't fit in her favourite jeans from home and when she went out shopping yesterday she had gone up two sizes in the 6 weeks since she arrived and so refused to buy anything. She is now insisting she will live on cup-a-soup only until her visit home in case her friends back home think she is too fat.
Guess my shopping bill might be about to reduce a little! Oh to be young again.

Unless your nanny starts v early or finishes very late, its not normal to provide breakfast and tea for her - just lunch.
Have you made meals contractual?

Thanks fab.

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