Oh gawd, second problem with nanny this week...

Tough shit really that this is your third nanny you would need to find.

Your nanny left your son alone while she pissed about buying tights.

She needs to be gone as long as this happened exactly as you have said.

shine - TOTALLY agree. I wouldn't leave my 7 year old in a shop on her own and would be horrified if a nanny/childminder did.

rita - that was my question too, if the nursery worker saw your ds alone did she then leave him to go tell the nanny? and if not, how did the nanny not come back for 5 minutes?

Its unbelievable a nanny would think it acceptable to leave a 4 year old on theur own in a shopping centre.

Agree why did the nursery nurse not stay with DS or take him with her to find the nanny.

You aren't having a good week are you!

Does she know you let him go in the toy shop on his own?

If she left him in the toyshop while she went to the shop opposite to buy tights would he stay in the toyshop until she came back?

Would it be a bit of an assumption you'd be OK with her doing that as you let him go in on his own?

I'm not saying she's right to do this - I'm just asking if this would be a reasonably logical assumption.

Also, she can't have been that far away if the nursery woman found her that easily. If she was that concerned why didn't she stay with DS and see how long it took for your nanny to come back? It all just sounds a bit like the nursery woman was being a bit 'Oooh drama drama drama'. I'd want to talk to the nanny before I got too worked up about it.

I don't quite understand - so the nursery worker found ds in one shop, and then went into the other shop (leaving ds behind?) to find the nanny, then went back to the first shop and waited with ds?

I'd want to check with the nanny exactly what happened.

What does your contract say about gross misconduct? I'd think leaving a child alone is a sackable offense.

I let him go in to a toy shop on his own while I stand at the entrance.

So your son didn't think it was wrong for him to be in a toy shop, on his own?

Did you son say anything about nanny taking him into the toy shop, or did he perhaps decide to go on his own, even though he was with nanny and not with you?

Your nanny however should have been far more focused on your DS, not buying tights. Your DS probably didn't want to buy tights - it wasn't a shopping trip he was enjoying.

Do you still trust her? Do you trust her judgement?

If you do, and you are prepared to give her another chance, then you still need to talk to her about it and see what her reasoning behind it was.

Personally, I think it is such a massive error in judgement, I know that I couldn't continue to work with her.

Even though your ds is "very grown up and independent", the fact remains that he is only 4 years old. Whilst I think that I am extremely level headed, and hate all the "paedophile round every corner" reaction, I just think it is extraordinary that any adult, particularly one with a paid responsibility for a child, would consider it appropriate or safe in any way to leave such a young child alone.

Does your DS confirm this? You could always bring it up with her without mentioning the nursery worker and if she fobs you off then she's definitely untrustworthy. If she admits it then you just say that you're very upset, can't accept that and are firing her.

I agree with what Littlefish has suggested... you inform your nanny that you have been told something and ask them to confirm if that was the case or not.

I can't see that the nursery worker would have any reason to be untruthful about the incident, and if your son confirms the events, then it's certainly highly likely it did happen.

A nanny could lose a child whilst out and about, especially if a child is wanting to be independent and not constantly hold the nannies hand. So your son could have wandered off... but when your nanny noticed him missing (was told he was missing) her reaction seems very odd - why continue with what she was doing? Your DS should be the No1 priority to your nanny.

"Nanny - I need to talk to you about something I was told today and I need to hear your side of things before I decide what to do. I've been told that Ds was found, unaccompanied in a shop by someone, who then found you in a different shop. Please can you explain this."

Then, say nothing more, and wait for her to speak.

Your primary concern needs to be to keep your ds safe. If the nursery worker is in no doubt about what happened, then you need to talk very directly to the nanny and tell her exactly what is being reported to you.

I would consider this to be an absolute case of gross misconduct.

To be honest, I wouldn't care if I shopped the nursery worker - this is absolutely unacceptable and safety is surely the #1 priority of your nanny?!