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Original poster

Thoughts on my nanny's behavior please

31 replies

Knackeredmother · 21/11/2011 10:47

i posted on here a while ago about my sick ds, his frequent hospital admissions, how we are struggling to cope and asking if it was reasonable to ask our nanny to help out with children's laundry, cooking extra meals etc to help out.
I'm on my phone so can't link to the thread but will do so later.
Anyway on advice from here I had a talk and explained how difficult things were and asked to her do the extra things. Things have improved slightly. She has made the children's beds a few times and done some laundry. Still a way to go but some improvement.
However I am struggling with the fact that when I let her know
My son is in hospital (so she can plan her week) she does not reply. This just seems to me that she doesn't care. He is in hospital now, very very ill, and I text her yesterday to let her know and she has not replied.
I know I can't force her to care and I don't feel I can bring it
Up but it is really affecting how I feel about her.
I am not sure if I am expecting too much or if it would be reasonable to expect her to at least to reply ' with I hope he is ok'?
I would appreciate your thoughts and I promise this is the last time I will post about my nanny saga!

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An0therName · 21/11/2011 12:59

have to say I agree - doesn't sound like it is working out that well - some people in a stressful situation just don't step up to it -
its however probably not a great time to be changing nannies -and how long has she worked for you as it may be tricky legally

bump6 · 21/11/2011 12:53

Hi, Knackeredmother, you really don't need this extra stress. I find it quite unbelieveable that she hasn't responded. As Ebb says we love the children we look after. To be honest, I would have thought most nannies would have ask if there was any thing else they could do to help make life a little easier.
As for 'hope they get better' that should be the first thing a childs nanny should ask., its standard.
Sounds to me like she is taken advantage of your lovely nature.
Agree with Ebb, would show her the door.
I hope your ds gets better really soon and that you find a solution to your nanny problem without too much stress.

ohnoshedittant · 21/11/2011 12:53

How is she when she comes in? Does she ask after him/seem concerned then?

witchwithallthetrimmings · 21/11/2011 12:42

sending you a virtual hug, Thanks and a Brew rather than any advice

Ebb · 21/11/2011 12:41

As a nanny, I couldn't imagine not ringing to ask after my charges if they were ill or in hospital. Most nannies have a strong bond with their charges and we love them! I've had several occassions when charges have been in hospital for various reasons and I've always visited if appropriate ( ie. I wasn't at home looking after the siblings ) or phoned about them if it's been my weekend off. Once my charge had a playdate and the little girl got taken poorly and it turned out she had meningitus and was in hospital for a long time. I went to visit her. Her own nanny did not. Sad They got rid of her.

Your nanny sounds really uncaring. She's not supported you at all through this tough patch you're going through, shows no empathy or concern for your DS and I find it really bizarre that she won't even respond to a text when your son is so obviously ill. You need support right now. Personally I'd show her the door. I hope your DS makes a good recovery and is out of hospital soon.

wolfhound · 21/11/2011 10:53

Oh, poor you, knackeredmother, i do feel for you. I find it hard to understand - I know that my nanny would respond immediately.

It is possible she is thinking that she wants to avoid stressing you with extra messages. I know that I would feel a bit stressed by getting lots of 'hope he's ok' messages as I'd feel I had to reply to them, and wouldn't want to spend time doing it. But equally, I would probably feel hurt if the messages didn't come.

For what it's worth, I hope that your son is okay, and that you can bring him home soon.