Need a night nanny

Rhubarb, your posts advocate a sleep training method which even those who are in favour of it know it should be used before twelve months. And also you clearly know nothing about breastfeeding, plenty of babies still need night feeds at 8 months. Your advice was not asked for and further more it was contrary to the op's baby's welfare. Good luck op.

where are you ali?

i do night nannying

i know this is not what you want to hear but to enable you and dh to get a good night sleep every/most nights you need to wean off the night time feeding - they dont need it at 8 mths - but you dont want advice to stop, so will leave it there :)

ali - i have always said that sleep breeds sleep and if in a good daytime routine then a good nights sleep follows

you say ds2 has plenty of chances to nap in the buggy or car - and thats the problem, his body is used to having naps and he needs to be retrained to sleep properly during the day - nothing wrong with buggys or cars as long as get a decent sleep - but sounds as if he doesnt

so needs to start having sleeps in his cot till he has sorted out better sleeping pattern

ideally at 8mth old should have a nap/snooze 9-10 and again 1-3 and maybe small catnap 5.30/6 if really tired but no more then 30mins or wont be in bed by 7pm

Don't feel like you shouldn't post here! Everyone just has different parenting styles and different needs. Some need a NN to get then through a tough few weeks, others want them to troubleshoot but that's a need you have to ascertain. Had it been the latter I'd have been straight in there with you suggesting how to stop night feeds etc!

Hello There I am a night nanny and cover all of the east midlands and warwickshire and if you live in my area then please do send me a message

alternatively I can highly recommend the agency www.kidsmatter.uk.com and also tinies nanny agency and both are nationwide.

good luck

I didn't realise that posting in childcare meant that you were not after advice. My first post offered some help as I presumed that in order for a nanny to get the baby up, the baby must be in a different room. I made some suggestions, I didn't mean for those suggestions to be blunt or hurtful. I did have a terrible time with ds waking up 5 to 6 times in the night and I thought I would share what worked for me.

I will think next time before I post. In hindsight, because I didn't know of any nightnannies I should simply have not come on and in future will steer clear of the childcare topic.

Apologies again to Ali x

rhubarb0 I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry if I did, but I don't think you realised how much you hurt Ali's IYSWIM or maybe how bluntly what you were saying was coming across.

Hi there,

Sorry to hear things are tough with your waking little on.

A ouple of agencies I work through who are great from my perspective as a MN and NN, and from the families I work with are -

Louise at cocoon - 0777 166 1144 www.cocoon.uk.com

Daisy at Silent Night Nannies - 0792 1762 176 www.silentnightnannies.co.uk

and

Tonya at Maternal Solutions - 0207 225 1555 www.nannyworld.co.uk

Hope this is of some help.

there are night nannies that use this board.... where are you based?

www.nightnannies.com/

your question was perfectly clear, Ali - how to get a night nanny

you weren't asking for advice
clearly feeding your ds in the night is something you are happy with, and ime most babies aren't sleeping through every night at his age anyway, plenty still need a feed in the night

good luck in finding a night nanny

What? Why are you taking my well intentioned advice and twisting it to mean something horrible? That is just hurtful and I don't have PND but I do have feelings and what you have just done has upset me.

She asked for advice and night-weaning was a suggestion. That's what advice is, it's suggestions that you may or may not take. I don't know that her ds is getting too much sleep in the day or whether or not she is co-sleeping, which is why I have asked more questions.

You cannot answer a post at face value when there is little to go on. But thanks for making me feel shit. I should obviously take my advice and stuff it up my arse then should I?

OP, sorry to hear you are feeling down and I hope my posts didn't add to your upset, they were certainly not meant to. I hoped that my explaining my experience you might feel like there was light at the end of the tunnel. I shall leave this thread now for some face-value advice by better qualified people.

OP asked a question about finding a night nanny and got told she should night wean - that's not helpful regardless of a poster's background. I would take great exception to anyone telling me to do that!

Obviously not everyone knows everyone's story but that's rather the point.... How do you know her DS2 is getting too much sleep in the day? Why advocate giving formula? Or cosleeping (which she's doing already)? Why not just take the question at face value and answer it? This section is usually so good at that!

It's a bit like how I posted that my nanny had to leave. I didn't get anyone telling me to give up work because of it.

do you work op [btw here's a hug if you want it], if not could you get someone to look after your dcs in the morning instead so you could catch up. I've been there and it is horrid, and the last thing you want is for people (however well meaning they might be) to tell you what you are doing wrong. x

frak, not all us know a poster's background and I was taken aback by the accusation that I was having a go at her parenting. Obv now I know there is something more to it, but at first I didn't and thought she was either trying to wind me up or was being ungrateful. I think a little background would have helped enormously. I hope she does get some help very soon.

Look, my post said nothing about your parenting skills ok? We are trying to help so bear with us.

Do you have a routine with your ds. This is very much against Mumsnet, but I'm going to recommend a read of The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford. Some hate her and some love her, but what she does is advocate a routine. Your baby is 8 months old so he should be awake until lunchtime, after which you can put him down for a 2hr nap. Then bedtime. By giving them a routine they start to understand how the day goes. So you'd give him his feed at certain times and do a proper bedtime routine so that he knows it's time to go to sleep.

It might take a week, but if you start on a routine and then offer only water during the night, you might start to see some results.

Sure he'll scream at night for his feed, but if you make sure his nappy is not soiled and that he is warm and safe then just ignore. Again some people hate controlled crying but ime it is worth it. Put him in another room so he doesn't disturb you.

If he is feeding well then waking up at this time every night suggests that he is getting too much sleep during the day and he is not crying out of hunger, he is crying because he wants to play. You need to reset his clock and that may take time and if you have the money, then perhaps get a nanny on a temporary basis to help you through it. But give it a go, read the book and you might come out of this feeling human again.

Oh ali

I'll PM you but popped on to say please lay off her and answer the question. She's on my PN thread and going through the mill right now. If she doesn't want to night wean that's her choice.

Would you be expressing or BFing?

Hi OP,

I completely get where you are coming from, even if people were trying to be helpful.

I would use an agency, sorry i can't suggest one, I'm afraid.

PS. I night fed my youngest DS until 15m, so very sympathetic.

Try Eden maternity, I always found great maternity/night nurses through them. They also have some trouble-shooting experts who might help get your baby to sleep better at night. I sympathise with you - my DD now 10 months has never slept through, wakes 1-3 times in the night still no matter what "helpful" suggestions people have - things improve for a bit and then get worse when she has a new tooth coming.

Go to an agency, yes of course it is possible that someone will bring you the baby for a feed but then it does not solve your problem does it, I think that is what people are trying to say to you.

An experienced Night Nanny might tell you this as well and I am guessing you wont like that either.

And if you have him next to your bed why the hell do you need to pay someone to lift him out of his bed, lay him on your lap and then put him back again?

Are you for real or are you acting in this way to try and cause a fight? Cause I came on here to offer some real advice having had a baby of my own who had problems sleeping. But if you act like an ungrateful cow, tired or no tired (and yes, night feeding IS tiring, plenty of us do it/have done it) then you won't get any helpful advice at all.

have you any family near? maybe they could take him once a week overnight