Life Dilemma : pregnant with no 3 accidentally

I bet it's handy having a 15 yr old around...or is it?!

I have 3 older ones eldest child is 15 youngest 15months!
The give so much to each other!

My position is very different to yours - in that my older children were teenagers having difficult times and it is very hard swapping between parenting styles. And I feel like I've done the trips to the park, farm, seaside etc with a toddler and that I'm just going through the motions with dd2. I'm 47 with a 3yo - old enough to be mum to many of the other mothers at nursery.
daisiesinaline - I'd like to be the only one who feels this way as I wouldn't wish this on anyone - but I bet there are a few more like me who wouldn't / couldn't normally admit it.

i am currently 29 weeks pg with no3 and what a big mistake that is! we had said after 2 that we didn't want anymore, and we both went to the gp for sterilisation, but were refused on the grounds that we were too young and only had 2 children!

it actually took a while to confirm the pg as well as numerous tests came up negative and it was only with t blood test that it was confirmed, by which stage i was already 17 weeks!!! imo too late to consider any other optiuons, even if we had wanted too. personally i did think about it but realised quite quickly that i couldn't do it, not that i disagree with termination in principle, just that i couldn't do it, and like sparklymieow, also briefly contemplated having ti adopted.#
anyway to cut this short, i went for my scan to find out exactly just how pg i was and from the first moment that i saw no3 on that screen, i knew that somehow this one was meant to be. oh and as an added bonus we have been told at the 20 week scan that it is a girl, although trying not to build my hopes up too much just in case they are wrong, am having another scan at 34 weeks to check growth as dates are uncertian and will ask again then what the sex is.

good luck with whatever decision you make ginso

I know someone who had twins by IVF and then fell pregnant naturally. They had another baby when the twins were just one year old. They feel blessed. Everyone is different.

I suppose the question you need to ask ginso, is would you ever regret having that child more than you would regret having an abortion.

Another friend of mind said 'You never regret having a child but would regret not having one" and up til sadwoman's post I had never heard anyone say that have regretted having a child. Poor u sadwoman by the way, but hey just think your No 3 may be some fantasic scientist one day and invent some amazing medicine or something!!!

I can understand how you feel though as when my son was 2 months I accidentally got pregnant, I also had a 2 year old daughter and the pregnancy was very hard and my son was not a great sleeper, it was such a huge shock for the both of us and after a great deal of talking I had a termination. At the time it felt like the right thing to do and I had no regrets after. The way we looked at it was that we had 2 children who needed our full attention and believed that a third child would have denied them that. We also are not very patient and found the whole parenting thing very tiring and worrying and felt we would have harboured so much resentment towards the new child that it just wouldn't be fair.

The only times I thought about what we had done was when it came around to when it should have been born and then birthdays etc....I feel sad knowing that now I would have a little 2 year old running around too.

Very hard decision to make but I believe you should do what you feel is right for your family you have.

agree there. We all feel fairly strongly but in different ways.

We really are all so different. That's why only the OP can make this decision. The decision one way or another would impact us all in such different ways.

don't know what to say...in a non-judgemantal/nice way I should add!

I love dd to bits but often dream of how my life would be if I hadnt had her especially as ds is nearly 10 and I would have so much freedom now.

Blimey sadwoman>

I don't know what to say......

sadwoman- it doesnt make you wicked. That's how I would feel if I had another and I know I couldnt do it as I would consider my life to be a living hell after.

I was told I could not conceive naturally and had two assisted births. Many years later I became pregnant naturally - it was a big shock. After a lot of discussion with dh we decided that it would be wrong to have an abortion after trying so hard to have the first 2. dh said he would support whatever I felt was right as the main burden would fall on me. dd2 is now 3. I have bitterly regretted my decision. I feel my life has been ruined by having this child. She is lovely and loving and I would be devastated if anything happened to her now - but I wish I had never had her. There is no-one I can say this to, it seems so wicked to feel like this, but it is true. And I don't feel I can use my usual name to post this.

True..but not for me

oops

It is a personal thing but an option nethertheless.

It is a personal thing but an option nethertheless.

It is a personal thing but an option nethertheless.

me too I couldnt get rid of a baby.

I'm with you hercules - I totally understand, me too, I just know that for me there would only be one path to take - to have the baby.

We are currently considering one of us doing that.

if you are so desperate not to have another why dont you get strealised to prevent it rather than having to face this situation?