is this parent asking to much? or am i getting it wrong?

You need to be very clear with her that it is up to you to decide which groups are appropriate and convenient for you. Explain to her that visiting shops, the bank, parks etc. are very much part of the normal expectations of a childminder. Not doing the whole weekly shop, obviously, but involving the children in buying ingredients for their lunch, letting them pay etc. Is exactly what you should be doing.

This mother seems to have missed the point about using a childminder. I wanted my dd's Childminder to include her in everyday family life, including all the usual errands. I wouldn't have dreamed of trying to dictate which groups she attended, or which other childminders or friends she met up with. I trusted her implicity to care for my child and to make decisions in her best interests. This trust was completely repaid by the wonderful relationship dd had with her childminder, and the love and care the childminder always gave dd.

Please sit down and have a very straight forward conversation telling her what you are and aren't prepared to do. If she is not happy with what you are offering, then you should give her notice.

I think you need to explain to this mum the difference between a childminder and a nanny.

What she is asking would be acceptable if she were your employer and you had only her child to consider.

With a childminder, it's not at all acceptable for her to control your day to the extent she is trying to do. She doesn't seem to appreciate that you're looking after other children for whom you must offer the same standard of care.

That's why you can't take a child who is sick. You have a duty of care to the other children. That's why you can't go to all the groups she wants you to attend because you have other commitments to other children in your care. You certainly won't be able to follow her DS around constantly if he is not your sole charge. To be honest, I question whether even a nanny would breathe down his neck to that extent. The ones I've met at groups certainly wouldn't, although they always keep a watchful eye on their charges.

It may be that the mum would prefer a nanny to care for her child. I think it would be very difficult to try and meet her demands as a childminder. I don't think you've gone wrong at all.

It is your business and you decide how to run it not the parents. You most certainly don't go to the groups she chooses.

nb of course you will be watching even at coffee with friend

perhaps invite friend to yours in future, you know your home is ''suitable''

totally unreasonable rita

the op would obviously be drinking her much needed coffee with her eyes on the child, looking out for him all the time

to suggest she shouldnt have a coffee is ludicrious, is she not to eat or drink all day whilst childminding then

oh dear

okay

The parent cannot dictate where and when you go, and if they want to they need a nanny so telling you you cannot visit friend and children is not acceptable

You select the venues and activities you take the children to, to suit the ages stages and interests of them; again if she wants sole control over where and when you take the child she needs a nanny

D and V - you cannot care for an ill child, HPA guidance here

Visiting shops, handling money, being part of the community are all part of the EYFS, if she does not want care that follows regulations then again, a nanny

Give notice, we've all had difficult or bad starts to our CMing businesses

Hmm I would get shot personally but then I am not a cm and don't have much patience with this kind of parent!

I do agree with her that at playgroup you shouldn't be sitting with your friend drinking coffee - you should be playing with/supervising the children.

Other than that though - it's up to you which groups you attend, you are running your own business, you aren't a nanny employed by the parent.

Illness/D&V - do you have a policy? You should be excluding for 48 hours. Did you make the parent aware of your policies when you signed contracts?

Run like the wind and don't look back! This lady needs a nanny not a cm'er, if she wants to dictate what her son does and does not do during the day.

what can you do???

tell her to piss off

she wants a slave, not a childminder