Extra duties for nanny, what is reasonable?

The OPs nanny does sound rather cold as the child is ill and she doesn't want to help out a little above and beyond the call of duty indeed she isn't even doing basic nursery duties. However general housework is not part of a nannies duties unless it was created by the children during the nannies working hours. I have emptied dishwashers hung out washing left in the machine by a busy mum and am not precious about doing the odd extra thing to help.

Although I don't agree with her in this instance; Perhaps longjane had been taken advantage of in the past. In one of my early nanny jobs I worked for a woman who mistook the title nanny for "subservient victorian housemaid" I soon put her rightand gave in my notice! Since then I have had many lovely employers and provided they do not take advantage I will do the odd extra thing for them.

even if this nanny wants to seperate her own family time from work she could show more sympathy and understanding. I hope your child gets better soon and maybe you need to rethink the type of nanny/childcare you need. I once took on a temporary job as an extra pair of hands to help a mother who was poorly herself and helped out in all sorts of ways that I wouldn't strictly expect to do as a nanny.

Im a nanny myself, looking after 4 children, i think all the above you mentioned are totally reasonable things to ask of her, it makes me wonder why shes not doing them already, i get all the children involved in the tidying, cooking etc, she needs to learn to manage her time more efficently

longjane - I think you are reading the posts wrong - op has a dd as well as a ds. DD is at school, but there will still be time before and after school that she will need care. Km has stated that the children's ironing is to be done when ds is asleep (and presumably dd at school)

Most nanny jobs will include nursery duties (children's washing, ironing, tidying and hoovering their bedrooms and play areas, fresh cooking and batch cooking) There will be very few jobs out there where the nanny only cares for and plays with the children.

Anyway, I am not going to post to you about this anymore. Read other peoples replies too - no-one has agreed with your heartless rants.

longjane, you really are not doing yourself any favours. You appear to be talking rubbish, and if (it's a big 'if') you do have a valid point, it is being very well-disguised under a deluge of barely legible trite. You have not read the OPs posts clearly because if you had, you would know that the nanny has time on her own when the kids are out of the house, for example.

And your attack now of OP's treatment now of poor little doggy is frankly ludicrous. Even if the dog were a 12month old puppy (which I am, sure it isn't) if I had a child in hospital I wouldn't give a stuff if the wasn't out and about 24/7. The mum clearly does give a stuff and has talked about trying to organise for it to be walked and so on.

I really would give up on this thread because every post you make is displaying maximum ignorance and minimum empathy. Not a good combo.

I think nbee you are reading the posts wrong
the nanny has own school age children so wont be that young

what do your kids do when you are doing the cleaning
or ironing
I dont iron when any children are around ever
but if the parents are looking after the children surely the parents should be telling the nanny what they want them to do instead.

knackeredmother employed her nanny so her son did not go to nursery not to do the cleaning.
but she or dh looks after son if he is sick
so what should nanny do then oh yes the cleaning

would like this job be employed to do look after the child but find out the parents are doing that and they want you to clean.

she really needs to think what she need with the help

ps i feel really sorry for the dog
kept out of the way
does not even get let for wee let alone a walk
glad the nanny is not expected to look after him
wonder who does .....

longjane - you need to reread the op. KM is really not asking for anything over and above what a nanny would normally do - even the hoovering of the lounge, if nanny has been using it with the children and they've left a mess from their shoes/arts & crafts etc then she should stick the hoover round.

Chipping got it spot on when she said there were 2 types of nannies - those that care and those that work for the money and work to rule. KM's nanny isn't even working to rule as she is not doing the children's ironing or tidying their rooms and it is in her contract.

Employing a nanny should make your life run smoothly, not make things more difficult - especially when you are having a stressful time with a sick child.

KnackeredMother - I hope now that you've had a word with your nanny that she pulls her finger out, it does sound like she may do. Maybe she is just young and naive and didn't realise you were struggling, or maybe to her it looked like you were coping - particularly as she came into the job without knowing what your life ran like before your son was ill.

Longjane - you are clearly not reading what the OP is writing.

yes my all means replaced your nanny but make sure you tell the new one that cleaning is what you need not child care.
You are asking a nanny to do a cleaners job.
i think you need to rethink what you need.

so your nanny does look after your sick child you do

sorry about that

Knackered please don't waste anymore time defending yourself - there is absolutely no need. Re-read Callairds post, does it look like you are being unreasonable - NO, does it look like LJ is? YES.

There are nannies and there are nannies. You have one kind, when actually you (and pretty much) pretty much everyone else, need the other kind. I would be replacing your nanny without hesitation.

right so does look after a sick child cos you are with him
so does you do while you are there
surely you can give a list of jobs you want her to do if you dont want her for childcare.

I still think you want a housekeeper/cleaner than a nanny

I've had a parent I babysit for on occasion (not even very regularly) text me to tell me their son was in hospital. I texted back when I got a free moment to ask how he was and if there was anything I could do to help.
It's just being friendly isn't it? Sure if your boss called you constantly on your days off then that would be different, but a text to say a child is in hospital is useful to know and could responded to at anytime in the next day or so (most of us would probably respond faster).

Knackeredmother - would I be right in thinking that your nanny knew that your son was having a fairly high hospital visit rate when they took the job? Or is that something that has occurred after your nanny started?

so you txt your nanny to tell her your child is sick !
but then you moan that she is not doing the cleaning! which you are not doing cos your child is sick.
what do you want
and childcare
or cleaner
if the cleaning is more in important to you than childcare then you need to get your cleaner in more offen.
and why cant your dh clean is that important to you.
At the moment you nanny is coping with a sick child and unsick child (who might be worried about her brother) and unwalked dog and expect to do the cleaning as well.

My ex-boss calls me when her children are ill and I want to know.

I would want my boss to call me if my charge were ill a) so I know what to be prepared for the next working day b) give them some advice on how to treat illness (most of my employers are first time mothers and panic a little at bugs/virus etc) c) I care about my charges and want to know if they are not feeling well (and ex-charges, I have giving up days/weekends off to go visit ex-charges in hospital (for minor ops))

I also do alot of the things you would like your nanny to do as my basic duties, I wash, iron and put away all the children's clothing and bedding, I change the beds once a week (more if there is an accident/nose bleed/dirty socks incident!) I hoover and dust their bedrooms and playroom (will hoover the sitting room if that's where they play but don't tend to dust, too many knick knacks that I can break!)

I cook for the children and batch cook for the freezer (I know of a lot of nannies that get pissed off if bosses use the frozen meals at the weekend but I feel that they pay for the food and are paying for my time when I cook, why the hell shouldn't they?? One of my DB used to use some for himself if MB was away! I do get a little wound up if they use them all and don't mention it, not that that evers happens because there are always loads of meals in there!)

I do the food shopping, either just for the children or for the family, which ever they require, I take the children, I bring it home and put it away, or I add my ingredients to the families Ocado (NB other suppliers are available!) and when it is delivered, I will put it away. I will pick up odd bits if we are running out and I am passing the shop, I will do occasional errands for my bosses, dropping/collecting dry cleaning, collecting parcels from PO depot, posting letters, one boss always liked fresh flowers on a Friday and she had them delivered at the cost of £15, we went swimning near the flower shop and so we would pick them up on our way home.

I empty the bin if it is full, take the recycling if it is full, empty/load the dishwasher, sweep and mop the kitchen floor as and when needed. These things are not in my contract and if they don't get done by me by Friday (busy week or whatever) I would expect my bosses to do it over the weekend, I will not be taken advantage of and expect give and take, if they want me to work to contract then I will!!!

Being a nanny and working in a family home is all about being flexible and helping out when needed, hopefully if you (nanny) are flexible, then the family will respect, appreciate and be flexible in return!

Sorry it,s a bit of a novel!!

Hi, agree with the above posters really, our nanny does all of this for us, with 2 healthy children. She also texts at the weekend if a child was ill on the Friday.

I think your nanny sounds a bit more like someone from a nursery nurse or au pair background rather than a nanny training background - nothing wrong with that, obviously, but in those circumstances it's a learning curve to become a true nanny, I think, where they understand that it's not just about playing happily with the children but about safeguarding the children's fundamental wellbeing which includes the boring stuff like cleaning the floor so they don't get ill.

Glad you had a chat and things are improving but keep up the explanations and don't accept second best as there are plenty of good nannies out there.

Knackeredmother - and there you have, in type, exactly what we are talking about A loving nanny who cares v a nanny solely in it for the money. You seem to have the latter, you need the former.

You are not over reacting. If I had a nanny I would want one like I was outlining above & more like Nbee and not one like longjane. I want a nanny that cares, I want a nanny that is also my friend, I want a nanny where things are give & take - I don't want a nanny that works to rule 8am to 5pm and doesn't give a flying outside those hours.

I'm not choosing to do my job 24/7 - it takes a matter of minutes to read and reply to a text - what's a few minutes once or twice out of 4 days!

I care for the kids that I look after, I can't just switch that off when I am not there. I don't think there'd be many nannies that on hearing that their charge was in hospital would not think or worry about them until they were next at work.

nbee maybe you and kids and husband dont mind you txting work.
when you could be giving them your 100% attention and I hope you boss does not mind you txting them when you are at work( i know lots of work do mind you txting home and stuff)
but maybe OP nanny family does like her txting work
maybe she has other jobs she has to do that day

A nanny is not your friend or support person she is their employee paid to do x y and z.
Nobody has to do their job 24/7 if you chose to do then it up to you

Just reread your post and feel I need to add a few more and a