opinion on this please

I think many babies would disagree with you that they should be going 3 hours between feeds

StillSquiffy - if the current contract doesn't include the new baby then they need to renegotiate it.

the babysitting is part of her contract, and yes lucky that most of it, puts to bed and all quiet :) but amazed impressed that the parents have been going out twice a week with a 8week old

tbh a 8 week baby should be starting/if not in a routine and as bf should be able to last 3hrs between feeds - so fed at 7pm and should last till 10pm

def sounds like colic - poor wee sausage :( - but yes there needs to be some means of feeding/milk left for the nanny

if this baby is ebf then maybe mum needs to take with her

Your friend is being very unreasonable about having to 'work' during the babysitting slot - it's part and parcel of her job and there are times when it will be demanding, times when it won't be.

Not sure also why you would 'amend' a contract because a new baby has arrived?

BUT it is unreasonable to expect to soothe a baby without having expressed milk to hand and she should definitely kick up about that.

the babysitting isn't unpaid, though, is it? it is part of the job, and included in the contract., and therefore included in the salary.

agree with ChippinIn - your friend has had it easy with the babysitting so far (no judgement meant, just stating facts) - assuming the other 3 are youngish, then ti would not be unusual for one/all of them to occasionally play up, or be wakeful etc, so for this to have not happened, she is lucky to have had peaceful evenings.

milk should be being left for the baby, though. whether expressed milk, or formula, she should have a way of feeding the baby if it wants to feed - and as other posters have pointed out, cluster feeding in the evening is not unusual at this age.

Do the parents actually know how upset and unsettled the baby is while they are out? I can't imagine leaving an 8 week old to go out if I knew they were distressed.

thebody - if you have a live-in nanny 60 hours a week, then 4 children is obviously no problem

sorry just cant get over the fact that mum is even managing to go out in the evening( unless its a sponsored sleep a thon) with 4 kids (one of whom is 8 weeks old) total respect!!!

next to that your young friend being annoyed by a crying baby for 2 hours pales into insignificance.. yawn yawn still tired and youngest dc is 12

so i am guessing the baby gets fed before 6 and then not until 10? in the routine by gf it suggests a expressed bottle feed at 10 so perhaps you could point that out and get the mum to express for you?

Oh yes, we mustn't mention 'that' person must we! Crazy, poor babies!!

looneytune - ah, that would make more sense. 4 hours is a long time between feeds at 8 weeks old though, isn't it? Mind you suppose some people will follow those routines done by certain people like the one who will not be named on mumsnet, rather than feeding on demand.

Nannynick - I think she means EXCLUSIVELY BF rather than EXPRESSED - is that right OP?

If that is the case, I think it's out of order to leave a little 8 week old baby with no means of being fed :( No way would my children have managed 4 hours with no milk although I've looked after children (I'm a CM) from younger than 8 weeks old who've been fine for that length of time if on formula as I think it fills them up for longer.

For me the discussion would be around the lack of means to feed the poor baby rather than having the 1 extra child to look after but yes, they also need to look on the impact on the nanny if they work a 12 hour day as they can't expect nanny to be as refreshed as they normally would be.

Babysitting is standard, but it usually means after the children are in bed - I have never been expected to work an unpaid hour between finishing work and children going to bed.

4 hours is too long to leave a breastfed 8 week old with no milk. Breastfed babies often cluster feed during the evenings where they need feeding little and often, hourly or more, it's not a good time to be leaving a baby to go out.

Well - she is being paid as a live-in nanny, 2 nights babysitting included is pretty standard (as you say). Sometimes babysitting means just listening out, sometimes it means dealing with the kids - she's had it lucky until now, but now she actually has to do something in those hours. I just see that as the way things are.

If she isn't happy nannying for them at the same rate for 4 children rather than the three - then that's something she needs to discuss with them - but she needs to decide if it's worth losing her job over & if not, how she's going to approach them. If she gives them an ultimatum she may find she's out of a job - it's an employers market out there right now.

In the past I've babysat for a 3 day old baby, so whilst it may be quite a young age to leave a baby with someone else, it's not that unusual especially as the parents know your friend quite well if they have been employed for a while.

Babies are often not great that time of day and do need quite a lot of soothing as they can get wind build up in their tummy.

I would expect to be left with the ability to be able to feed the baby. EBF? Possibly what I know as EBM (expressed breast milk) - so is mum not leaving expressed milk in the fridge/freezer?

The contract includes babysitting two nights a week, so I don't feel it's unreasonable to leave baby. I do however feel it's unreasonable not to leave any way of feeding that baby, if that is indeed what is happening.

Does your friend know lots about babies - are they perhaps not feeling confident in their ability to care for the baby.

If mum and baby are around during the day, does your friend have any contact with baby at all during the day - getting to know the baby during their most wakeful time could help.

Tbh it wouldn't occur to me that they wouldn't leave the baby. I can't imagine them enjoying an evening out with a young baby screaming for the majority of it. I would, however, expect them to leave a bottle of expressed breastmilk or formula so I had options. I'm assuming they don't stay out too long if the baby needs feeding fairly regularly?

That reminds me, DC3 used to cry 7-9pm and needed holding the whole time. A friend suggested the baby had to put up with dc1 and 2 around in the day and 7-9 was dc3's time. Not sure about that really.

Sounds like colic? Usually this is early evening and if it's ok the rest of the time might be worth looking into?

Not sure contract wise as I'm a Childminder.

She needs to talk to the parents and explain that if she is up too late with the baby she is not going to be rested to look after the older children in the day..